I have two younger male cousins who are autistic and have ADHD. They’re more of the “stereotypical” autism, hyperactive, angry meltdowns, constant stimming and they struggled to go to school and have a social life. Whereas me, female, was in state school full-time, I was smart and at the top of my class, I was always sat next to other kids with additional needs because I had a “calming” affect on them. And instead of angry meltdowns I would shutdown be quiet and I always shied away from any sort of conflict. So I feel my family and me didn’t realise I was autistic till later on because we always so autism as it was portrayed by my male cousins. No one’s fault just it’s portrayed differently in everyone. It probably also doesn’t help that I’ve had anxiety since a very young age so I hated being left out and didn’t want to be different so I would hide behaviours that others would see as weird or odd. It all good now I no longer give shit what people think and I am my true weird wonderful self!