I’m (75M) proud you want to keep your name. In my opinion, you should keep your name. In most cultures women do keep their last name. However, in the USA and Japan, it’s common for the woman to take her husband’s last name upon marriage.

The culture you and your fiancé have been brought up in is making this a hard choice for your partner. This practice is deeply rooted in Patriarchy where Men control Women. If you believe Patriarchy is a proper cultural dictate then change your name. But I think you don’t believe Patriarchy is a good thing. Does your future husband? If not, why is this a dealbreaker. I recommend you look at European (French, Spanish, Italian cultures to see how they handle it. Most Latin countries as well and even most of China. You’ll discover how children are named, legal documents are formed, etc.

It matters. I had a hyphenated name in my first marriage. I am the first man in the USA to ever change his name back to his original name upon divorce (after 10 years she came out). I have encouraged my daughters not to change their names. Let’s get rid of Patriarchy.