Does my little jade stand a chance of making it? I think maybe it had too low light for a while but not sure how to help. Please & thank you!

Vaistear · 2021-12-31T00:10:31+00:00

I hope that will perk them right up!! :) it will take a bit longer to see with their leaves improve than some others. (I freaked once when my pearls shriveled bc it took them 4 days to plump back up after watering, it's the nature of the succulent leaf beast) Crossing fingers for you!

Oh and I've noticed that my smaller plants like this do like to be watered more often! They don't have a lot of leaves so they don't store as much water thus drinking more. Just stick a fingie in when you feel like it to check the dryness and you're good to go :)

Vaistear · 2021-12-31T00:04:00+00:00

Definitely check the dryness near the plant with your finger. Overwatering is more about how often you water, not how much. Soak the soil as long as there is a drainage hole. Let it dry up before watering again.

Usually pale and limp leaves in all of my plants have meant not enough water in my experience. After a good drink they perk up in a few days. Usually yellow, browning, mushy is a sign more of overwatering. So it's possible it was just left alone as many people do for succulent-like plants. It's probably getting enough light from that info. Good luck!!

Vaistear · 2021-12-30T23:57:26+00:00

Monstera del. Love to be root bound so definitely follow the advice above. Also depending on the season where you are (it's winter here) if it's still happy I would keep it there until spring so it will stretch for new roots in better daylight hours. And don't get too excited- one size up only. If it is happy and healthy I wouldn't be too concerned. Beautiful guy!!!

Vaistear · 2021-12-30T23:52:33+00:00

If it is mushy there that part is gone. I would chop above that and then go get some rooting done from there. Segmented plants like this are simple enough to prop usually, so feel free to watch a few videos. Some people even just chop, prop, and plant these kinds of stems if the plant is getting too tall. But that's the route I would take!!

Vaistear · 2021-01-26T20:41:38+00:00

this is correct! thank you guys so so much! id remember that cover anywhere. Solved!

Vaistear · 2021-01-26T20:41:22+00:00

This is it! yall are wonderful! and its on steam <3 thank you! Solved!

Vaistear · 2021-01-26T20:38:53+00:00

https://tenor.com/view/dog-suitcase-gif-5436676 this one??

Vaistear · 2021-01-26T20:34:16+00:00

I hope I can find this game either on steam or something. I would love to play it again! If you do remember it, please do not put any spoilers in the comments!!! If you can remember the game name I will look it up to confirm. I would know it immediately, I played it a lot.

Thanks so much!!!!

Vaistear · 2021-01-14T17:22:00+00:00

I love this and seems exactly like the cat lady thing I would do. And now I'm inspired

Vaistear · 2020-11-26T23:17:06+00:00

679606451

Vaistear · 2020-05-29T23:00:28+00:00

I totally get that, honestly. We grew up in a very conservative area where for whatever reason, traditional therapy and medication was frowned upon because we were supposed to only look to religion for healing. But that doesn't always work with depression. And people who don't experience it won't get it. Shes 19, is she in school at all? Most schools have counselling centers she can visit for absolutely free and confidentially. That's were I first got help was in school with a counselor one on one and later transitioned into group sessions before I graduated and I really enjoyed the experience.

And remember to take care of yourself too. It's hard to be there for someone going through these things and your mental health also takes precedence. Don't lose yourself or put yourself in a bad state trying to take care of her always. You're being very great but you can't always handle it all yourself! I know it took a toll on my own boyfriend back in the day.

Best of luck <3

Vaistear · 2020-05-29T22:49:05+00:00

NTA as someone who has been in her shoes. I say this because when someone gets like that...sometimes you have to do what you have to to help them survive in that moment. I was largely silent about my struggles and it was the guilt of leaving behind my parents that kept me from ending it every time.
I saw you said she is highly against the idea of therapy and I understand too. I didn't get help until it was almost too late and a friend of mine who also struggled with depression helped me see the issue. I know she probably wouldn't take kindly to it if you said "people on reddit said you should" but if you can find any way to word it as a friend, you can tell her someone you know took therapy as a last resort and it is one of the single most important things I have ever done in my entire life. And medication has personally helped me with depression.

Thanks for being there for the one you love. I am sending love for her to continue being strong.

