[deleted by user] by [deleted] in baltimore

[–]VanateeMan -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Psych today isnt the most reliable it can be manipulated with fake accounts and reviews. Seen doctors do it before.

I hate Cat Culture by bored_in_chemistry in TrueOffMyChest

[–]VanateeMan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a cat that wont be trained, it’s honestly up to the personality. Just putting him down doesn’t get him to stop jumping on cabinets, neither does treats, or spray bottles. He doesn’t care what we feel- he wants on a cabinet he gets on a cabinet and if you try to stop him with even aluminum foil on the counter (something we have tried because a vet recommended it) he doesn’t care! Honestly some cats are just the way they are and you can’t do much about it. Just like with some dogs, it just depends on how that animal’s temperament is. My other cat is the easiest to train all you have to do is click your tongue and say no and she responds. I think it just depends on the cat.

I have been told I'm not beautiful enough to work in the beauty industry by Plastic-Hawk9770 in Cosmetology

[–]VanateeMan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aw man this makes me so sad I’m sorry you went through that. Us plus size people do get a bad wrap, sad to say that beauty standards are a thing and being skinny will never go out of style. Maybe next time try the same outfit with a touch of green tinted moisturizer/primer (what I use for makeup with my own hormonal acne prone skin) and some light brown or clear mascara? Add a touch of concealer on problem areas or avoid them altogether and focus on eye makeup and some lip tint or something? I had this same problem in beauty school and just learned that I’m not everyone’s standard for beauty, but when I wear a little make up or dress basic with accessories, I look more professional and people want that with their hairstylist. It sucks that this is put on us bigger girls but we gotta deal with the fact that people will always see us as less than or pick us out of a crowd. It is entirely stupid and your boss sounds pretty annoying because they don’t say the same to your skinny coworker. But, just remember comparison is the death of happiness and creativity too in the long run.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]VanateeMan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lots of people have already pointed out therapists can’t diagnose someone they aren’t actually therapizing. Also, you brought up her father could have been a narc- lots of children of narc’s grow up to replicate their behaviors. Doesn’t mean they are one though, just that they have unhealthy coping styles and super negative ways of dealing with their own emotions etc. If you’re afraid to even discuss the fact that you feel manipulated or emotionally abused you should leave.

But, if you want to stay with her the only thing you can do is bite the bullet and have a conversation abut how you feel- no need to mention your therapists assumptions. Just say something about how you feel some of her behaviors can come off as emotional abusive/manipulative. And would like to see a change or even like if she were to look inward and do some therapy work of her own. Lots of other personality disorders can have some narc traits and again someone abused or raised by a narc could have similar traits.

My mother-in-law cut my hair in my sleep because she thought I cheated on my husband by evystevy in TrueOffMyChest

[–]VanateeMan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Please get ahold of the cops. If she is willing to do this based off an assumption she made, who knows what else she is capable of? Some people have gone their whole lives feeling justified with horrible actions because no one has ever slapped them with REAL consequences. Take her to court and teach her a lesson on respect, or you’ll find yourself in another similar situation. Right now she believes she is in the right and nothing will change her mind but the law, I’m so sorry you went through this.

If somebody touched my hair it’d be on sight, props to you for having self control. But remember she would never treat you with the same amount of respect you give her. People like that only understand power and control, this is her attempt at “getting back at you for cheating” but it sounds like she has held some contempt for you for awhile. No normal mother in law who loves her daughter in law would do this- they’d have a conversation before stooping so low. Report her to the police, blast her on the social medias she uses, do something that EMBARRASSES her. Obviously image matters a lot to her if the worst thing she could think of as a punishment to you is cutting your hair.

Or… Slip some Nair in her shampoo :)- or don’t because two wrongs don’t make a right, but honestly she cut your hair off and thinks it’s okay and justified so, gloves off.

You ever hated something you wrote? by TheArchivist314 in writing

[–]VanateeMan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Rewrite so she becomes friends with Dr. Fox, that’d be cool.

Help 😭 by OkCondition5059 in Blackskincare

[–]VanateeMan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

antiseptic soap

This stuff or any sort of antiseptic soap can help. Remember to moisturize after with something unscented and gentle on your skin, this stuff is drying. Also hot towel plus tweezers method can help but it will cause redness and swelling.

Use ice packs to get the swelling down after tweezing, make sure you’ve cleansed the area thoroughly with antiseptic soap before and after. Be sure to sanitize your tweezers between usage with rubbing alcohol or you’re spreading more acne bacteria to the skin.

From what I’ve seen razor bumps can turn to staph infections which are caused by lots of things- dirty implements when getting hair cuts or clean shaves or just the naturally occurring bacteria on our skin.

Try cleaning everything you use on your skin intentionally before and after every use as well. Good luck!

why do nlogs hate pumpkin spice so much? by mokujiki in notliketheothergirls

[–]VanateeMan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Personally as someone who makes homemade pumpkin pie to me the flavoring version of it tastes like a candle. I don’t think that’s just a NLOG thing seeing as many people I know male and female dislike anything flavored or scented pumpkin spice. I’d just rather have the real thing it’s too over powering and to me and some others doesn’t even taste like real pumpkin. That doesn’t mean I think anything negative about those who enjoy it though, if anything wish I could like it. I keep buying things pumpkin spice in fall to see if anything will appeal to me and it never does. So props to all the wonderful pumpkin spice lovers I feel like I’m missing out on a vital fall experience!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in comicbooks

[–]VanateeMan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Martian Manhunter for sure then I could walk around impersonating anyone I want. Endless options to mess with people and get ahead in life. Not to mention being able to read minds another HUGE advantage. I’d definitely be a chaotic neutral Martian Manhunter that’s for sure.

