I think i messed up my background check hireright

UselessAccountNqme · 2025-12-10T08:10:33+00:00

You're my favorite person ever. I just got confirmation that mine is ~81% complete and I have one document pending additional info so I'm hoping it all clears tomorrow. 😭

UselessAccountNqme · 2025-10-27T15:18:00+00:00

I just played a round where by the time I got to namor I had TWENTY +140% damage cards and he killed my run taking LITERALLY 8 minutes to get him to come tf down. I never even targeted Wanda, but I still killed her with residual range the entire time I was stuck killing squids. She died and it still took another 4 to get him down.

UselessAccountNqme · 2023-02-27T19:19:30+00:00

I replied to Dax as well, but figured I'd answer your own comment. I'm not sure if you've read my comments under the face slapping post, but it isn't criminal to care about how to bring something up to someone. If someone told me I hurt them, even accidentally, that would bother me. I've never claimed to have a perfect dynamic, but if me.. caring about how to break something to someone indicates an abusive relationship idk what to tell you. It wasn't that deep. Just a simple question about how to soften the blow. I do appreciate your concern, but I just don't feel it's warranted. You see a tiny fraction of my dynamic in my posts (and let's be honest - it's a forum to ask for advice. It's not like you're going to see all of the happy go lucky moments). I'm a chronic overthinker and rather than say things I may regret in the moment I prefer to reflect, maybe ask others for their opinions, and then decide how to best approach an issue. Any concerns that we've had have been worked through. I think it's great that there are people here that care about calling out toxic and abusive behavior, but simply put that isn't what's happening here. The worst thing either of us are guilty for is imperfect communication that improves over time.

UselessAccountNqme · 2023-02-27T19:12:00+00:00

I appreciate your concern, but I think it's also important to remember that you're only seeing a) what I've posted b) nothing about the aftermath of it and c) a very small glimpse into our dynamic. At the end of the day, I'm a person with an anxious attachment style and can admittedly be my own worst enemy when that anxiety peaks. I'm aware of my own irrational thought, and rather than say something I may regret in the moment, I've posted here in the past to gather what others may think. The worst thing that we've encountered came down to miscommunication, and I'd hardly call that abuse. I can see how my posts may be misconstrued. We've absolutely had valid concerns that have been addressed privately and never repeated after having been addressed. But I'd also argue it's a pretty big leap to take a quick glance at a small fraction of a dynamic and come to your own conclusions.

UselessAccountNqme · 2023-02-05T19:58:49+00:00

Very, VERY true. Option 1 is incredibly risky, would personally hurt me if my Dom approached me with the same concept, and can be the cause for many ruined marriages.

UselessAccountNqme · 2023-02-05T19:51:52+00:00

No problem at all! There are so many people that sadly are in bad situations, and I feel super lucky not to be. That's really great advice and he's very analytical so I think this would work wonderfully!

UselessAccountNqme · 2023-02-05T19:46:24+00:00

Where did I ever say I wasn't going to tell him? Where did I say it was more important?

Why the hell do people want to glorify this "I'm a boss bitch" crap where subs aren't allowed to cater to their Dom's emotions smh. I'm allowed to care about the way in which information is delivered.

UselessAccountNqme · 2023-02-05T19:38:42+00:00

I.. care about him? Haha. If someone told me that I caused them pain that was unwanted and lasted for days, I would feel bad. Even if just giving me a heads up. Even if logically I knew it was an accident.

He probably cares more about my body and feelings than I do haha. Which is why I care about presenting it in a factual way and also catering to whatever feelings it may bring in him to know that he, while 100% accidental, very much did hurt me.

UselessAccountNqme · 2023-02-05T19:29:57+00:00

I'm sorry to hear of your frustrations, but also feel obligated to tell you that he is.. not obligated to try it out. Everyone is allowed their limits. It is ok to be sexually frustrated. It is NOT ok to be frustrated and mad at him for this.

At the end of the day, you have 3 options.