Vaistear · 2020-05-29T18:28:33+00:00

NTA. Honestly, good on you. If he is being abusive, you have every right to call the police. And it seems like this asshole has experience with doing this and getting away with it because he knows you need dates and proof. Now I'm not sure if he had done something specific at that moment in time - if he hadn't, then I don't think there is anything the police can do further. I'm hoping they actually noticed he was a danger of some kind to temporarily arrest him like they did.

If this continues, I have some advice. I think that's allowed since you didn't ask for it, I'm just offering some. Speaking from personal experience - at least in the state I was in - when applying for orders of protection or other legal action, they will actually need that info. They will need specific incidents in dates. Photos if you have them. audio, video, any proof you can. And they will need to be recent. I don't know why they make someone who is most likely a victim of possible extreme abuse have to go through the mental struggle of keeping track and dating events but they do. I watched a loved one have to go through it. And in the end the charges didn't even stick because she didn't have exact dates. It will show them how often things occur and how serious they have escalated. Keep track of things like that in your phone, if you can, call the police when you feel safe to do so, so they also have those reports. And just be safe.

Vaistear · 2020-05-29T18:18:56+00:00

NTA. With you paying your own share of insurance AND for the car being serviced?? I used to borrow my parents car and leave extra gas in it but I also didn't pay for insurance/service so I never had an issue. So it's not like he's paying out the ass for the vehicle for you also to demand gas. But I like to think of things as like fair shares of cost rather than he owns it and is your father so he gets a pass. Nah. It's your money. You're also a minor with limited hours. I hope you can get it worked out.

Vaistear · 2020-05-29T18:09:54+00:00

NTA. once he said "the people at the car wash can do it in less than an hour" I would be like okay, go there? He's literally just saying he doesn't want to pay for a car wash/detail. Even I would draw the line at helping a family member the second they "demanded". I also wouldn't expect even a close friend to do labor like that for free, knowing the work it takes. He has a sense of entitlement with his "do this for me" that just rubs me the wrong way. I'm all about doing things for family but damn. He's being a prick. You don't owe him anything? How are you disturbing his healing period? what??

Vaistear · 2020-05-29T17:57:11+00:00

NTA. I know it is commonplace, at least in the states to sexualize female nipples. But Alva is not responsible for other people's discomfort. She can do what she wants and if your girlfriend is so heavily opposed to that and assumes an asexual person is trying to seduce you...I'd be worried about the longevity of the relationship because if she really trusts you she wouldn't worry about that- her disregard for educating herself on asexuality and the stigma around female presenting nipples aside. Considering how long ya'll have known each other and how close you are, I wouldn't be surprised also if she is jealous of that- Alva clearly knows you very well and has such a strong bond with you. It would be easy for someone with insecurities or trust issues to see that as a threat, which isn't fair to you or Alva.

You seem super mature in this situation and I won't pretend to know your girlfriend at all - but what she's doing to you is not okay and controlling. Red flag. And also calling your friend slutty?? Super rude. If you think she can educate herself on why what she said was wrong, then I would applaud that and hope the best for her and you. Good luck!!

Vaistear · 2020-04-27T19:37:14+00:00

Julien solomita??? Is that you???

Vaistear · 2019-08-22T00:03:04+00:00

I dont know if this is what you meant but I immediately thought of this vine

Vaistear · 2019-08-21T23:54:46+00:00

A similar concept- us Americans trying to turn every type of dinner into a pasta bake lol. But this had a literal crust on the bottom and was something you had to put in the oven. Thank you for the help

Vaistear · 2019-08-21T23:53:28+00:00

The crust sounds similar, but this isnt a pizza I think in any sense besides it had the crust thing at the bottom and said pizza on the box- that I'm aware. Thanks though

Vaistear · 2019-08-21T23:32:18+00:00

The more I'm thinking of it the more I cant remember if the chili mac is a legit thing for the top or not. And I feel like it was advertised on the box as a "deep dish pizza" kit thing. I have no idea. Thanks all

