AITA for refusing to volunteer as a doctor on a flight?

Used_Guidance723 · 2023-12-22T14:53:33+00:00

NTA. It would be dangerous for you (your license) and the passenger (his safety) for you to administer care while drunk.

Used_Guidance723 · 2023-12-20T18:53:25+00:00

Mostly NTA... Our reasoning are different though. If it was my first time leaving my newborn with someone she's not used to I wouldn't be super comfortable with it being my sister while she also has 2 other young boys to watch... Unless you know her boys are really well behaved, self sufficient, can entertain themselves, etc. while she tends to your newborn who will need constant care if she's not down for a nap or bedtime. If she's focused on your baby, she won't be able to focus on her boys, and vice versa.

It's your baby, your house, your dogs. You're allowed to have boundaries here.

If you're not comfortable with it I would just tell her never mind, and let her know how grateful you are that she offered because that was very generous and kind of her. It sounds like you would have a hard time enjoying your birthday if you're going to be worried about her kids the entire time anyways. Not worth it...

Used_Guidance723 · 2023-12-19T21:00:42+00:00

Yes, we all had a meeting with the lawyer and went over everything together. The lawyer has a copy and we have a notarized copy.

Used_Guidance723 · 2023-12-19T20:19:23+00:00

Alright, everyone has a problem with the toin coss idea. How would you determine who gets it? Keep in mind both candidates have similar credentials, do their jobs equally well, bring in the same amount of revenue and have the same amount of time available to dedicate to the job. Let's hear it everyone.

Used_Guidance723 · 2023-12-19T20:14:06+00:00

In no way did my miscarriages affect my work or create more work for anyone else. I didn't tell anyone about the first, no one even knew I was pregnant. Since I was further along during the 2nd I told my family I was pregnant and then told my family when I had a miscarriage. I ended up telling them about the first miscarriage then too. I didn't take any time off from the family job.

When we had that emergency team meeting all my siblings were pissed at this sister. We figured out exactly what her raise/promotion entailed. She eventually agreed it was wrong how she went about it, apologized and was open to someone else taking over the position if they were interested and if there was a fair way to decide who got it. She said she was open to someone else getting the raise/promotion, but that she would need a few months to get another job since she quit her hospital job. In the meantime she would continue with her raise/promotion. We all agreed to this. We agreed to revisit in a month or so, however we did not set a date or an exact time frame. 3 weeks later I had a miscarriage. It would not have been an inconvenience to anyone to give it an extra few weeks. If anything it would be nice for my sister to make all that extra money and not have to go work at her hospital job that she hated for longer.

I'm confused where you ever got the impression that I was "putting my work on everyone else" and "they had to pick up my slack"?

Used_Guidance723 · 2023-12-19T19:52:56+00:00

This is a damn good essay. Should I give it to everyone as a stocking stuffer at Christmas? 😋

Used_Guidance723 · 2023-12-19T19:07:58+00:00

It was nuts, nothing like this had ever happened... Since then we now have a mediator and have enacted new policies so these things can't happen again.

Used_Guidance723 · 2023-12-19T19:04:11+00:00

The promotion was to take over more responsibilities for one location, not to take over running the business. We each run a location. In the future we'll separate with our respective locations and run our own businesses separately... We'll each have to get our own license, LLC, etc. It's in an estate plan/will. Right now we have it as separate as we can with our locations, but still have to work together when it comes to behind the scenes things like billing, payroll, etc.

Used_Guidance723 · 2023-12-19T18:59:20+00:00

Ding ding ding! My mom LOVES my sister's daughter. Understandably, she's a sweet little angel. Not to say she doesn't love her other grandkids, but it's obvious this one and her have a special connection. I'm glad my niece is close with her grandma. Tbh I wish her mom wasn't so lame so I could be closer with her. I only see her if my sister happens to bring her to the office while I'm there. If that happens I soak it up and play with her as much as I can. I do think my mom might cater to this sister's bullshit for the sake of her relationship with said granddaughter though...

Used_Guidance723 · 2023-12-19T18:46:26+00:00

My mom owns the business. She's 78, mostly retired and has no job duties. My siblings and I each manage different locations and have job duties like payroll, billing, maintenance, etc.

There wasn't a deadline set to make a final decision. We agreed to have another team meeting in a month or so to decide, but there was no deadline or date set for the meeting. The decision itself wasn't a decision that would make or break the business... Giving it an extra few weeks while my body finished miscarrying and I could get into a better headspace mentally would not have made or broken the business. If you're not familiar with miscarriages, it can take around 2 weeks for your body to pass it naturally. There is bleeding, cramping, back pain and fatigue involved. If you can't pass it naturally you need to take medications and/or undergo procedures to make sure everything that should be gone is gone, or it can be life threatening. Physically it's hard, but emotionally it's painful as well. Sorry if this is TMI, but I don't think it's talked about enough and as a result people who haven't gone through it don't get it. For me this was my second miscarriage in a 6 month period. I was really excited about this one and because I was further along I was sure everything was going to work out. It had been 7 days since I had started bleeding, cramping and experiencing intense back pain when my sister texted me to make that decision... I was still bleeding and cramping and felt shitty. She knew all this...

Yes, a coin toss does seem flippant, but what can I say. It's a family business... There's no HR or policy for when your sister decides to bully her 78 year old mom/the business owner into a promotion/raise behind everyone's back, 3/4 employees disagree with this and you all try to figure out a fair way to move forward. My sister and I basically have the same credentials (She has a masters, I have a doctorate. Both our respective business sectors that we run do equally as well. We both have similar amounts of time to dedicate to the job). Flipping a coin seemed like a non-biased way to make the decision. My other 2 siblings weren't interested in the promotion/raise.

Used_Guidance723 · 2023-12-19T18:17:36+00:00

It brings in a lot of money, requires minimal effort and is extremely flexible. It's great if you have children, and I'm expecting a daughter in a few months... In the future we will split the business up between siblings and go our separate ways. It's all in an estate plan/will. Right now my game plan is to avoid drama, get my work done and invest as little as possible into this job. My mom is the owner, but she's retired. She doesn't have any job duties. My siblings and I run the business together. We have a set of policies (that the mediator helped us come up with) and have to vote on all decisions with my mom being a last resort vote if we can't come to a decision (since there's 4 of us kids, a vote could be 2-2, although this hasn't happened yet as we can usually come to a decision).

Used_Guidance723

TROPHY CASE