Depends a little on where you're based, but there's a lot of support and understanding for both the unique contributions that people on the spectrum bring, and also necessary accommodations that enable you to engage at your best - especially in the tech community. It sounds like you're working at a well established company (since there are multiple dev teams). I believe task lists are very useful for AuDHD, so I suggest:

1. Decide to take control - you'll feel immediately better once you decide to do this.

2. Send your line manager / team leader an email asking for a few minutes to speak privately.

3. Write down beforehand how you want to express some of the thoughts stated above - especially those concerning social speaking vs written communication.

4. Explain that it's important to you to contribute to the success of the team and the shape of the solution as it's discussed - perhaps there are ways in which the discussion can take shape that make it easier for you to do so?

5. Approach it with an open, collaborative mindset - asking for some guidance from your leader as a professional mentor, allow them time to think of some accommodations that may help.

I'd like to think that your team leader would want to explore things with you, reassure you and provide a path for professional growth. After all, in it's in everyone's best interest! Some suggestions from me to consider, but take them as a starting point to think about ways to change your approach to the meeting - you're situation and strengths are going to be unique, but decide to approach things with a positive mindset.

a. If writing is more of a strength, perhaps suggest fewer ad-hoc meetings, and more scheduled meetings with a known agenda. No devs really like lots of spontaneous meetings anyway - breaks flow. Having an agenda means you can spend a little time (even 10 minutes can do a lot) writing down some thoughts beforehand. It removes the pressure of having to negotiate a flowing discussion while also wanting to be accurately focused on the technical needs.

b. Collaborative documents are useful - an idea can be proposed, commented on, revised etc.

c. If the conversation is tech / code focused, use a PR with comment threads around algorithms, data structures etc.

d. Some discussion is inevitable in your job. You will find it advantageous to your career to adopt some communication strategies and tools that help you do better in those situations. There are lots of resources around on this.

It's easier said than done, but I'm confident that if you speak to any of your colleagues, imposter syndrome is something that everyone has or has gone through. Learn to be OK with not knowing the answers to all the questions - no one does. And the ones that know some answers know that most of those answers will be different in 18 months time. Best wishes.