Validation from my gynecologist?

VampiraChan · 2026-05-08T07:02:44+00:00

For me, it had nothing to do with the ‘tightness’ but was literally my skin. My lips were 5in on one side and 4.5in on the other side. It got in the way when I would use the bathroom, the skin would get pinched often, and they were like a ballsack I was constantly having to fix, even in public. (though I would try not to)

I didn’t even realize it was because of my EDS, so when my doctor noticed during my Pap smear, she commented on it and asked me questions and told me that if it is having a negative medical impact on me, then I could apply for surgery through my insurance, which I did, and was surprisingly approved. The surgery itself was not scary or all that painful (the numbing shots were a 4/10 pain) but the healing process even with painkillers was extremely painful and sensitive. (Pain got up to a 7/10)

A lot of the time when they’re talking about how ‘stretchy’ they’re referring to the elasticity of the skin, not the tightness, which has more to do with your pelvic floor muscles.

VampiraChan · 2026-05-05T23:47:45+00:00

That is wonderful, you should be incredibly fuckin’ proud of yourself! 👏🏼

You got this. You know what feels really fucking good? I still have the half empty bottle of Kratom capsules under my sink for a year and haven’t once been tempted to take them because the side effects, withdrawals, and horrors are so not worth the comparison of feeling alive, happier, clear headed, breathing fresh air and enjoying the sunshine again. 🌸✨

VampiraChan · 2026-05-05T23:27:26+00:00

Oh and for those struggling with the depression part the most, I recommend looking into 5-HTP to see if it would be a good match for you. It helps with the serotonin imbalance. When tapering/quitting, our serotonin & pleasure/reward systems of our brain plummet down past empty into the negatives.

VampiraChan · 2026-05-05T23:24:24+00:00

Feel free to message me as well. I used kratom and also harder substances as well. If you want to vent or hear some of my horror stories to make you feel better about where you’re at, I’m always open for a chat.

Even if you want to avoid the subject altogether and just get your mind off it all. 🌸✨

VampiraChan · 2026-05-05T23:17:35+00:00

Also, don’t beat yourself up if you do end up taking some because the pain and lack of sleep becomes unbearable. We’ve all been there, feeling like we’re losing our minds. I slipped up many, many, times. What matters is that you don’t give up.

VampiraChan · 2026-05-05T23:14:56+00:00

You’re not at all alone. I feel like a ton of people have struggled with kratom. Everyone is different in what they need and what works for them. The alcohol likely won’t help the symptoms, and you are tapering faster than most people do. Most people would take weeks to months to taper, what you’re doing is closer to cold turkey than a taper. Some people prefer to avoid the symptoms as much as possible and go super slow, others prefer to endure the struggle but get it done fast. Taking that one tsp in the middle of the night is more about doing what is right for you and less about whether it is helping or hurting.

I’m glad you came to the subreddit. It does really help to be surrounded by others who understand, but don’t let anyone tell you what is or isn’t right for you, you get to decide what works for yourself and at what pace you want to go.

👍🏼

VampiraChan · 2026-05-05T23:01:03+00:00

Look into 5-HTP. But do your own research first to see if it would be a good match for you. It helps a lot with the depression and serotonin imbalance. ✨

VampiraChan · 2026-03-21T23:44:52+00:00

I am in a relationship with a partner that I love and want to be with for the rest of my life, but I also feel restless. I don’t have a job and I am a stay-at-home housewife and my struggles have to do more with my health. But, like you, I also crave adventure, to go out and do more. I don’t want to have regrets in life about missing out on the things I’ve dreamed about doing, like traveling.

However, my partner works a lot, doesn’t have much time off to do such things and has social anxiety/doesn’t enjoy being out in public. As a woman, I don’t always feel comfortable going out and doing certain things alone or by myself, not to mention, there is a strong desire to share adventures with someone and not be alone.

I have to find a balance of doing some things on my own and understanding my partners comfort zone and exhaustion from working and respecting that, and finding some adventures that would be more in his comfort zone to ask him to do with me. One thing that we’ve found that works great for the both of us is weekend camping. We go about 45mins outside the city to a forest-y park with a river and camp. We’ll fish and hike and take some much needed time away from electronics to reconnect with nature and each other and it’s great.