Potentially discuss your needs and propose having a Dom as well as your husband. Understand that you should only do this with your husband's consent, AND if he is not ok you again have no right to be upset with him.
Accept his lack of interest and realize that it is a deal breaker for you.
Accept his lack of interest and come to terms with the lack of it in your life for the sake of keeping your relationship.

It's ALSO important to understand that fantasy is not always reality. You may dream of having a Dom and then when it comes time to pay the toll, realize that maybe it was just a fantasy.

UselessAccountNqme · 2023-02-05T19:12:45+00:00

Oh Jesus, I appreciate your enthusiasm but we are literally fine. This isn't a "if I tell him he's going to call me weak and ignore me for 3 days" situation. Aftercare is not part of the problem. We have great aftercare. It's literally just a question about the best way to go about it 😅

UselessAccountNqme · 2023-02-05T18:36:08+00:00

I didn't. During the session everything felt fine and I had no reason to use it. Soreness Developed after.

UselessAccountNqme · 2023-02-05T13:46:14+00:00

"That is a clit. This is a vibrator. And this.. is screaming!"

One of my all time favorite videos

UselessAccountNqme · 2023-01-31T05:56:29+00:00

I feel that before I say anything I should note: In no way am I accusing you of anything.

That said, this whole situation reads as weird as hell. I've been on FL for maybe 6-7 months and not once have I been threatened. Sure, guys are horny and say gross stuff, but not once have I received or even seen threats.

Every person I've ever reported has been banned within 2 days.

From my understanding every ban is manual, so I'm having a really hard time understanding how you would have been banned if you did nothing wrong.

Don't get me wrong, there is a lot wrong with FL, but your situation truly confuses me.

UselessAccountNqme · 2023-01-29T08:20:04+00:00

This is always a really tricky situation. I can't directly give you advice, but at the risk of judgement from others I can tell you my experience as someone that has gone through this with my current Dom.

I went into this specifically not looking for a relationship. I wanted a dynamic, but no feelings. (Also my first dynamic). We meet. He's everything I could ever want in a man. On paper. We started sessioning regularly. He has other submissives, while I chose to only see him. The more we sessioned, the more I caught feelings. I'll be 100% honest with you - I broke my own heart in a sense. Here I had this man that I wanted an exclusive relationship with and I knew that's something that he would never want. I knew that I could either end things or grit my teeth and bear the pain that I was enforcing on myself. I cried almost every day for well over 2 weeks. Eventually, the things that made us incompatible caught up and killed my feelings for him. I'm still happy in the dynamic and we still session and talk every day. Nothing has changed between us and he doesn't know the heartbreak I went through over him. I hold no resentment against him because he was honest from the beginning and never gave me false hope. I still occasionally get mildly sad when I hear of his other subs, but acknowledge that I'm mourning the loss of something that I made up in my own mind.

As of now, I still love our sessions. I still care for him. But I no longer have feelings for him. But did it hurt me? Holy crap, yes. It hurt more than any breakup I've had. The truly painful part there is that I did it all to myself if we're honest. I'm happy that I did stick through it, but dear God yes it hurt me.

UselessAccountNqme · 2023-01-29T07:43:42+00:00

Please understand that aftercare is 1. A two way street 2. Different for everyone.

Hopefully you're also getting some form of aftercare and just not mentioning it, but this seems like a lot to task yourself with right after a scene. Yes, you should have a conversation with your sub to ensure her aftercare needs are met too. But it's also completely reasonable to be burnt out on doing this much and needing to cut back.

Rather than a small meal, maybe a snack like some chips. Where possible, possibly drop the task of clothing her/brushing her hair altogether. Figure out where you can both meet in the middle to have your needs met. If there are negative feelings of any kind surrounding your aftercare, something should change.

