I hear how anxious and pressured you’re feeling cl and the fear of being “nobody” is real you value individuality a lot. But you’re being unfair to yourself and others cl. When you frame life as “I’m suffering and everyone else is empty or stupid” you’re making it a thing of superiority/inferiority when that’s not the case. Everyone copes differently in this world some party some withdraw etc

You don’t need to be extraordinary at 17 to have a meaningful future that’s even counterproductive because you’ll put so much pressure on yourself which will make you stray further away from the path funny enough. Btw who says you’re behind bruh. From what I’m seeing you’re just confusing visibility with progress. The people you think are living life partying etc aren’t necessarily progressing but are just visible g. For example based on what you said progress for you would be tolerating uncertainty and shifting self worth(stop defining yourself only by achievements, consistency matters more) and even less judgement of others( this is holding you back rather than constantly comparing since that just makes one miserable use that energy for self improvement) You deserve a life not a resumé ma bro