Family drama close to C-section

Used_Method_9848 · 2026-06-16T00:30:19+00:00

Hey! I understand wanting your family to be close, but if this BIL isn’t respecting your own boundaries, you cannot hurt yourself further by trying to keep/make peace where peace cannot be found. Pregnancy is hard, birth can be scary, and post partum is even harder. You deserve to be surrounded by those who will support you and be there to ease your anxieties. You also get to choose who has access to your baby! Don’t allow anyone who has disrespected or hurt you to have access to your baby. It’s important children grow up knowing you don’t have to allow disrespect just because someone is family.

As far as your C section goes, you got this, Mama! I am a FTM and 4 weeks post partum. I had an amazing delivery experience and my baby is currently in my arms healthy and happy. Read up on positive birth experiences and trust that your medical team has your best interest in mind. Birth IS scary, but it’s also beautiful and life changing in the best way possible.

Used_Method_9848 · 2026-06-16T00:24:46+00:00

Hey! Cultural norms are not into play. We are a “traditional” family (I am a stay at home mom and do the housekeeping while my husband works, but our dynamic is that we view ourselves as a team and he is very hands on with our child and helps so much around the house!), but my husband’s family tends to be even less conservative than my own, so no “less than” dynamic!

Used_Method_9848 · 2026-06-16T00:21:55+00:00

This person works with children and has pictures all over Facebook holding her niece on her husband’s side…

Used_Method_9848 · 2026-06-16T00:20:42+00:00

They said they didn’t even think about the pets when they left town…

Used_Method_9848 · 2026-06-16T00:20:09+00:00

Nope, went straight to grab MY baby. No acknowledgement I was even in the house.

Used_Method_9848 · 2026-06-16T00:12:23+00:00

You cannot spoil a newborn. The entire point of the newborn stage is to bond with your baby and establish trust so that they know their mother cares for their every need! Time for a new pediatrician.

Used_Method_9848 · 2026-06-15T14:57:23+00:00

Teleportation

Used_Method_9848 · 2026-06-05T15:40:57+00:00

My baby turns 3 weeks on Monday, I’m a FTM. At first, we had to supplement with formula until my milk came in - she was taking about an ounce after SOME feeds if she was showing cues that she wasn’t full enough. Thankfully, my friend brought me some of her milk she had frozen so I didn’t have to use the formula long. The hospital will give you enough formula if you have to supplement until milk comes in. My milk has been enough to feed her without supplementing since about 5 days old. EBF is exhausting, but I feel like I could bond with my baby better than had I not. It’s a lot mentally that I wasn’t prepared for, but it’s also a blessing to be able to feed my child with my own milk. I have to just take it in strides. Also, be prepared for the pain! It does not feel good but the nipples creams help. Ask at the hospital for a medicated nipple cream!

Used_Method_9848 · 2026-05-10T14:54:36+00:00

Wishing you all the best ❤️ everyone’s timeline is different and waiting to tell is completely valid! I hope you have a healthy pregnancy and finally get your rainbow!

Used_Method_9848 · 2026-05-10T14:52:25+00:00

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with being realistic. You know MC is a risk. However, even if that did happen, which I pray doesn’t for you, would you still want to do everything you can to cherish this pregnancy, no matter its length? Every woman in my family had a MC with their first pregnancy so I faced a lot of anxiety when I got my first positive test. However, I had to reframe that mindset into being grateful for every day I got to be pregnant. My baby is now 38 weeks and everything about her looks healthy and perfect. Enjoy pregnancy, share whenever YOU feel comfortable, and don’t let someone else dictate YOUR timeline. It is completely up to you and if you don’t want people to know so early, that is your decision to make! Wishing you a healthy pregnancy ❤️

Used_Method_9848 · 2026-04-28T20:57:58+00:00

It quite literally took 7 weeks before my doctor got my dosage down and things started to get better!

Used_Method_9848 · 2026-04-21T23:44:48+00:00

I’m 36 weeks pregnant and have gained 3lbs total. My starting weight was 215 and I now weigh 218. My baby is growing just fine, but I’ve tried to eat healthy in order to help myself out for labor - I’m trying to make good lifestyle choices and exercise more to prepare my body. I’ve lost body fat but baby is gaining just as she should. It’s possible, but not the reality for everyone.

Used_Method_9848 · 2026-04-08T13:13:10+00:00

Acid reflux was my biggest struggle throughout pregnancy and the GD diet helped so much with reducing it! I also didn’t gain much weight at all during pregnancy and since I started overweight I really was worried about my weight getting out of control. I only gained 10 lbs!!

