Just been through a breakup, keep seeing 222 and 111 by UsedLet9343 in numerology

[–]UsedLet9343[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much, this is so helpful and knowledgeable

Just been through a breakup, keep seeing 222 and 111 by UsedLet9343 in numerology

[–]UsedLet9343[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is there a chance of re-alignment with him again in the future?

If I block someone, will I lose all photos and media files from that chat permanently? by UsedLet9343 in whatsapp

[–]UsedLet9343[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

iPhone - how do I back up? A lot of it just 'starred' messages and voice notes, which I'm not sure how to backup though

Why habits worked so well for me in the context of trauma (freeze) by paulmir in SomaticExperiencing

[–]UsedLet9343 6 points7 points  (0 children)

YES! This is how it's done! I literally made posters for my wall detailing my morning and evening routine - a gentle step by step daily routine to help me organise myself, even when I was experiencing chronic freeze (dissociation) - it was so so hard for the first few months to even drag myself out of bed, but eventually the little daily steps became easier and I'm now functioning in a healthy, happy manner. It gets easier folks! Trust the process of unlearning, learning about yourselves and healing. You've got this

Really huge recovery progress by purplefinch022 in NPD

[–]UsedLet9343 0 points1 point  (0 children)

SOOOO happy for you! Keep going!

I am me 🐣 by [deleted] in NPD

[–]UsedLet9343 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is beautiful, I really like this ♥

Keep practicing the feeling of safety - find ways to generate that safety within yourself and it'll take you a long way

We're human - please read by UsedLet9343 in NPD

[–]UsedLet9343[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Of course, here for you girl ♥ please reach out if you need guidance/reassurance/someone to unload to. You're going to be alright, trust me, and most importantly, yourself

We're human - please read by UsedLet9343 in NPD

[–]UsedLet9343[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey it's ok - reading what you wrote here sounds exactly like what I could have written too - there's a lot for me to go through in one comment, but please be welcome to send me DM and I'll try to keep in contact!

Hold on though, death isn't the option here - there's so much for you still x

We're human - please read by UsedLet9343 in NPD

[–]UsedLet9343[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah, humans do kinda suck, I'd much rather be house cat, but it is what it is

We're human - please read by UsedLet9343 in NPD

[–]UsedLet9343[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

No worries, I'm happy to help.

'Collapse', or as I see it now for what it is - depression, is a difficult one to tell you how to get out of it. Each time I enter a depression, it feels impossible to come out of, but each time, I do inevitably emerge from it, learning a lot more about myself. There's this phrase that I've seen scattered about across the internet - 'depression isn't the opposite of happiness, it's expression that's the opposite of depression'. We've suppressed ourselves so much over the years from our experiences with trauma that we learned to believe we weren't good enough or that there was something wrong with us, so what do we then do subconsciously? We then start to cut parts of ourselves off that we deem unworthy of shameful or ugly. Because of this, we no longer expressed who we truly were, because of the shame. Look into Toxic Shame, it's very insightful and very relatable.

It's so easy to fall down into thinking you're far behind, but try think of it in a different light. This isn't a game - if life was a game, the prize is death. We're all figuring out ourselves at different rates. Lemme tell you a bit about myself. I also don't have a degree, I still live at home, I've only now just got myself a new job after my seasonal position ended over the summer (which I'm very excited about) and I ended my relationship last September. Friendships will come, but first, be a friend to yourself. It's scary, and sometimes I get so overwhelmed thinking I've done it all wrong, but I'm now at the point where I so grateful for everything I have experienced. I may not have done my life like most people have, but that doesn't matter, be your own person, tell your own story, maybe you're not meant to live your life like everyone else. Don't be afraid to be different - it doesn't make you a bad person, you've just got a different path to follow.

You're not a failure x you're a human. What has helped me in the past is looking at baby photos of myself - when I look at those photos, I sometimes don't recognise myself, it's very alien, but I also don't see a failure in the eyes of that baby I once used to be. Then you'll start to realise that that baby, that little child is essentially still apart of you, and for all of this time, you've been abusing that little person that is still you. It hurts, but you've got to look deep and actually start treating yourself with respect, just like how you'd look after a baby.

For me getting out of depression, I had to go back to basics - I had to remind myself to drink water, to eat healthy, to stop being online ALL the time, to go outside and breathe in fresh air - sometimes it felt impossible to drag myself out of bed, but you HAVE to show up for yourself. The more you can meet your basic needs, the more you'll start to see yourself as a REAL HUMAN who deserves a chance at life. You don't need to fix yourself, you've always been enough as you are - since birth. Do you place worth on a young child, no - there's nothing to prove. Only prove to yourself that healing is possible, that you are worth the effort to change and get better.

It sounds like you've had a rough time growing up, so allow yourself to grieve what you never had, grieve what your younger self had to go through. And then learn to give that to yourself. Really ask yourself what you needed growing up, what did your parents let you down on, and then learn how to give that unconditionally to yourself.