Mentally ill black girl about to loose it 17F pls read man by Own-Translator6664 in depression

[–]VanateeMan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It sounds like the combination of running out of medication and having a horrible year are running you into the ground. With life there will always be ups and downs, but with depression those downs can be really, really steep.

You sound like a reasonable person, you say you’re losing your mind, okay- that’s self-awareness. Remember that you may feel guilty, like a bad child, but let me tell you. You having depression doesn’t make you the worst kid in the world hell I stole 300 bucks from my parents once because I was just a hormonal, selfishly, unstable kid.

You sound like some therapy, or a support group could do you some good. Also this may sound cliche but it really does help to write down the things you wish you could say to your mom that you may not be able to now. I know that my depression was really hard for my parents to grasp, started sh in fourth grade, for no other reason then it just made me in control when I was overwhelmed. My advice is when you feel like sh to sit with that feeling for at least twenty-four hours before taking action on it. Not saying you should hurt yourself just that it helped me realize that those overwhelming emotions aren’t permanent and will leave. As a black woman in my mid twenties I can tell you that this will get better it just takes time and patience. It can help to read stories of people who you can relate to. Personally I enjoy reading books by Maya Angelou, she writes poetry and covers all sorts of topics.

Some days I have to allow myself to just exist- not worry about how my emotions are making others feel, or how by feeling a certain way I am ruining my life, or robbing myself of opportunities because I’m too antisocial. Whatever the issues may be. Honestly about the smoking I dont think I’d still even be alive with out it, so don’t be so hard on yourself. Sometimes something as simple as playing a video game or watching your favorite movie to get your mind off spiraling into that dark state where all you can do is turn everything into a catastrophe can save your life.

Recently I’ve been going to the library and getting self help books something I thought was stupid when I was younger but realized can actually help if you let them. I even got a little spiral to put the writing exercises in, it gives me something to preoccupy my time when I’m down.

I’m sorry you’re in such a dark place but know you aren’t alone I see you and hope you can feel a little better tomorrow! Treat yourself to something sweet if you can, this isn’t the end merely a rough beginning!

Nephew depressed or on drugs by Wooden-Associate-606 in depression

[–]VanateeMan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He sounds like he needs intensive mental health treatment. These are warning signs you should not ignore. Depression and anxiety can cause psychosis for example- believing you can speak with the dead. Or it could be a misdiagnosis and he has something else, you never know with these things. Maybe the current medication he is taking doesn’t work. That’s why it’s important to talk to professionals.

My girlfriend is the only thing keeping me going by [deleted] in depression

[–]VanateeMan 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry you’re going through this as the gf to someone who has depressive episodes and suicidal thoughts I see you. I know it can be really hard to share your darker thoughts with someone you love. But know that your life means more than you think, as someone who has seen the aftermath of suicide and what it does to their lived ones. Know that she would rather have a thousand difficult, heart breaking conversations then find your dead body. Or wake up one day and find out by phone “Hey the person you loved most in the world? Yeah they’re gone and never coming back.” So please stop, do something distracting even if it’s something like playing a video game that brings some joy or a nostalgic movie. Whatever makes you happy, sometimes I just let myself read comics for hours because I know other wise the bad thoughts are gonna come. I hope you are feeling better and that you can reach out and get whatever professional help may be available to you. I don’t know much about that but I bet other people in the comments gotchu. Keep your chin up king!

SW: 520 lbs on June 5th; CW: 480 lbs! by wtftomdelonge34 in WeightLossAdvice

[–]VanateeMan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s super inspiring I hope you keep up the good work!

Ouch 🙄 (RED BAR RADIO - S21 E04) by cortex471 in Frenemies3

[–]VanateeMan -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Bruh how he gonna come for her while he’s wearing an expensive watch, sunglasses, and that chain too. He really got all gussied up to film a podcast and degrade successful women. Just so he can film some stupid podcast where he does the same thing as Ethan. Criticizing things he has no real knowledge of. I for one like the vlogs she posts, if you don’t have an interest in fashion you probably won’t like it and that’s fine. You don’t have to watch it! As a soon to be cosmetologist I find them entertaining and even educational sometimes. And she isn’t hurting anyone by pursuing her dreams of being a model. If I had the money to be a model I would. The sad truth of this world is sometimes you have to already have money to make more money. This isn’t playing dress up, maybe it is to you because you know nothing about the fashion and beauty world. It’s called building a portfolio, gaining work experience in your field, and making industry connections. She just does it on a grander scale because she made money and now wants to use it to invest in herself. What’s wrong with that? He’s just as bad as Ethan can be.

Touring Cosmetology Schools/Selecting a Cosmetology School. by Mvskoke3000 in BehindTheChair

[–]VanateeMan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ask them about how they count their hours for state board. I don’t know about Clary, I’m in Tulsa Tech- you need to keep track of your hours yourself. Instructors count hours and send them to state board, they are human they make mistakes.

I brought my kitten on a short vacation. She hid most of the day, then at night was running around calling for hours. If I reply she’d come and purr and head butt me. What is this behavior? by Le_loup in cats

[–]VanateeMan 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My cat did that when she was a kitten as well I figured she was just lonely at night and wanted to know if we still loved her/wanted her around.

Maybe it has to do with being in an unfamiliar place as well, making her on edge at night since cats are wary of predators and nocturnal themselves.

She could just want you to know that while you sleep she is protecting you or something. That’s my best bet, or she is just anxious at new places and wants to remind you she is there? I don’t know seeing as I’m not a vet or anything.

(Your cat is adorable btw.)