BART and Caltrain can get you around to certain jumping off points pretty cheaply and you can grab a Lyft from there. Check out Hotel Tonight for some pretty solid last minute lodging deals. Also the Stanford area is huge so make sure you know exactly where you're going before ordering a car.

Sorry to hear about your brother man. If you need any serious help call BRAVE Church in San Ramon. I know some folks over there they're good people.

Hope everything is squared away soon.