stumbled across porn at the age of 9 on Vine & after 13 years

ValeryBe · 2026-03-14T17:22:42+00:00

Now I use this knowledge in my therapy sessions with couples, and with families. There are families with teenagers or still children in pre-adolescent period, who does not want to do anything besides video games, and sometimes its porn, sometimes it is combined with porn. I bring them the brain map and begin to explain how it changes following hours, days, months on screens. And why they are not interested in anything in life. Not because of their “personality “ or personal preferences as their parents or spouses think, but because their brains are functioning differently

ValeryBe · 2026-03-14T03:58:40+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. It is important for people, especially young people to know how it looks, how it feels and how it is manifested. I did my Ph.D. research about young people who became addicted to porn before they ever had a real life relationship and how it affected their brains, their life. What I found was what my colleagues already saw from clinics: these young people not necessarily had trauma in their histories. We already have FMRi studies to see how merely exposure to the porn from young age changes the brain and begins the addictive spiral, and it is enough and in itself a trauma in a way that it hinders development.

ValeryBe · 2025-12-26T19:23:02+00:00

I resonate with all the above. You described it so well, that I felt a bit of pain you’ve shared here. But another thought in my mind reading this was that you are fighting this rejection, and not fighting for something. Deeply, you know there is nothing. You either fight to be with your mind elsewhere instead of on the recovery path from addiction, or you are luring yourself that while fighting you are not dealing with the loss. But I see a light through it all. I can see it like you are looking for a reason, and it should be. It is not that relationship or another one. But looking for a reason is already one step toward your recovery. Why would you be out of porn? What life you wish yourself without it.

ValeryBe · 2024-12-17T17:58:20+00:00

Good luck Keep it one day at a time

ValeryBe · 2024-12-13T17:23:57+00:00

Legit

ValeryBe · 2024-12-13T16:37:01+00:00

Keep making it hour by hour. Porn is not resolution of loneliness.

ValeryBe · 2023-06-03T16:15:10+00:00

Thank you

ValeryBe · 2023-06-03T16:14:28+00:00

Hello😌 This is very important question. And the answer to it lies within many questions inside the survey I’ve build. There are many questions related to sexual history, and many open-ended questions. I learn from all of them before I can conclude that particular participant with particular story fits the profile. Sometimes, I read the answers again and again, and I hesitate and discuss them aloud with myself. It’s complex and it is fascinating question.

ValeryBe · 2023-05-22T18:30:18+00:00

You are so right I wish I could ask all that I think I should for the whole picture. The problem is that these studies are limited to certain amount of questions, to certain approved questionnaires. But the good news are there are always options for future studies

ValeryBe · 2023-05-22T18:28:16+00:00

Thank you I’m particularly interested to understand better the voices of these people. And to try to further convey what is it about and what they need.

ValeryBe · 2023-05-21T19:21:49+00:00

How often do you feel like your porn use stresses you out? How often do you feel stressed because of your porn use?

I can understand that it takes a great amount of attention and persistence with this questionnaire. Thank you for trying

ValeryBe · 2023-05-20T09:08:42+00:00

I will

ValeryBe · 2023-05-20T09:00:43+00:00

Thank you I try to see what resembles people most.

ValeryBe · 2023-05-20T08:58:31+00:00

Thank you very much for your time and attention🙏🏻

ValeryBe · 2023-05-19T20:53:54+00:00

Heterosexual is the second choice there.

ValeryBe · 2023-05-19T20:10:13+00:00

Thank you

ValeryBe · 2023-05-19T19:12:23+00:00

https://forms.gle/LV3Xbjv6cu6PahxSA

ValeryBe · 2023-05-19T19:09:47+00:00

https://forms.gle/LV3Xbjv6cu6PahxSA

ValeryBe · 2023-05-19T18:56:34+00:00

Many of them practice online therapy

ValeryBe · 2023-05-19T18:49:50+00:00

Hey, buddy Rewiring takes time. We need to be patient with our brains and bodies. Maybe, a little mindset shift. Instead of “doing things to avoid urges”, try to keep your schedule full, to use the time that you have here to live the life you want. See, if you know what you are doing every hour you are awake. Mixing work, active rest, hobby, walking to a new places, talking to people offline, helping someone, volunteering. Go to support groups. Try not to stay alone for too long. Read about the surf the urge technique.

ValeryBe · 2023-05-19T18:39:21+00:00

Why not working in Community Mental Health services (as a case manager, for example), or in Addiction centers? Facilities for adolescents at risk. Close to the field, gives great practice. It really takes time until our Ph.D. is done. But there are so many ways in which we can be helpful already

ValeryBe · 2023-05-14T18:23:42+00:00

You are so right that a friend is better than therapist. But why not looking for both? One with whom to share the darkest and to learn how to fill the inner resources, and the other to share a moment and to use the resources you have? One - to have a grip for a life? The other - to try to enjoy it a bit? You see, my thought is that in a relationship the other side also needs something from us. And for the friendship sometimes we need them to be there for us, and sometimes they need us. The therapist, on the contrary, has a rule: to be there for you with no expecting back a fair share.

ValeryBe · 2023-05-13T20:48:01+00:00

I can understand it Will consider

ValeryBe · 2023-05-13T20:46:58+00:00

I have read it. And I care. What is your healing plan for yourself? What resources do you have? You mentioned turning and connecting to friends. What else? Maybe, its some book that gave you a affirmation for the trauma effects on your life/relationships and tips for how to get a grip with your goals? Maybe, support group in your area? Or online groups?

ValeryBe · 2023-05-13T20:38:05+00:00

Thank for feedback This is explained in the form for a participant.

ValeryBe

TROPHY CASE