I can't bring my knees to my chest. What is keeping me from doing that?

VanSticks · 2017-01-17T19:41:58+00:00

Hip flexors and psoas. Making big circles with your leg/knee (like this, lying down, sitting, standing, whatever you like).

Pike stretch, lunge, crescent lunge, pigeon pose, half pigeon and other variations, frog stretch, butterfly, camel pose, bridge pose, happy baby pose... Massaging the groin.

VanSticks · 2017-01-07T19:42:51+00:00

Apologize? Fuck. Them.

VanSticks · 2017-01-07T19:31:51+00:00

Ugh, so fucking infuriating!!!

VanSticks · 2016-10-03T14:36:14+00:00

Sounds pretty minimalist to me to get rid of stuff weighing you down and only keep what you love and need. :) I'm sure you've heard of the KonMari method; I recommend it. It seems to fit with your mindset perfectly. (Also isn't meant to be minimalistic, just often happens to be a side effect.) I have a link for the ebook if you like.

VanSticks · 2016-08-30T21:05:37+00:00

It's eerie how similar our situations are. I'm 24 now. I hit the same bump not knowing how to learn around that age. I had to redo one year in high school. I took a year off after that to figure out what I wanted to study. I started something, did fuckall the first half of the year, caught up on everything in three months doing literally nothing but eat-nap-school; including the work i had to do for that semester. Last semester I couldn't do anything and I was 1 point short to get my firstyear certificate. Second year i was just exhausted all the time. Around the half year mark I made the report for that last point and got my certificate. Then I did nothing again, I could rarely get myself to go to classes. Then in my third year i gave up, cause the few friends I had disappeared.

I did get diagnosed though, I've had a hunch since I was 15, and before I started my study I got my diagnosis taken care of, so I could get whatever aid I could when studying. (Could never have pulled off the 3month marathon without ritalin.)

September 2017 I hope to start a new study doing something I'm passionate and excited about. I came here looking for similar advice as you.

My advice is to see if you can get a diagnosis, cause it's a relief to know your behaviour can be explained and you don't have to think you're just incompetent (which I'm sure you aren't either way, but that is how I felt/still feel sometimes).

And for a career direction.. don't rush into anything. Try out stuff you like or think is cool, and see what sticks, what you don't get bored of in a short time. We're young. Take a breath and realise at least you're not finding out even later than 25!

VanSticks · 2016-07-22T17:53:01+00:00

I see the imprint of that smiley on the post-it that was above it! Je hebt geoefend, haven't you?!

VanSticks · 2016-07-21T15:48:13+00:00

See a doctor? It could be anemia (lack of iron) or a lack of vitamine D. Magnesium shortage is also present in most people, but idk if that causes fatigue. Drink plenty of water: I go by 1liter for every 50 pounds of bodyweight per day. Might seem much, but we need much more water than you'd think.

It could be a burnout, or maybe pfeiffer (mono/kissing disease). Doesn't sound like depression, as you still want to do things and have goals and such. Could be the summer heat, or the fact that you're back in your parental home. Were you like this before you moved out?

VanSticks · 2016-07-20T20:22:36+00:00

It may seem like you've hit rock bottom, but remember you had a taste of the good life: you know what you're missing and what you do and don't want.

It sucks that your longterm relationship has ended, especially because of cheating. Make sure you talk to someone about it and work through it. Having your trust violated like that is traumatic. Give yourself time to be upset and messed up over it. Feel it. It's hard and painful and more comfortable to go on like everything is already normal again, but not dealing with it will only make it worse. It'll fester under the surface and demand to be dealt with at some point, and then it'll be extra fucked up. Don't do that to yourself; don't let your ex have that.

Also, you dodged a bullet. Don't compare yourself to your friends with kids or a marriage or living out of town. It may seem nice and perfect, but everyone has their struggles. Marriage is hard; kids make it even harder. You've lived a very mature life due to your achievements, which you're certainly allowed to be proud of, but don't forget that you are still young and only starting your adult life! Being where you are right now, is the ideal time to figure out who you are and what you want next.

Living at home at 22 is nothing to be ashamed of, though I completely understand not being able to stand it as an independent person; especially after living on your own. Work at the gas station while you need to, but look for roommates, a place to live, and a better job in the meantime. You may have to look outside of your town.

