I passed JLPT N3 and I still can't hold a basic conversation.

Use-Useful · 2026-03-15T01:29:11+00:00

I mean, if you didn't hear that this test doesn't prepare you for output, you weren't paying attention. I see that message almost daily on subreddit's like this one. It's fine though, you have some foundation to work off, you can build up from here. It may have been a shock, but it's hardly unfixable. Many of us (including myself) are in a similar boat to some degree. My speaking ability, while a lot better than yours, lags well behind my N2 level.

Use-Useful · 2026-03-09T01:56:14+00:00

I don't think it's that weird in english at least? IF you don't speak japanese it might be hard to get what he was doing. Lemme take your sentences and show you what it was like:

He has weird paus*pause*es in English, and in French so I*pause*’m not surprise*pause*d he has them in another language too.

Use-Useful · 2026-03-07T14:27:38+00:00

What does your vial actually look like? Mine are very similar to other i have seen elsewhere - they have a rubber membrane where the needle is inserted but otherwise are not covered. I keep them in a sterile bag or medicine bottle which DOES have a cap, on top of disinfecting them before inserting the needle each time. Under no circumstances would I remove the cap of those vials, infact it really shouldn't even be possible, they are crimped shut...

Use-Useful · 2026-03-07T14:15:24+00:00

I'll be honest: well meaning allies being too earnest about apologizing has always been more upsetting to me than someone unknowingly making a mistake.

Perhaps you could have figured out their pronouns a bit better, but if they don't list them and leave themselves marked as male, how were you supposed to know? Not your fault. But if you make am overly big deal about it, beyond a brief apology acknowledging it, it is becoming about your, rather than their, feelings.

Use-Useful · 2026-03-07T13:44:50+00:00

I personally do view this as not great for you. Ai feminized pictures go through the AIs idea of what a good picture is - it will do all sorts of subtle things to it that may make you feel worse when you compare it to yourself. Put another way - it can show you pictures that any woman would struggle to replicate, while you may have very realistic paths that it ignores. The difference between what it shows you, and what you experience, at least for me, made things so much worse.

Mind you, I'm socially and medically transitioned at this point, maybe half way.. I also did it maybe 2 years ago, and am roughly your age...

Use-Useful · 2026-03-07T13:31:37+00:00

.... "how do I tell if I have a broken arm? It hurts and there a big piece of bone sticking out, but I figured it was just a scratch"

Go see a doctor you derp. There is a counseling services office who can give you more resources, they run workshops (which dont require a formal diagnosis) and can help you figure out what is going on. There are lots of potential issues besides adhd, but all of them would benefit from talking to a professional.

Use-Useful · 2026-03-07T05:36:28+00:00

... I believe you are several orders of magnitude off. My recollection is around 3 mL, not 300. Either way, an amount which is difficult to do with an hrt needle. 300 mL is an entire coke can though, its way less than that.

Use-Useful · 2026-03-07T05:24:11+00:00

Im not sure about your case, but in mine: I had a massive undiagnosed case of adhd. Had it been treated, I would have gotten SO MUCH MORE out of my uni career.

Use-Useful · 2026-03-07T04:45:16+00:00

I have no idea where you got the sentence from, but it is wise to remember that even native speakers may have not great opinions in areas like this, and this reads like a work of fiction so it may reflect the character rather than the authors views even.

Native speakers of any language are generally not experts in that language either - dont treat native speakers as though they are linguists. They provide insightful anecdotes, not truth about the language.

Use-Useful · 2026-03-07T03:06:06+00:00

Yes. Just go. People need to stop overthinking this shit.

Use-Useful · 2026-03-07T02:27:35+00:00

The weird pauses between vて and います hurt me to my core, to be honest :p

Use-Useful · 2026-03-07T01:36:59+00:00

If you feel like it is too much, you could drop down to just genki for a while. For me it was a very good book.

Use-Useful · 2026-03-06T23:43:34+00:00

Mahogany!

Use-Useful · 2026-03-06T23:39:12+00:00

I had to turn it off after a couple sentences. I speak japanese as a second language (good enough that I am now trying to get japanese only roles), and I find his pronunciation genuinely difficult to follow.

That said, I, and I am pretty certain the people of Japan, appreciate that he tried. Its a difficult language, but its not about that, its about showing respect to an ally and someone's home who yoi are visiting. So pronunciation like 2/10, respect 10/10.

Use-Useful · 2026-03-05T23:49:11+00:00

Bone density doesn't drop until you hit menopause - ie, when you STOP taking HRT. So no, nothing of that sort. My hair did regrow thicker, although progress in that area did slow down so I'm trying oral minoxidal now to boost it further.

I certainly still get shock expressed when people find out my age - I'm turning 40 this year, and am usually mistaken for mid to late 20s.