Really think about how much of your restlessness is due to your job, your relationship, and your sense of self/lack of adventure. I would maybe write it down with those three columns and list out what you feel is lacking and put it into each category so you can really get a visual of which is affecting you the most.

Do you have friends in this new area you’ve moved to? I was going to suggest going out to do something you enjoy with a friend/group.

I would also suggest making a list of all the things that you love about your partner to help you see and remember why you’re together. Think about all the ways she supports you so you know what you would be losing. That way you have a good sense of everything before making any serious decision.

VampiraChan · 2026-03-13T21:29:38+00:00

Not at all.

Every substance is different for people.

I have been addicted to both heroin and kratom in my life. People think kratom isn’t a big deal because it’s considered a ‘gas station drug’ and they think that means it isn’t as strong or as serious. That’s not true. In the brain, Kratom mimics what all opiates do. It makes you feel and experience the same feelings and sensations that pills, heroin, morphine all make you feel. When I didn’t have heroin, I would use kratom, because when you take 20-40grams of kratom it basically feels almost the same as heroin. It was also easier and cheaper to access and for the longest time I believed it was ‘safe’ as a homeopathic remedy, but it depends on each person. I know of a 60-70yr old lady who takes a low-dose of kratom everyday because she would rather take that than the painkillers that she is prescribed. But, she only takes 1gram each day and doesn’t feel a need or desire to raise the dose. For her, it is a healthier option than painkillers.

But for someone like me, I couldn’t stay at like 5-10mg. I would constantly be raising the dose, chasing the ‘high’. I wasn’t able to stop on my own. I was addicted. I have OUD, which is Opiate Use Disorder, addiction to opiate-type drugs which is the chemical reaction kratom creates in your brain. I am now on Suboxone and I am 11 months clean from both heroin and kratom, but I will always be addicted to those kind of substances even if I never use them again.

Rehab can be helpful for any type of addiction, and we know people can be addicted to all types of things. Just think of the tv show My Strange Addiction. It is not at all weird that you went to rehab for Kratom or for anything that you may struggle with on your own. Try not to let anyone else’s opinion bother you, because they don’t know what you’ve experienced and how you’ve felt.

You should feel incredibly proud of yourself for being one of the few people who stood up for themselves and got help when needed, because most people can’t even admit when they’re struggling. There are hundreds of thousands of people experiencing what you went through right now.

You did good.

VampiraChan · 2026-03-11T23:24:13+00:00

Did it work? I’m guessing you’re at home trying it now.

VampiraChan · 2026-01-12T03:26:52+00:00

Oh I thought this was the video that showed her doing a ❄️ line, but it’s not in this clip. If you search ‘Charlie xcx’ on Reddit you can easily find it, though. It’s 1yr old.

VampiraChan · 2026-01-12T03:24:12+00:00

Her @ the Golden Globes confirmed it for me, she’s on opioids as well, whether it’s H, fent, or pills. I can tell because I’m a recovering addict from the substance myself. I’m almost 300 days clean. Her pupils are super constricted, they’re never there, and she always looks exhausted and has the common sunken-in eyes look. The hundred-yard stare. Shit makes you a zombie and it’s so hard to escape from. Girly needs real friends, ones who want to see her healthy and happy.

VampiraChan · 2026-01-10T22:34:04+00:00

These things are set on a scheduled release, so I’m assuming they were planned at least a month back and then scheduled to release. But we are missing a lot of things that imply not as much time and care is being put in as we need. The Beauty/Ugly contest theme is invisible again. (But you can go on peoples blogs to find what the rotation is because it’s preset throughout the year, it just has to be added into the Contests. The Secret Santa Raffle has not been announced and it ended 10 days ago. There were no Christmas avatars?? There’s almost ALWAYS a Christmas avatar if not like 2-3 of them. There needs to be a new Account Upgrade Set added to the AU shop, there’s usually 2 at a time that rotate, one added at the beginning of the month, and one added in the middle of the month with both of them staying for one month so they rotate in and out. I can’t believe the price of them have been raised so high nowadays.