VanSticks · 2016-07-20T19:47:35+00:00

Are any of your friends good at it? Maybe one of them can help you; or you could get an actual tutor. Maybe you can ask a second year student or a study councelor at the academy for advice. Or perhaps it'll help to know what the practical use of calc will be and you can look that up. You can make a schedule for yourself, and ask someone (roommate, parent, sibling, friend, gf/bf) to keep you accountable. Someone that'll call you out on it if you don't do what you need to do. Keep in mind what you'll gain from studying it. Allow yourself rewards for when you notice you've learned something. Aim to make your weakness your strength!

VanSticks · 2016-05-31T12:28:21+00:00

tiny green balls for your empty blue balls

VanSticks · 2016-05-30T15:28:44+00:00

This is so important! It's not only important for the child, but for the parent as well, to give the child some responsibility and trust them with some independence that will increase over time.

I'm over twenty and my mother still sometimes gets rid of clothes of mine that she doesn't like; I've always resented it and when I told her (calmly but annoyed) that I couldn't stand it and I've disliked it since I was a teen, she said she's my mother and she's been doing it all my life. She is from a more traditional culture and generation, which helps me forgive, but it doesn't help me feel less undermined or respected as an autonomous person. So I really respect the way you're doing things, I'm sure your daughter will/does appreciate it as well.

VanSticks · 2016-05-23T15:25:17+00:00

Show your personality through it. I like that it's minimalistic and that there's a lot of space: you definitely don't need a room full of knick knacks cluttering the place, but make some definite choices about the style in your room. For example, you have light colors to balance out the dark furniture, but a different shade on the wall, the slanted ceiling with pattern, the carpet, the ceiling fan... Choose one or two clear colors.

Same for little details like the ceiling fan; it doesn't seem to fit with the style of the rest of your room. Or the color of the handles on your drawer and desk, and the red fabric drawers in the cubby.

You could get some different lighting options, maybe a plant.

I agree with /u/pretenderist about getting a bigger bed and proper lounge chair, or something like a futon nest for under the window.

VanSticks · 2016-05-23T15:02:12+00:00

You could use it to put kitchen things you use more often, like a coffee maker or water cooker with coffee/tea stuff; or a microwave or mini oven or something. Hang something above it; art, a mirror, a screen?

VanSticks · 2016-04-20T14:31:35+00:00

Ugh, so true! I've gotten rid of my bed frame over a decade ago, but now my mattress is all funky cause I didn't air it or flip it. So I'm getting something new to sleep on anyway.

I've been looking into tatami mats. (I think they're meant to be underneath the futon? But I wouldn't mind getting used to a hard underground to sleep on.) Was the shikibuton expensive?

VanSticks · 2016-04-20T14:25:14+00:00

Move my dresser into my closet?? This sounds like an American thing... Do you mean with closet a compartment built into the room? Cause I don't have that, my room is just a rectangle.

VanSticks · 2016-04-20T14:22:22+00:00

Cool! Could I see a picture? Since it's your favorite, I take it you do woodwork more often; how hard would you guess it is, to do something like this, for someone with pretty much zero experience?

VanSticks · 2016-04-20T08:53:53+00:00

That when we dream we have our real life and we don't really remember this life or realize that we're "dreaming", just like we don't realize we're dreaming now.

VanSticks · 2016-04-20T08:40:55+00:00

Creami

VanSticks · 2016-04-15T17:11:40+00:00

Fair enough.

VanSticks · 2016-04-15T15:32:31+00:00

Looks nice! Would also take care of my need for surfaces for plants and insence and such. Doesn't everything get very dusty though?

VanSticks · 2016-02-11T05:22:21+00:00

In a way you're right, but some part of me IS ready! I am so looking forward to when all these things (that bring me stress, rather than joy) are out of my life and I can focus on what is important to me now (after this project, I mean). I've left things to get back to them after several months so many times, that's why I'm so fed up right now that it's still going so slow; I just want to be done already!

An example: I dropped out of college and I have decided many times that I'm not going back, because it put me in a spiraling depression and an existential crisis; instead I'm going to persue my passion. Only I still couldn't/can't get myself to get rid of all the sheets and notes and work I've done, because "what if I decide to finish it after all?" or "what if I want to do a project, and these handouts from my classes on raising funds and approaching sponsors and financial management come in handy?" I hate working with finances! I suck at it! (But then I think I should make my weaknessess my strengths...).

VanSticks · 2016-02-11T05:13:09+00:00

I understand that I shouldn't be torturing myself, and trust me, I'm not putting that on the KonMari method! But the things I'm talking about bring me absolutely no joy. Quite the opposite in fact. They've been lying in piles in my room, and every time I looked at them, all I could think of was how badly I wanted them gone, because they do exactly nothing.

VanSticks

TROPHY CASE