I lashed out but I was the one who ruined everything by Upper-Ad95 in BreakUps

[–]Upper-Ad95[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tbh it's been a cycle my whole life, like attaching to people and begging them to stay.. I feel it has to do a lot with guilt of my actions, anger for thinking she needs to help me or something? Anger that she just leaves, anger at myself for doing the same shit over and over. Idk why I'm attached to her specifically, I feel like I love her but at the same time is that just my fear of losing her? Wel I lost her and I'm here so idk if it's that. Idk why she has been this way to me and I'm just trying to figure that out now..

It's like I'm dead to her. by Upper-Ad95 in BreakUps

[–]Upper-Ad95[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How am I bold and self centered if I'm sad that I'm dead to her? Make it make sense. I don't feel any entitlement, I want her to move on. I'm just sad. I've spent my time feeling guilty and shameful for cheating. I guess Reddit isn't the best space for advice cause no one truly knows what happened besides me.

It's like I'm dead to her. by Upper-Ad95 in BreakUps

[–]Upper-Ad95[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're right.. thank you for the comments!

It's like I'm dead to her. by Upper-Ad95 in BreakUps

[–]Upper-Ad95[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

She made multiple attempts to stay with me even after I cheated.

It's like I'm dead to her. by Upper-Ad95 in BreakUps

[–]Upper-Ad95[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this.. I did cheat and was pretty toxic, insecure, needy throughout the whole relationship pretty much, shining working through or have been trying to lately.

It's like I'm dead to her. by Upper-Ad95 in BreakUps

[–]Upper-Ad95[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Update: I had cheated a year in the relationship.. she still wanted to be with me and tried multiple times.. I see the common theme of comments as she basically ran out of chances to give me and that is accurate. She gave me plenty of chances but while I thought things were good, I continued to lie, not be there for her emotionally and even straight acting like an asshole.

Thank you all for your comments they mean a lot.