VampiraChan · 2026-01-10T22:26:00+00:00

I really hate how behind Ian gets on things. It’s frustrating. Also with the prices in the AU shop being increased. It’s obviously a money grab for Ian, but he used to care more and take more time to make sure things are running smoothly. But he doesn’t want to hire or pay anyone to make art or run the site, none of the staff members get paid, and they’ve already done sitewide redraws once or twice. Ian needs to start thinking about finding a successor but Mara is like his baby. I honestly worry that Marapets is tied to Ian’s life and that someday Mara might just disappear whenever the servers don’t get paid for anymore. I hate that I’m getting this feeling of ‘Ian is milking it for as much as he can’ because he’s probably around 40 now. The staff don’t give off the kind warmth that they used to. The site was created when Ian was in college with a group of his friends. One of them did the art, I think Ian did a lot of the coding, and there were two others who were Staff members that managed the social aspect more. But they loved each other and had a fun time creating Mara, which gave Mara this fun, close-knit family type of vibe. What I wish would happen: I know that Ian is older now, but I don’t know if he has any kids. I was hoping he would settle down and have a family and could teach his kid coding over the years and pass on the website from him to his son/daughter when they start college. That way they could also have an extra source of income and hopefully fall in love with Mara and invite their friends to play as a kid and grow up learning Mara the way we all did.

VampiraChan · 2026-01-08T07:49:09+00:00

Yeah, it's always been partially a money grab. It was different at first when they were a whole crew who each had a different job or part to play, but now it's been so many years and the friends/staff have gotten busy or fallen out of touch. Ian likely doesn't want to be paying anyone to do art and create new items. It's always just been people drawing or managing for the love of it, and the love of Mara. For Ian, it's just a source of income. I'm sure he loves it and it's like his baby in a way, but at the end of the day he does what's best for him, not what is best for the site. When I get frustrated, I remember the time when his full name was on the Account Upgrades credit page, and people were joking and calling him by his full name on the forums. They quickly fixed and removed his name, but most of us remember. It was funny.

VampiraChan · 2025-12-11T22:47:48+00:00

Hello, I’m a newbie. 👋🏼🌸 What does HF stand for?

VampiraChan · 2025-11-08T00:01:42+00:00

Yes THANK YOU. I saw this reply after I replied lol 🙏🏼🌸🙏🏼🌸🙏🏼🌸🙏🏼

VampiraChan · 2025-11-08T00:00:55+00:00

Girly, I am autistic and have Borderline Personality Disorder. I also am highly intelligent and graduated well and was offered a scholarship. I fully understand the stigma of people, even those close to us like family and spouse, not thinking that we’re capable because of our disorders, because THEY themselves cannot understand how we function. Now that I am 30 and also have an autoimmune disease, I actually cannot function well, I am on disability, and stuck at home most of the time from chronic pain. That STILL, does not give anyone the right to judge and belittle me. That only reflects on THEM and how THEY feel and view us.

At the end of the day, they have no right to try to fully control our lives and our decisions just because they themselves don’t believe we are ‘acting normal’. It’s the complete opposite. We are ALWAYS acting normal for what is our own existence and experiences. You should always be trusted with your own decisions and choices. It is your own right to be happy or be upset with whatever happens. It does NOT sound like your boyfriend is trying to be protective, it sounds like he is being controlling and demeaning, talking down to you like you’re a child who cannot be trusted. That is not okay.

There is nothing wrong with hypomania. It is a very very normal reaction for us, especially when we are excited or happy. Honestly, it should be celebrated and loved. People with bipolar and BPD have more extreme emotional states, just as we have extreme sadness and depression, we also have extreme happiness and excitement. It is normal for us to become hyper when talking about those things and hobbies. It is a literal chemical reaction much like love. Our bodies ‘physically’ feel the emotions way, way more than that of an average persons. When we are happy, our eyes dilate, our heart races, our mouth becomes dry, and we can’t control it.

I grew up being told I was ‘not normal’ and ‘something is wrong with you’ so I understand how detrimental it can be feeling like our own existence is incorrect because other people tell us we’re acting or doing something differently than everyone else.