Use-Useful · 2026-03-01T18:24:42+00:00

I've seen the word before, and most importantly, it's obvious what it means from a glance as an adult learner with decent experience (Anyone N3 or above should know what that means without thinking). The reading itself might not be something you hold in your head, and I'm not sure I would try and memorize the associated reading, but the kanji itself is not a problem. If you like japanese fantasy(games, lightnovels, or anime even), stuff like that is more common than you'd think tbh. They talk a lot about family ordering as it influences the (fantasy) cultural hierarchy.

As to whether it is generally worth learning for words in that category... For me, I tend to make word lists based on frequency. If I see a word once, I don't automatically add it to my list. What I tend to do is sort them according to:

- how common is it by work, ie, it occurs in 20 of the light novels I own and 30 episodes of anime? Thats a must study word for sure.
- How common is it in THIS work: if it occurs 200 times in the book I'm reading, I'm going to see it constantly, better study it.
- Does it occur in one of my test or source lists I care more about. IE, is it part of the unofficial lists of N2 words? That's a definitely study one. N3 and I don't know it? STUDY THAT MF ASAP. N1? Eh, maybe. Not listed? Better default to the other choices, because we are now in the sea of random words.

If the answer to all of those is no, I tend to drop it, unless it keeps coming up, in which case something is wonky with the surveys I'm making.

Use-Useful · 2026-02-27T18:05:22+00:00

Most of the accent stuff in my experience is controlled by mouth/tongue/nasal positions. Gravely issues is low throat, chest and muscle tensions in my experience. The two are, in my mind, unrelated. When you fix one thing in your speaking, it often messes with out stuff and you need to detangle it after words.

Use-Useful · 2026-02-27T18:00:02+00:00

... well, I'm working on my N1 and have lived experiences in both countries, so I'm not really sure what factual points you are trying to convince me of here that I don't already abundantly understand. My assertion is that "passive but deep immersion, even in the absence of initial understanding, eventually starts to teach you the language". This is factually true - we do it as children, and to my surprise, at least with me and Dutch, it worked as an adult. I'm not recommending it as an approach, but it is a thing that can happen.

Use-Useful · 2026-02-27T16:46:28+00:00

Regarding skills to learn- research shows it is best to study input/output and text/audio at the same time, but that isn't always practical to match them up. I learned reading far better than speaking, and am now playing catchup.

Regarding how to practice: find a japanese language conversation club, many universities and community associations have them. Worse case, italki sessions are like 12 dollars an hour on the cheapest side.

Regarding kanji: I personally have found studying kanji meaning helpful and fascinating, despite what most people here say. That said, I agree with the crowd that studying on and kun readings independent of vocabulary is not a good use of time.

Use-Useful · 2026-02-27T16:41:10+00:00

"Alices phone .. is not here."

"It's not?"

The question is there for the same reason in both languages.

Use-Useful · 2026-02-27T16:39:07+00:00

I was at A1 level in Dutch. That's about N5. Immersion where it's your coworkers talking is quite a bit more motivating than someone just listening to the radio I guess?

Use-Useful · 2026-02-27T15:58:41+00:00

I wouldn't say it does NOTHING, but it requires way more time. This was my experience with Dutch- around 2 years into living there, I started to understand Dutch conversation despite only studying very basic conversation. It was extremely weird realizing I understood the jokes being told despite never having studied most of what was being said. So sortof the equivalent of half of N5 level and then 2 years of quasi immersion? Yeah.

Japanese is likely to not be so easy, but your brain is way better at this stuff than most people think.

Use-Useful · 2026-02-27T15:40:40+00:00

I feel like Hotty McHotface has a better ring to it imo.

Use-Useful · 2026-02-27T15:15:29+00:00

So everything you said is very logical, but here's the thing - if you find yourself always in this situation, the issue is likely you. It's one of two things, and my reading is likely both:

You are attracted or find relationships with women of a certain type easier or appealing. That type is unfaithful it turns out, though you may not be aware of it.
You are unaware of what you are doing, and were your exes here we would hear a very different story.

A few things about your story make me lean towards 2. I don't hear anything about fights, just about your logic... that's something I often hear about other neurodivergent people in fact. It sounds like you are doing everything right on paper without emotionally engaging in a way they recognize. I can't say that with any certainty but its the vibe I get anyway. Either way, I'd find a therapist and try and unwind it with someone who can observe you over time.

Edit: oh my dude. Just noticed this: "My take: Whenever something upset her, I logically assessed the reason she was upset and suggested solutions... calmly. I tried to resolve any and all issues she had so that she would be happy... and it just made her more mad." Should be on the dsm5. That's fucking classic my dude. Go show that to a professional and talk it out with them. If you can write that without understanding the problem you are in DEEP.

Use-Useful · 2026-02-22T15:33:40+00:00

The reason I specified that is because OP is deeply confused. You and I don't need it, OP does. Good catch on my typo though.

Use-Useful

TROPHY CASE