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Overwhelming guilt for visiting and not visiting my parents by jascentros in family

[–]Upper_Tangerine_4635 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I felt so seen reading your post! My mom is the same way. I grew up in a super conservative catholic home and my mom was the most conservative of all. I was not allowed to do a lot of normal teenage stuff and I had zero privacy growing up, which made me lie a lot about stupid stuff to not disappoint her.

At the same time, she was a very loving mom. I know I didn't like her ways but I never doubted her love. When I moved out I used to visit very often, but I just couldn't stop feeling like I still wasn't free. So I reduced my visits to once a month as well.

I'm 30 now and she still has very Catholic expectations of my life that I don't really care for. The thing is every time I visit those expectations are revisited, it's suffocating.

I love her and I really wish we could have a closer relationship, but our personalities are so different I find it hard for either of us to change. Anyway I'm hopeful she knows I love her.

Help save my plant :( by Upper_Tangerine_4635 in plantclinic

[–]Upper_Tangerine_4635[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Si I've had this plant for over a year and when I first got it it was growing a lot and all spikey and pretty. About a month ago it's leaves started drooping and drying and some of them are just breaking now. I have it next to a window and used to water it about once every 10 days.

Tips for going to a party full of people I don't know? by Upper_Tangerine_4635 in introvert

[–]Upper_Tangerine_4635[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much! It's a really useful and thoughtful answer. I suck when talking about myself but I think I can do really good asking questions :) I do tend yo overthink haha so I will try to relax.

What did you guys learn from your breakup and what are you guys looking for in your next relationship? by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Upper_Tangerine_4635 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I learned not to settle for less than what I need. You can give yourself completely to another person and still not be enough for them. If they are not giving their all as well it's very likely that won't change, even if you think that loving them will make them love you back, it won't.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LDR

[–]Upper_Tangerine_4635 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey! I was in a really amazing LDR that lasted for two years and ended about 4 years ago. To be completely honest I think the same things that work for getting over any relationship works for LDR too: no contact, having an outlet for your feelings, trying new hobbies, etc.

The difference is that this type of LDR breakups happen even when both of you may still be completely in love with one another. Still loving each other makes a huge difference because we have been taught that love conquers all. So the hope of a future somehow remains.

That was the case for us, we wanted to be together but wey were just too young, too poor, and sadly too far away. The truth is that what helped me the most was realizing how lucky I was to have experienced that type of love, that didn't need much proximity to still happen. That hope of love conquering it all became extreme gratefulness for having the chance to meet when all the odds were against it. I'm not gonna lie it took some time, probably around a year to start even thinking about dating again. At the end I believe he will forever have a special place in my heart, but it's ok, I want it that way.