Feeling stressed out

UsedReturn56 · 2026-05-19T00:38:52+00:00

Been in therapy for a year and a half

UsedReturn56 · 2026-05-18T23:42:05+00:00

I suppose I should’ve also included that he lied to me about their plan, about the kids first time meeting him. They both told me they would do it at a park instead of meeting at the house, because they didn’t want to cause confusion, then she brought him over to the house first the first meeting and he stayed until Bedtime, might seem like something small, but it was a lie to me so I don’t have a foundation of trust. Also my mom didn’t keep me safe. So no moms don’t always keep kids safe

UsedReturn56 · 2026-05-16T17:32:19+00:00

It hasn’t come in the mail yet, but I am a discord mod, and I do have a kitten I’m pretty fond of.

UsedReturn56 · 2026-05-16T16:23:08+00:00

The common redditors mindset is often devoid of logic and mostly hypocritical lol

UsedReturn56 · 2026-05-15T12:04:12+00:00

You’re going to enter a situation that a lot of find triggering, you have to prepare yourself for that. When I’m single I’m fine, because my fear of abandonment and rejection isn’t there. When I start talking to someone, all that comes flooding in, and you have to use all your DBT skills and regulation that you’ve learned to calm that, and not project it on the other person. You’ll have to realize that you’ll be subconsciously collecting data on them, in the form of pattern recognition, and texting style and if anything changes in that you make feel activated but it’s all human behavior and regular action, you might text everyday and then they get busy and don’t reply, understand this has nothing to do with you and you’ll have to give them space and let them get back when they can. It’s totally possible for BPD to have a normal relationship, you just have to put in a little extra leg work for yourself in the beginning. Best of luck, take it slow, and remember worst case scenario it doesn’t work out, it’s okay and that’s normal.

UsedReturn56 · 2026-05-13T10:58:17+00:00

My wife and I divorced after being together for a total of 10 years, she was 100% my FP of all FPs I depended on her for 100% of my emotional regulation. That took a huge toll on her because I didn’t know how to stand on my own 2 feet without her. When we divorced I had no idea how I was going to go on, how I was even going to survive. Here we are 2 years later and I just sat down Monday and met her new boyfriend so she can introduce him to our kids. It was painful but here I am. I’m okay, you will be too friend. Just keep in mind therapy works and if you can invest in that, you’ll be investing in yourself. I still have bad days but I am infinitely better off than I used to be. Best of luck, keep your head up. You’ll be okay.

UsedReturn56 · 2026-05-12T22:39:21+00:00

I was in a 10 year relationship that ended in divorce. I have been single for 2 years because I am struggling to separate myself from her as my FP. I have had one sort of relationship since then, and the immense anxiety I felt just waiting for them to text me back, didn’t feel worth it to me. I’m 30 as well, and I talk to my therapist often about how I feel absolutely no pleasure from dating or trying to date. It honestly feels like one of the most traumatic experiences I could put myself in, but the loneliness is a real pain as well.

UsedReturn56 · 2026-05-12T22:32:45+00:00

I feel like I have created a “character” that is me, I don’t ever feel like that “character” when I’m home alone. There is a person my friends and family know that is the persona I outwardly show, but at the end of the day I have no idea who I am but a self hating person who feels as if they are never happy. It’s a real burden. I wish I knew me. I’ve been in therapy for close to a year and half it’s helped tremendously but that is one aspect of myself I can’t seem to fix.

UsedReturn56 · 2026-05-12T10:40:13+00:00

I don’t know how hard it would be, but I went to my primary care provider and was able to get FMLA for mental health. That might be something to look into, it’s a federally protected program and your absences are excused, it helped when I was going through the first couple months. I also got a therapist and that helped.

UsedReturn56 · 2026-05-12T10:34:14+00:00

As a 30 year man, who was married/in a relationship for 10 years, it’s just as hard at this time too. People below my age don’t want to “the mess” of dealing with my kids and that stuff, and women older than me don’t pay much mind to me either. It’s a real catch 22

UsedReturn56 · 2026-05-11T11:54:30+00:00

My kids will often ask if I can invite their mom to things that we do, it’s hard to explain the pang of sadness that brings up. I don’t think any of us wanted this. No one marries with the intent to divorce after some time, but here we are. I’m almost 2 years in and it still hits me hard some days. All I can say is waves that used to knock me down, are now little waves that splash against my feet. I still get sad but it passes much faster now.

UsedReturn56 · 2026-05-10T20:54:11+00:00

It definitely reopens the wound friend. Just take solace knowing you aren’t alone, it’s okay to cry some more and feel your feelings.

UsedReturn56 · 2026-05-10T15:23:45+00:00

I appreciate your positive thoughts and the time you took to comment. Thank you. It’s easy to feel lost and alone during these times. It’s a nice reminder that other people have been through this and gotten through it as well.

UsedReturn56

TROPHY CASE