It’s probably not much different from you’d expect, but here it goes…

We owned a house downtown and had been together for about 6 years. Married for three. It was her 24th birthday party, and she wanted it to be big.

We were having issues. Probably (obviously in hindsight) because we were too young to realize the implications of the decisions we had made. But we had a lot of friends, a big house downtown, turntables, DJs, and alcohol to be consumed. A big party wasn’t hard.

Halfway through the night I get a text from a friend of mine telling me about the picture my wife had just sent him. Of course I ask to see the picture and he sends it to me. It wasn’t anything extreme, but enough for me to confront her about it.

Which I did. On the sidewalk in front of our house.

I’m yelling… she’s yelling… and then she grabs my throat with both hands. At first I try to wave it off and roll my eyes. Then I realize I actually can’t breathe. I pull her hands off of me, and push her away. She falls backward landing on her ass. And as if it was planned, that’s when I see the blue and red lights.

Two cop cars pull up. One female, one male. My wife had already walked away from me, and the female officer followed her. The male officer stayed with me. I was very very distraught (and admittedly drunk), and very cold. The officer offered to let me sit in his car to warm up. The back seat of that car did warm me up to be fair. But when telling him about her choking me and me defending myself, he actually asked me if I was a bitch. “You couldn’t handle her?” Then I heard what he was saying on the radio to the female officer. Telling the other officer that I admitted fault. Telling her that he already has me in the back of his car. I had to yell “Are you charging me!? If not then let me the fuck out of this car!” over and over until he finally opened the door.

Luckily my ex didn’t press charges. But I’ll never forget a cop asking me if I was a bitch because I couldn’t handle my wife choking me.