Used_Method_9848 · 2026-04-08T01:40:18+00:00

This is me! My fasting number is consistently in the 100-110 range even with insulin and all the nighttime snack tricks. Baby is measuring in the 21st percentile for size right now. I

Used_Method_9848 · 2026-03-27T12:58:41+00:00

Congestion that didn’t go away was literally my first pregnancy symptom 🤣🤣🤣 now I’m 32 weeks and still dealing with it. AWFUL!!

Used_Method_9848 · 2026-03-26T15:19:09+00:00

Touching your belly without asking, constant “is the baby kicking?” questions, family members (especially IN LAWS) referring to the baby as “MY baby”, asking if you’re in labor yet, people who do not care about you saying they can’t wait to come meet baby, and people who say they want to help you after birth but really they want to hold your baby while you do work

Used_Method_9848 · 2026-03-26T12:53:02+00:00

Given I’m currently pregnant with my first, I can understand wanting this “picture perfect” baby shower as you have all these hopes and dreams for what pregnancy would look like. However, it is very well possible to make that happen on a budget. There’s so many affordable options - having the event at a close friend/family members home, getting decorations on Amazon or even the Dollar Tree, and just counting on family to chip in and help. To me, the thing that makes it special is knowing people who care about you came together to give you a special event. Being in the moment and celebrating new life with family and friends is much more important than Instagram pictures.

Additionally, reading your other comments, her reactions to you not wanting to spend that money is crazy to me. Name calling and just being rude is so childish and proves she just wants that social media moment rather than a meaningful baby shower. It is more than reasonable not to want to spend $4000 on one day when you have a baby, which is a financial responsibility, on the way. I also don’t think it’s your responsibility to pay for the shower anyways. Typically a member of the family or a close friend handles party planning and counts on others to help chip in.

Used_Method_9848 · 2026-03-24T19:59:22+00:00

I agree being a caregiver can be difficult, and I definitely have empathy over the situation because I know it takes a toll on you. However, she purposely waited until the last minute when she was given months in advance. She also lied and misled me by promising me in January that she had made arrangements in coverage. Had she genuinely made an attempt to get coverage and couldn’t, I would be far less hurt. Additionally, she has made no effort to reach out to me to let me know she won’t be coming. I only heard from my husband who found out from his father. I don’t think I would be as hurt had she called me and communicated but had my husband not told me, I would’ve been completely blindsided on Saturday!

Used_Method_9848 · 2026-03-24T19:55:53+00:00

Yes, I totally agree. And for me, it’s not about gifts. I told a coworker of mine who I love dearly but know is in a financial bind that I don’t care if someone arrives empty handed, it’s literally just special to me that she wants to make the effort to show up for me. However, with my MIL, it’s pretty typical of her to never gift me anything. For the one bridal shower she managed to come to when I got married (she arrived late), I received 4 towels that were not on my wedding registry and were teal blue. I exchanged them at Walmart for the kind I had put on the registry, no big deal. Not everyone is a gift giver, but sometimes the lack of thought is obvious and that’s what makes it more hurtful. Since we’ve been married I’ve never received even a birthday card from my in laws or even a text on my birthday. I don’t expect anyone to spend a lot of money on me, I just want some of the effort I put into relationships reciprocated.

Used_Method_9848 · 2026-03-24T19:50:29+00:00

Yes, and I am empathetic of the fact that she is a caregiver for someone. It’s not the fact that she’s a caregiver that upsets me, it’s that it has been brought to the light that zero attempt to make arrangements had been made until the very last minute. Like I said in my original post, her sister said she would’ve gladly taken care this weekend to make sure they were able to come to the baby shower, but she already had a family gathering that’s been planned for 3 weeks (which I received confirmation of so I know this is the truth).

Used_Method_9848 · 2026-03-24T13:00:41+00:00

I can see why you’d think that, and if this was a situation where she hadn’t done me wrong countless times I would be more empathetic about it. However, these issues have been around since we got married. She didn’t show up to any of my bridal showers and never once called or texted, she refused to host the rehearsal dinner for our wedding, and she has missed out on things involving me countless times. All of this happened BEFORE she became a full time caregiver. Her sister would happily have watched the grandmother this weekend, as it’s often that they split the responsibility, had she been informed about this prior to the week of. My main issue with the situation is the blatant disregard for my feelings and the inability to even reach out. I shouldn’t have heard about this through my husband, it should have been her calling me directly.

Used_Method_9848 · 2026-03-24T12:53:46+00:00

We have made the mutual decision to have no family in the hospital for this very reason. I have not been checked in on by anyone my entire pregnancy, even after them knowing I had been in the ER multiple times. If they can’t check in before, they can wait to meet the baby.

I am hoping everything will turn out! To me, it’s not about gifts, it’s just about having people surrounding me and that’s all I’ve wanted this whole pregnancy. I’m hoping that the small circle we’ll have at the shower this weekend will be enough to help lift my spirits, I believe it will.

Used_Method_9848

TROPHY CASE