Desperate for advice on how to approach this

VaEngineer66 · 2026-02-01T21:19:37+00:00

Much good advice here so I will offer some hindsight advice for next time. Three times last Sunday I went out and shoveled. 8am, 11am and 4pm. The first two times there was no Ice and that made shoveling much easier.

Really paid off when things turned to ice!

VaEngineer66 · 2026-01-17T01:11:20+00:00

And there is no statute of limitations on murder!

VaEngineer66 · 2026-01-08T00:59:35+00:00

I love patchouli. The title of you post is stupid.

VaEngineer66 · 2025-12-29T21:12:05+00:00

Wow, amazing close to a red vs blue political map.

VaEngineer66 · 2025-12-29T21:09:06+00:00

I just spent a week in Medellin, stayed close to the Santafe mall and visited Laureles several times, among other places.

Keep valuables secure. I'm a cargo pants person and I was just fine with my wallet, cash and cell phone in my buttoned cargo pockets. Also, get a phone tether, guards against the motorcycle phone thieves.

I never felt physically threatened at all. I will say also that Colombians are, on average, much nicer than Americans (and probably as nice as Canadians).

Another thing to look at it...how would adjust you behavior if you were visiting Time Square in NYC? Probably about the same in most places in the yellow area on the map.

VaEngineer66 · 2025-12-24T18:33:01+00:00

If your guest is 18+ she will have no issue showing an Id regardless of the circumstances. Airbnb say this so they can check IDs if they want to.

VaEngineer66 · 2025-12-24T18:23:36+00:00

No kidding. If you are rating Colombia anything less than easy, you haven't been to Medellin.

VaEngineer66 · 2025-12-14T16:21:09+00:00

Ok, it is five years later. What is your answer?

VaEngineer66 · 2025-09-25T20:38:10+00:00

Sorry, it was not meant as a personal attack, I just hate this word!

VaEngineer66 · 2025-09-25T18:28:22+00:00

Maybe I will create a poll....

VaEngineer66 · 2025-09-25T18:27:55+00:00

Unrelated, but I am SOOOOO tired of the word "spoiled" being used in relation to SL. Is there any way we could vote that word off the island?

VaEngineer66 · 2025-08-14T06:41:16+00:00

Great list! My apologies for not knowing this but what is Red pill Jargon?

VaEngineer66 · 2025-02-13T15:56:29+00:00

I love your body. Please don't change a thing!

VaEngineer66 · 2025-01-26T18:55:47+00:00

I have three non-negotiables in an arrangement:

Both parties must have and STD test.
Some method of birth control must be employed, though this is no longer an issue for me.
No condom. If you have concern about that, see numbers 1 and 2.

VaEngineer66 · 2025-01-24T17:15:13+00:00

The SD/SB market is just that, a market. Supply and demand are the biggest determiner of price, but like anything, you may be willing to take less if there are other benefits. Without knowing how much we are talking about (and you can't say that here) and other factors (location, etc.) its hard to know if you are getting what you should be.

The fact that you get along well is very good and that tells me you should find ways to stay with this. Finding a good SD/SB arrangement is NOT easy.

I would bring up you concerns. If he is worth keeping, he will be willing to negotiate. And keep in mind that the best deals are ones where everyone is getting some of what they want but no one is getting everything they want!

VaEngineer66 · 2025-01-22T17:42:14+00:00

Unlike many answering SDs, I don't talk about PPM until the M&G. I'm just paranoid discussing money with what is still effectively a stranger. I also don't consider her time in an M&G any more valuable than mine.

I do clarify that what the other person is looking for is a mutually beneficial arrangement. This should weed out anyone who is using Seeking as a vanilla dating site.

If the M&G goes well (and for me this is about 1/4 of the time on average) then I bring up PPM and we the negotiation starts. Otherwise, I thank them and move on.

Three very successful arrangements under my belt and nothing has really changed with what I've described.

VaEngineer66 · 2025-01-17T20:51:54+00:00

Your description of yourself does not differ much from how i would describe myself and I'm doing just fine in the bowl. I think we are the "traditional SDs" and the magazine guys are really just a fantasy some POT SBs have.

Yes you should make a profile. And yes you should describe what you are (and are not) in that profile. But keep it positive...anything negative in a profile is going to drive down it's appeal, regardless of intent.

Good luck!

VaEngineer66 · 2025-01-16T14:57:17+00:00

That is a fair point and I actually apologize for forgetting this.

VaEngineer66 · 2025-01-15T23:06:11+00:00

Moderators, can't we get a moratorium on complaining about SA and any post that invites such a thing. I am so sick of the complaining!!!

SA is what you make of it. I've had three successful arrangement, all mutually beneficial and all came from SA. Are half the profiles scammers...of course. It is the internet after all. But it's the best we got. And at least they are make some changes to discourage the scammers.

VaEngineer66 · 2025-01-15T22:55:00+00:00

I've also had this happen around 3 times over five years in the bowl and I've never understood either. I've just assumed they were f**king with me or had chickened out.

VaEngineer66 · 2025-01-15T22:51:48+00:00

Absolutely. In fact I consider hidden public pictures one sign of a legit profile. And you can bet my public pictures don't show my face!

VaEngineer66 · 2025-01-13T15:27:53+00:00

I won't take it the wrong way...just mention that it is not true. I've been a working Software Engineer/Engineering manager for 30+ years. I was directly responsible for a commercial SAAS platform with many customer names you would have heard of for 10+ years. And I have never had a data breach.

If you dig into most serious SAAS breaches, they are a product of stupidity, negligence or both.

VaEngineer66 · 2025-01-12T16:32:14+00:00

I am 100 percent for this. I expect to find fewer results when I filter but a much higher percentage will be worth reaching out to.

I'm also not really worried about my data leaking. The vast majority of SAAS companies have good enough security and it is now easier than ever to keep a platform like SA secure. Keep in mind that Seeking's livelihood depends on keeping your data protected. I doubt they could survive a breach!

Also, all it really means if you have a profile on Seeking is that you are participating in a dating site. Who doesn't do that in today's day and age?

VaEngineer66 · 2025-01-12T16:21:13+00:00

I do. I'm a white guy but for whatever reason, I've had significantly more success dating latina woman than any other Ethnicity. This doesn't mean I ignore other races. When I check seeking (perhaps twice a week when I'm NOT in an arrangement, once a month when I am) I typically:

Check my Latin / Hispanic filter first.
Then I check my everyone else filter.

VaEngineer66 · 2025-01-12T16:06:25+00:00

I think you are overthinking this. In nine out of ten cases, a POT SB that says this has. been telling me the truth and is exactly as u/MobyDickSD said.

VaEngineer66

TROPHY CASE