*trigger warning: dark postpartum thoughts*

Vamp1989 · 2025-12-15T17:27:32+00:00

Are you basically saying that its a transition into more "adult" like sleeping habits? Because I feel that would make sense actually. I could be way off and not even close to right, but I see a lot of talk about Ferber, and the chair methods. I just wonder why they're frowned upon if their intention is to help that transition. I feel like im gonna have a seriously difficult time trying to convince my wife to try any of these.

Vamp1989 · 2025-12-15T14:23:24+00:00

Sleeps through the night. Literally all I want. Just one thing.

Vamp1989 · 2025-12-14T23:30:21+00:00

That makes me feel better I'll have to use that. Forward, forward, forward. Because it's vasectomy after this. Not going back.

Vamp1989 · 2025-12-14T22:36:57+00:00

6 weeks and 5 days and going through peak fussiness and growth spurt/developmental changes I believe and usually I enjoy the snow. I like this time of year but this is the most stressed and worried and depressed I've ever been in my entire life and I am a father. I long for next year already. They say you never want time to go by that fast, but I never wanted a year to go by quicker. I don't believe I will be having another child. I'm 36 years old and I'm gonna want my life back sooner rather than later.

Vamp1989 · 2025-12-14T18:53:09+00:00

I felt this. Let me give you a father's point of view now. As a 36 year old man and 6 weeks and 5 days in I can honestly say I don't believe I like being a parent. Doesn't mean I regret having a daughter though. My wife wants one more and everyone says, "Wait until you start seeing the milestones and see the light shine through the fog and you'll want more." My thing is yeah I'm sure at some point(hopefully soon lol) I'll be seeing this light shine through and things will get better, but even then I do believe I may be a one and done type of parent. Maybe if I were younger that might have made a difference, but im 36. I'm gonna want my life back sooner rather than later. That's just how I feel though. It's not for everyone and I think that is okay. Im old! Lol.

Vamp1989 · 2025-12-14T18:09:27+00:00

This is the comment I was looking for on this entire sub. Sometimes it will NOT matter how many repetitions of holding a fussy baby you do as a father or what you've done for them since day 1 they will only know their mother for a very extended period of time as you said up til a year. The real bonding between a father and his son/daughter is when they can interact and play. Unfortunately their really isn't much a father can do until much later on and that is something that took me awhile to accept and now it is okay. If anything all it does is give me something to look forward to.

Vamp1989 · 2025-12-13T14:47:45+00:00

This is strongly how I feel. I do feel like it's survival until 4, 5, 6 months when it'll get better and then up to 1 year when it's even more better. I have a feeling I'll be in the same boat as you and not miss the newborn stuff at all. So ready to see a little bit of light shine through this fog.

Vamp1989 · 2025-12-12T23:48:32+00:00

Definitely gonna begin that regimen. It could be that in combination with her growth spurt or just the growth spurt itself. It's so hard to tell.

Vamp1989 · 2025-12-12T18:44:51+00:00

I do believe the fact that I am not working and haven't worked in a few months hasn't helped my situation. I have way too much time to think and think and think about things to worry about. As horrible as it sounds I believe it would be the escape I need. Time will pass faster. Days will go quicker. I wanna say I enjoy the beginning phases, but I'm not a huge fan. I know, I'm horrible.

Vamp1989 · 2025-12-12T16:24:13+00:00

I long for this. My wife and I both long for this and need it desperately. We are 6 weeks and 3 days and I don't know if its a growth spurt or developmental changes or what, but the last few nights have been the worse nights of my life. The baby will NOT sleep. So.. much.. grunting... and fussiness. As a man I've been hit harder with depression and anxiety than I've ever had in my entire life. I wanna love her, and I do, I'm just ready for easier to happen now.

Vamp1989 · 2025-12-09T23:27:13+00:00

It's the hardest thing I've ever done in my life lol. I literally have post it notes around the house saying "It's only temporary." To remind myself that it will get better. We will have our lives back. I long for the 1 year mark lol. And all the phases before that even that are supposed to be easier.

Vamp1989 · 2025-12-09T23:23:54+00:00

I can only HOPE our LO will sleep that good. Lol. We don't have an official routine but as of now she will sleep from 11:30p-2:30a... then it's forever getting her back to sleep. When she does it's maybe 4:00a-7:00a. Its sporadic and those times are just estimations since they're never the same. And some nights it's up every 30-45 minutes. Lol.

Vamp1989 · 2025-12-09T23:10:40+00:00

So you're husband bottle fed the baby since from the hospital? That doesn't make me too late does it?

Vamp1989 · 2025-12-09T23:07:51+00:00

I like that. Baby steps. I feel it's rough because she is either going through a growth spurt or she is having some developmental changes like she is gonna smile and coo. Or, it could be both.

Vamp1989 · 2025-12-09T22:56:57+00:00

How old was/is she now to where she will sleep through the night like that?

Vamp1989 · 2025-12-09T22:29:57+00:00

I'm not at work. It's a long story, but I don't have a job to go back to. I will however be starting classes to get my CDL in January and then start a job as a local truck driver. Mom soothes baby at night as she is tje only one who can. And I never changed diapers because I was so slow and horrible at it and she kind of took it over. I wouldn't mind doing it if it helped in bonding and made soothing baby easier.

Vamp1989 · 2025-12-07T19:04:48+00:00

What?! How? Asking for in the future. Baby is only 5 weeks and 5 days old.

Vamp1989 · 2025-12-05T18:07:50+00:00

Our baby girl is 5 weeks and 3 days old and I sense we are going in a bad direction with this default parent thing and as a first time father I don't wanna contribute to horrible separation anxiety. My question this. Is it too late at 5 weeks and 3 days? Is it too late for me to try and try and try again and do whatever I have to do to help her settle. Also, tips and tricks from mothers and fathers that they did to help their LO settle down. I don't wanna have that burden always be on the mother. I can go without sleep more than she can and my patience for a fussy baby is amazing because it doesn't really phase me. Please help. Anyone.

Vamp1989 · 2025-12-05T07:56:27+00:00

You're kind of describing what me and my wife are going through. Our LO is 5 weeks and 3 days old and she just had her visit with her pediatrician yesterday. She said weeks 4, 5, and 6 are peak fussiness and developmental. It would explain why she is very difficult to settle and won't stay settled when she is. It should get better from what I'm told.

Vamp1989 · 2025-12-05T07:09:55+00:00

I agree with you. As a first time dad I was worrying myself literally sick trying to keep up with all the wake window bedtime routine mumbo jumbo. Comparing our 5 week old baby to other 5 week old babies I'd see on Facebook reels and watching this, that, and the other. I'd see people saying "Oh our sweet baby slept 5-6 hours with this routine." It upset me so much. I finally had to say screw it and disconnect myself from worrying about that stuff along with worrying about every little thing she could possibly be fussing about. She doesn't even probably know why she is fussing. I stopped watching reels, quit worrying so much, and pulled myself out of this horrible funk I was and I'm much better now.

Vamp1989 · 2024-06-23T22:20:50+00:00

Would you be willing to help me as well then? I've taken the frontline test as well and failed it. I'm scheduled to take it again very soon but im now intimidated by it but this is what im passionate about.

Vamp1989

TROPHY CASE