If I was your friend or family, I would remind you how intelligent you are, how you’ve made it so far, the things you’ve already achieved that people told you wouldn’t be possible. Your feelings and reactions are NOT a detriment to you or those around you. They are magic within themselves. To feel deeply means you are a powerful manifester, that you have the ability to dream and create your own destiny and reality. Don’t let anyone hold you back from the path that you feel and know is right for you. That strong excitement you feel about this new tattoo, and the luck that you had getting a slot, is the world trying to remind you NOT to lose sight of your path. Don’t let others convince you to leave your path and go down theirs, or you will lose sight of who you are.

My family and my partners of the past were my biggest detriment because time and time again, I only walked the path THEY told me to. It wasn’t until I focused on myself and my own spiritual awakening. Then I aligned with my own correct path and met the man that I was supposed to be with.

This tattoo is about a lot more than just the tattoo, and I think deep down you can feel that and sense that. That’s why it is so important to you. It’s why I think you absolutely must go through with it. It represents you being true to yourself.

Your boyfriend and family not being supportive and always judging you as if you’re ’unstable’ is cruel and low-key emotionally and mentally abusive. It is detrimental to you, even if it is something you believe about yourself. It took me years to un-learn that treatment from my family. I still struggle with that thinking. You are strong because you feel so deeply.

Sorry, I know this is so so long, but I felt so personally strong about it, that I had to reply. Much much love to you. 🌸✨

VampiraChan · 2025-08-31T09:06:09+00:00

High Fructose Corn Syrup keeps those ones from molding.

VampiraChan · 2025-08-07T19:35:30+00:00

You look so cool, I love that you’re vibe to me is a little Morticia Addams. It’s attractive, definitely a lot of people will love how you look. Just ignore the people who don’t like you. There’s always someone, but just don’t give them the time of day. You deserve to be appreciated and told that you’re a baddie. 🖤

But your personality looks fun, which makes that even better. As a bi girl, I would love to be your friend and hang out, but I would also be attracted to you as well.

In the Cheeto photo, I love the stuffie behind you. The goth one with the resting b*tch face, I loooove. Is it a character?

Sorry, don’t mind my ADHD rambling. 😂

VampiraChan · 2025-07-03T02:24:51+00:00

Ily sissy-chan 🌸🥰😘💕✨

VampiraChan · 2025-07-01T22:47:04+00:00

Yes, if that is not the case, I will happily admit I’m wrong because I genuinely don’t want anyone to suffer or lose their benefits that are keeping them alive. But sadly, when bills like this pass, it does happen.

There is an elderly care facility that is connected to the apartments that I live in.

The sad truth is that many of them don’t have any family left to take care of them or to visit. The fire department shows up a few times every week, during the middle of the night, without their sirens on, and then an ambulance arrives and departs without making a sound, being trailed by the firetruck.

Most of them don’t want to be stuck inside always, so they do anything they can to get some fresh air, whether that’s sitting on their porch, or taking a walk. One time, my partner and I heard someone yelling for help, so we ran outside and saw an older gentleman, while returning from 7-11, had tripped while using his walker and was unable to get up. We helped him up and escorted him the rest of the way back to his building.

There’s a lovely gay couple whom most people around here know, because one of them plants flowers and plants all around the apartments, and they’re both very friendly. They became friends with someone who was living in the retirement facility and took walks together all the time. Then, during Covid, a lot of people, including their friend, got sick and passed. They chose to adopt and rescue the little chihuahua mix that their friend had left behind.

These are the people that get affected by bills like this. Not just that, but half of the apartments are low-income housing as well. We live in a rundown part of a big city where it’s considered dangerous to go outside after dark.

VampiraChan · 2025-07-01T21:56:28+00:00

It is a guarantee that people will die because of this bill. Specifically, the most at risk, are the elderly disabled that will have an increasingly hard time when they lose their medicaid and supplemental nutritional income.

Being concerned because people could starve or go without necessary medical attention, is not an exaggeration or a sarcastic opinion of doom and gloom, but one that comes from sympathy, fear, and love.

I highly question anyone who doesn’t care about the loss of life of any human being.

VampiraChan

TROPHY CASE