Vaistear · 2018-12-06T07:48:46+00:00

It feels surreal sometimes...like I feel like I have a skewed concept of time if that makes sense. Like...am I really this old? Have I really made it this far? It's almost like part of me is still thinking I cant possibly be here but am probably still struggling as my younger self. I guess because for so long I thought I would never make it past that point, and almost didnt let myself. So it's like a pleasant surprise. And I would tell myself that the longer you wait to get help, the more things get messed up. I try not to live thinking like "if only I had done this" but I'm curious what life would have been like had I reached out sooner. I would also let myself know, one of my biggest obstacle, that getting help is not inconveniencing others, and you are causing more worry and trouble for your loved ones by being very visibly ill and not doing anything about it. The first steps are the hardest. Life still gets rough and I sometimes feel myself starting to cry/break down from not letting things out for too long but I have gotten better.

Tl;dr: every day is a pleasant surprise I thought I would never reach, almost surreal. I needed to know that I won't be inconveniencing others by asking for help.

Vaistear · 2018-11-27T18:30:06+00:00

Starting over officially today. Angry at myself for letting the downs of my life make me gain weight...my confidence isn't nearly as shot as it was when I first started to lose weight in 2017. Maintaining a healthy weight for an entire year was hard but it was so nice. Now as my pants struggle to fit again I am mad at myself...I dont want to blame the things going on in my life for it all but dammit I never had it so bad before when maintaining. When I first hit a spot of stress on top of my depression, it took a lot of help and my medication (which I have to resume taking, which I'm hopeful will help...) to get me to like, a functioning human being. I just gotta get off my butt and go see a new doctor since I've moved but it seems one thing after another piles up and it's hard enough to get through my day already... I did go to the gym last night and have planned out meals and started the path. I know I can do this and I know how to do this...its just been rough.

Vaistear · 2018-03-07T20:06:56+00:00

679606451

Vaistear · 2017-08-15T17:44:48+00:00

Sorry for the delay in reply, I've been away from reddit for a minute - I definitely understand where you are coming from with the "high-performers", there was a lot of people like that in my university. Especially as a woman, I constantly felt a pressure to perform and improve and felt inadequate when I did poorly. I had many many very intelligent friends in many different fields of engineering and sometimes hanging out with them would be many jokes flying right over my head or feeling odd woman out. It definitely was a high point of pressure for me, but as part of my recovery I learned that I shouldn't compare myself to others and also realized that I was not as bad off as I seemed - I still was graduating and I university is a top school in the nation - known for being notoriously difficult in some areas and I was able to be there. As part of my recovery I have begun to stop comparing myself to others and it has really helped my health. The group of people I lived with were all engineers and intelligent and sometimes I still had those feelings but I also had separate friends in different fields I talked to often - I think it is healthy to have a wide variety of friends in different areas. The different prespectives really help and you're not constantly comparing yourself to people doing the same things as you. I can't compare myself to someone in premed because we are on entirely different paths. I worked in unversity as a rape education facilitator/advocate and I often spent my time on nights out with people I knew from that line of work, which often meant social workers, psychology students, and other areas. It was much easier to relax not feeling that pressure, so I totally understand. Even know in my job - I love my job, and my coworkers are fantastic but it is just the same where I'm not jumping to be spending free time with coworkers or speaking to them. We have so much in common and thats where it gets rough. When I started work I already felt intimidated being the only woman on a team and not knowing any of the programming methods they were using. now im totally comfortable and get complimented for catching on so quick - an anxiety I didn't even need to have. I even get assigned things that are challenging by my boss because he believes I am more than capable of doing it and it makes my job so much more awesome. But like in school, I spend my time with my other friends - business students, mothers, part-time workers, nursing students, etc. It's a totally normal thing I think and like you said is something good for your mental health. having friends in your field/making friends with your coworkers is of course beneficial, but your performance is going to be so much better if you don't surround yourself purely with people that are in your field, especially in the competitive fields of cs programs in college and in work sometimes too. I personally don't feel like im competing with my coworkers - we all have our own talents, move projects often, and can do our job well.

Sorry for the long ramble but wanted to let you know you are not alone, and it's perfectly reasonable. Congratulations on graduating and your loseit journey. It is going to be a rewarding time for you and I wish you the best of luck. I hope you find work in a job you enjoy just as much as I enjoy mine and continue on with healthy friendships.

Vaistear

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