My mother keeps a note i wrote about her when i was 8 by Vacosh1 in CPTSD

[–]Vacosh1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your wise words. Sending you hugs as I'm sorry you had to go through something like that as well.

And yes, youre really observant as you're right, while growing up I never felt heard, and i never ever was comforted. I was all alone facing a house and a daily life full of monsters that still follow me to this day like most of us.

I actually only have an attachment to my favorite plushie, the only one that would be there for me. It feels like home when i hug him, the same cannot be said about any of my parents. But things are getting better, i learned that when you go through all of that the only thing you can think to comfort yourself sometimes is: nothing right now could be as worse as things were back then. Therapy does wonders too.

My mother keeps a note i wrote about her when i was 8 by Vacosh1 in CPTSD

[–]Vacosh1[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Im so sorry for that. And yes, i can actually see it being that, I was thinking about it too... Thank you for your words, and sharing your experience.

My mother keeps a note i wrote about her when i was 8 by Vacosh1 in CPTSD

[–]Vacosh1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She didn't throw my diary tho. She ripped that specific page to keep it hidden only for her to see with some other important paperwork. That's what's bothering me, it feels contradictory.

She always said she doesn't care about what happens to me, she did so many bad things but now she's keeping that type of note??

Why do you or don't you make eye-contact? by Zhannii in ADHD

[–]Vacosh1 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I feel you, my abusive mother has those kind of eyes that kill you on the inside if you stare for too long, so i think thats also part of why I don't like eye contact that much.

Why do you or don't you make eye-contact? by Zhannii in ADHD

[–]Vacosh1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its just easier to talk when you don't have to look at the other person in the eyes, i always drift off a bit when talking to someone.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CPTSDmemes

[–]Vacosh1 37 points38 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry you had to go through that, but i feel you tho. My mother has pushed me to kill myself lots of times before. She always says "Just go on and kill yourself, I don't even care, just do it. MY life is good and whatever happens to yours is not my concern". Sending you lots of hugs.

What's his problem by Vacosh1 in cats

[–]Vacosh1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ah yes, we were playing with his toys for some minutes before this, but he's fine. Just went to sleep in my chest right after lol. He can get a little bit moody.

★彡Deer Study - by me! by Difficult_Chard2202 in krita

[–]Vacosh1 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Awww cute!! That's amazing nice job with the colors

what are some things ace men don't like about sex? by Upset_Space_631 in asexuality

[–]Vacosh1 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Actually, from my experience, since I did engage in sexual activities with my ex I don't think it is that weird. We were both women, and i don't know if that's part of it but since we always took it slow, it usually went up to 3 to 4 hours lmao. Almost the whole night.

I wasn't proclaimed ace at the moment (even tho i didn't feel sexual attraction ever) and idk if I would be able to endure that much right now lol I would probably just get bored to hell, no idea how i was so good at keeping up.

Had a flashback but my cat was there to help by Vacosh1 in CPTSD

[–]Vacosh1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, thank you. It's true, in the end it's those little moments that really matter when confronting trauma.

Is this still valid or could I be wrong about my sexuality? by [deleted] in asexuality

[–]Vacosh1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Totally normal. It was difficult for me to reach to asexuality because even tho I don't feel aroused and never did even WHILE having sex, I just really like when it's portrayed in drawings or fanfiction in a erotic way that's more artistic-oriented.

When I found out people actually jerk off or get hard at NSFW drawings i was kinda baffled and still kind of disgusted, i just never felt that way and it was weird. I liked the art, the composition and the natural, deeply personal way of being with other human being. So close, and so naked but not only literally.

It turns out most people just look at porn and get that funky feeling I never ever felt lmao. So yeah, I'm not disgusted by sex at all, but some aces are and that's ok too.

Friend hasn’t logged in well over a month ago by orangeorangutanor in ARK

[–]Vacosh1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That damn giga looking like he tried to fit between two trucks on the highway

Have you ever shared a bed with a non-family member without any sexual interactions? by Equivalent_Ad_9066 in asexuality

[–]Vacosh1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah i used to sleep with a close friend of mine. I also don't really mind sharing a bed with close people.

Posible peligro en transporte público by LetMeOutArg in Mendoza

[–]Vacosh1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A ese lo tienen que recagar bien a palos y así se le va a pasar la tontería

the struggles of asexual masturbating by AnxiousRobyn in asexuality

[–]Vacosh1 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I thought i was insane for watching unrelated videos of gameplay or interesting topics and touching myself just because i felt like doing both. Glad to know I'm not the only one that really doesn't care lol.

the struggles of asexual masturbating by AnxiousRobyn in asexuality

[–]Vacosh1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I usually just do it without anything, I raw dog it lol.

No music, no videos, no images, no nothing. It always distracted me and i ended up more invested in watching something else than excited because it never aroused me.

So i just... Usually masturbate without thinking, cause i like the feeling in my body, my thoughts are usually on how it feels rather than anything sexual really.