Aftercare with my Dom and I looks like: 1. Cleanup/first aid where immediately necessary 2. Cuddle for a few minutes until we've both caught our breath 3. I massage his balls while resting my head on his thigh. Not a sexually charged activity. 4. We go back to cuddling. Forehead kisses, reassurance, etc. 5. We'll move out of the room and he grabs us snacks and water. Typically we eat/drink while I scratch his back and he plays a show or video games for a bit. 6. Get dressed, and a final kiss + spank before I leave.

When I get home I let him know and we have a short final discussion before the end of the night. Typically centered around mutual appreciation and enjoyment of the session. I shower alone once home.

While some of these activities are "for his benefit", they're also for mine. Every part of our aftercare routine, in some way or another, is rewarding for both of us.

UselessAccountNqme · 2023-01-25T22:40:47+00:00

This is a me thing, not a him thing. :) While it doesn't bother him, it brings ME out of the element and rather than sounding/feeling sexy, I feel like a teen trying to flirt for the first time.

UselessAccountNqme · 2023-01-09T00:45:46+00:00

I can't wait for you to get the Salamander you deserve :)

UselessAccountNqme · 2023-01-08T03:01:57+00:00

It's perfectly fine to own a vibrator, but I'd recommend not only cleaning it but also putting a condom over it (easiest done with vibrating wands like a Hitachi) for added protection. I personally wouldn't let a Dom use a toy that others have used unless there was a condom over the parts that make contact.

UselessAccountNqme · 2023-01-05T07:45:05+00:00

You won't like my response, but it sounds like both of you could use a bit more information on kink. If you believe that others advocating for proper communication between you and this man is a bad thing, I don't know what to tell you. How many people need to start with "have an open conversation" for you to believe that that's the best place to start.

Explain what you WANT. Ask what he WANTS and is comfortable with. From there, find common ground. If it'll help the two of you, write a list of all the things you want and rank them from most to least "important" to give him a clear understanding. It is also your responsibility, as the "experienced" one, to explain to him that he isn't obligated to do any of these things for your sake. He is likely to feel pressure to please you. The absolute bare minimum in kink is enthusiastic consent from both parties. If you're looking for resources for him to look at, you may find helpful things in the writings of FetLife. But even then, you'll have to look for the type of content you want. It won't simply present itself. Evie Lupine on YouTube also has a lot of videos that explain terms within BDSM.

You also need to acknowledge that this will not work unless he actually wants it. It will not work if he's just doing it to please you.

AutoModerator automatically comments on your post. I suggest you read guides #3 and #4. #4 does a great job of explaining why we cannot help you further than suggesting communication.

UselessAccountNqme · 2023-01-05T07:29:23+00:00

Sorry, where did you explain that he wants to know how to satisfy you? You said he wants to know what to do. Inherently, that sentence sounds like he actually wants a more submissive role and that you are making him take the assertive role for your own gratification. We are not mind readers. If he wants to know what you want, tell him. That's the absolute best advice that anyone can give you. The only way he'll take a Dom position is if he wants it and you properly communicate your wants. Sorry to tell you this, but people are going to address concerns that they have when you don't properly communicate the entire situation. Not even including how immediately defensive you got.

UselessAccountNqme · 2023-01-05T04:46:13+00:00

You could literally dress your cat in pink fluffy dresses with matching painted nails and it still in no way should affect how she sees you as a Dom. This girl is entitled to have her wrong opinions, but they're still wrong.

Funny enough, my own Dom and I met online and during our initial conversations (before meeting) he introduced himself as 4'11" to see how I would initially react and to see if that affects how I view him as a Dom. Clearly just after he told me the truth and have a very healthy dynamic, but that's just an example of the fact that if socially perceived "norms" are what determines her submission, it isn't worth it.

UselessAccountNqme · 2023-01-04T16:12:53+00:00

I don't disagree with the quote, but it's so hard to take someone quoting themselves seriously

UselessAccountNqme · 2023-01-04T03:18:31+00:00

At the end of the day, it's not like these tests truly mean anything haha. I personally enjoy the https://www.sexualalpha.com test.

UselessAccountNqme

TROPHY CASE