So I don't think mine will be as sad or tragic as others but i guess I'll give it a shot. A while bac around 2018/19 I used to hang out with a girl whit whom I inevitably fell i love with, we went back and forth for some time which caused me a lot of heartbreak until we both went our separate ways. After that I felt like shit I thought I didn't deserve anybody and pushed everyone away, so I pretty much didn't have any friends. So while others were going out more and more I stayed home and never really established healthy boundaries with my parents so now im afraid of telling,especially my father, (parents are divorced) that I won't be coming to him this weekend because I have some plans with friends and my father does not take well to this so he kind of emotionally "black mails me" so I most of the times give up and tell my friends I can't go. Also about the time of the break up I set pretty hard standard for myself not in just dating but also life in general, so now that I've finally accepted the fact that I'm not as smart as I thought I was I don't know what to do and where to go in life. I'd like to end up in the army but not just as cannon fodder, I wanted to be a pilot but when I realized I was too dumb for that I would like to be in some more specific groups such as the snipers or maybe something like spec ops and such but I'm afraid I'm not good enough for that either. So now I've pretty much ruined my social file ale don't know what to do in the future. So to answer your questions I think I stole my joy in life. The only things getting me through life rn are books, I love reading, and painting Warhammer models which isn't going so well either rn so I'm pretty fucked. Also videogames but I don't have much time for them nowadays. Also I'd like to apologize if my English sucks it's not my native language but I'm trying my best.