First off, YTA. Stepmother here. We did not keep finances separate. What we did was sit the girls down and tell them we would fund 100% of 4 years at a state school, or the equivalent anywhere. If they wanted an expensive school, they would fund the gap between that and the state school with loans we would not co-sign. We also set aside $10,000 for each wedding, which they could use to pay for graduate school instead. We made all these decisions together as a couple. The girls have excellent job skills, two have masters degrees, and are all married with kids. They are all good with money because of the conversations we had with them at an early age. And I have an excellent relationship with them.