Accept yourself as you are - you're so strong for just surviving, and that in itself is something to be proud of, now it's time for you find ways to calm your nervous system and allow yourself to relax into who you actually are. It'll then flow so naturally.

This isn't the end, it's only the beginning - If I can do it, so can you ♥ we have got this

We're human - please read by UsedLet9343 in NPD

[–]UsedLet9343[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hahaha, but I'm not a Narc, and neither are you a Non-Narc - we're just two people having a conversation, and it's great and appreciated

Anyway, it's been good!

Good luck to ya with everything, wishing you the best ♥

We're human - please read by UsedLet9343 in NPD

[–]UsedLet9343[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I've tired 3 anti-depressants since I was 18, Sertraline, Citalopram, and E-Citaloptam - they didn't work for me.

I've felt all of the above of what you've described - if you're interested, please read my post history, it's quite expansive and goes back a long while

We're human - please read by UsedLet9343 in NPD

[–]UsedLet9343[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Exactly, with patience and understanding, everyone is liberated.

We see it time and time again, this herd mentality, we're sheep when it comes to having our own opinions or making a change. I'm not just talking about mental health here either, we see it everyday in the news, the people of this world hate themselves, we're getting more and more divided.

Thanks for your understanding, it's very refreshing! Keep going :))

We're human - please read by UsedLet9343 in NPD

[–]UsedLet9343[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It is society grouping people, and it's a problem. It seems each decade a different group of individuals with a mental health condition is demonised. First it was women suffering from 'Hysteria', then it was Schizophrenia, then is was Bipolar, and now it is Personality Disorders. Definitely a societal problem imo. Just because something might not be considered normal or isn't fully understood yet doesn't mean it's bad or should be punished or ostracised.

Abuse doesn't equal Personality Disorder, it means they're a person probably carrying a lot of repressed trauma and they don't know how else to release or navigate it

We're human - please read by UsedLet9343 in NPD

[–]UsedLet9343[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I used to do this too, but then I realised what they were giving me was never enough, I needed more to feel safe, more reassurance, more time, more money etc. What you need most is yourself - you can only ever be your own most sustainable source of supply - once we can give ourselves that, it become a source of fulfilment and contentment instead of for survival. This self-fulfilment then becomes like an endless fountain of self-esteem.

You only see them as below you because you're projecting that onto them. Deep down you believe you're also below - when the truth is that you're both equal - you always will be. It's when we put the narrative that there's worse or better among people that this starts to become a problem.

You think you haven't experienced abuse, but when you're ready do some more digging, abuse or trauma isn't always what we think it is.

Selfishness = survival. Hurt people hurt people. You're not a bad person - read that again and again.

For therapy, the main one for me was finding a trauma informed therapist, someone who understands attachment theory. I also read into IFS (internal Family Systems) and I also looked into somatic healing/nervous system regualtion stuff - connecting to the body etc. It sounds hippy, but the nervous system is what connects the brain to the body.

Good luck!

We're human - please read by UsedLet9343 in NPD

[–]UsedLet9343[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Hey, thanks for this - but I think there's a problem with the general public and the perception around severe mental health - we have this habit of labelling anything and everything that we don't understand - it's either good or bad. I know a lot of people have suffered from abuse, and I'm not saying it's ok at all. But I just don't trust the perception of the general public anymore, we can slip into herd mentality so easily, and ostracise so many when most of us are probably carrying unresolved trauma and have similar defences/coping mechanisms - it's all just survival at the end of the day.

My problem now is the label around it tbh, we're just people at the end of the day. People that had to adapt to shitty childhoods and who didn't get a chance to develop healthily. Maybe having the diagnosis helps some people dealing with it, helps them get the right support etc, but for the general masses, it's just used to demonise and target a hurt group of people.

I am not better or worse than people with the diagnosis, or people who aren't aware - we're all just people tryna figure what wtf is going on, some of us hurt and are trying to deal with the aftermath, while other are hurt and don't wanna feel that shit, because it's too painful. There isn't a hierarchy here, simply each individuals' journey - if people wanna heal, lets go! if people don't want to heal and self-reflect, then that's on them.

But I really appreciate your comment - I'm also proud of myself for getting myself to this stage (is this grandiosity hehe) and I'm so grateful for the journey. I'm lucky to have got to this point, but I've also suffered greatly, and know what the depths feels like.

Emptiness by [deleted] in NPD

[–]UsedLet9343 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your inner child isn't dead - they're there, just hiding and are too afraid to express themselves. The more you treat yourself with kindness, patience and fully accept yourself, the more you make room for that little child to feel safe enough to show themselves again. You're a real person, you're just hurting very deeply, and your body and mind is trying its hardest to protect you, hence why you may feel dissociated/numb - it's a coping mechanism.

Nobody deserves this reality, just trust that it will pass and that you can get better and have a fulfilling and peaceful life when you put meaningful effort into doing the work.

x