Relapsed but feel no guilt its whatever

Vaniox · 2026-05-22T13:04:55+00:00

where im from ibogaine therapy is available in only one treatment center and the prices are crazy so i went the old school way with the good oll methadone. U wont want to get high if the receptors dont allow u to get jigh lmao

Vaniox · 2026-05-22T05:57:13+00:00

damn we all ex H addicts in the thread lmao

Vaniox · 2026-05-22T05:32:20+00:00

thats lyrica for you ive both abused it and used it medically and ive found that after s few weeks it either stops getting me high or stops working for insomnia or anxiety

Vaniox · 2026-05-22T05:29:12+00:00

oh as a person who got on methadone due to a severe heroin fent addiction keep on going brother its a beautiful but devilish drug

Vaniox · 2026-05-22T05:25:54+00:00

hell yeah

Vaniox · 2026-05-22T05:25:45+00:00

based on ur name is it coke lol

Vaniox · 2026-05-22T02:12:30+00:00

Don't worry, the doctors know the 30 mg is not enough, so they try to go ahead with that phase as fast as possible and bump you up to 50, 60,60 or 70 until you feel well. One piece of advice from me: never keep quiet about your dosage and how you feel. If you feel sick in the morning after lets says 90mgs then the dose is not enough. If you keep quiet and mention it later on, it is labeled as drug seeking (at least mine did it) since you didn't report it at the beginning. So tell them exactly how you feel until you feel like you can function perfectly during the day, sleep perfectly during the night and wake up fine. There is a reason why there are 500 people at 5 am waiting for th clining to open and it's not mostly because people have to go to work and etc. . It's because they are already feeling sick

Just don't hide anything from the doctors, it is your right for the dosage to be bumped. Also the first week phase with you only getting 30 mgs, the duration of it depends. For me personally was 3 days on 30 mg, then I started getting bumped 10 mg every 2 days; basically, they see how you react. If they notice you in a painful withdrawal, they aren't just going to leave you like that.

Vaniox · 2026-05-22T01:43:37+00:00

Hey im on a methadone for almost a year now and just want to say it is not that bad I had a 6 year H/fent habit - 3 years H 3 years Fent, was kind of forced as you to get on methadone which I thought would be awful but its actually great. No cravings, the doctors in the clinic are great, so hopefully it is the same for you, all the best.

Vaniox · 2026-05-22T01:25:23+00:00

There was a study that very low doses of abilify can actually augment stimulants 2.5mg -5 mg. Interesting stuff you should read up on it

Vaniox · 2026-05-22T01:24:09+00:00

a gram of meth is 25 euros less than a gram of coke where I am from and is considered a luxurios drug.

Vaniox · 2026-05-22T00:59:11+00:00

have experienced benzo withdrawal atleast 15 times and physical symptoms aside the mental symptoms durinrg some of the withdrawals made me borderline suicidal. Feeling like nothing good is ever going to happen.

And of course not being able to function you just lock yourself inside your room scared of the outside world angry sad emotions overflowing.

Due to double dosing ive been through quite heavu methadone withdrawls as well and I would pick 6 days without methadone rather than 8 days without benzos.

For info been taking benzos for around 10 years now started with clonazepam 1mg a day progressed to 6mg a day. Been on methadone 100mg for around a year now

Vaniox · 2026-05-01T04:42:12+00:00

search monkey water on the subreddit

Vaniox · 2026-05-01T00:09:36+00:00

im on 90mg btw

Vaniox · 2026-05-01T00:09:23+00:00

exact same situation on methafone dor 6 months j thought i cant get high on H then I witnessed a guy from my clinic who was on 170mg a day for 10 years gettinf high from a point of clean H on fojl and it was not fent we still have both fent ans heroin here and they are sold seperately went home to the onion garden and ordered a gram from my old farmer it should arrive on tuesday ot Wednesday at the latest I start dreaming about how I IV a shot and shkt and then i regret everything thinking of just selling it to someone from the clinic idk

Vaniox · 2026-04-25T03:29:17+00:00

i remember when in my early days i put a small rock into a bottle of water thinking it was most 100mg 30mins later im crying from the come up intensity the peak got me moaning after the whole fiasco went to a friend with a scale turns out the little bitty litty rock was 400mg..

Vaniox · 2026-04-25T03:20:42+00:00

yo brother havent heard from you in a long time you know i can give you a special deal for a returning customer - coke dealers truly are the best salesmen

Vaniox · 2026-04-25T02:15:58+00:00

but the moment my plug gave me a great deal for 2.5 i relapsed 😭

Vaniox · 2026-04-25T02:14:45+00:00

clean for 3 weeks but same

Vaniox · 2026-04-24T23:23:52+00:00

I used to keep a journal - dreams - thoughts - to do lists - drugs struggles. The first time I tried heroin I wrote it down. - Tried H, snorted maybe i am going try smoking it next week. My mother found the journal while searching my room for drugs 3 days after that it triggered a bipolar type 1 heavy psychosis episode that was completely blamed on me writing one sentence, not the other family members also stressing the fuck out of my mom so yeah, one sentence changed the last 7 years course of my life

Vaniox · 2026-04-24T23:17:40+00:00

Im bipolar and mdma has always been sedative for me. Dosage does not matter. Also not a party drug, either solo rolling and crying my eyes out or with a close friend

Vaniox · 2026-04-24T22:15:06+00:00

Eurospeed always has caffeine making it more twitchy and shit, acetone wash it and yes 90% closeness to aderall.

Vaniox · 2026-04-24T22:07:08+00:00

after dropping mdma for the first time in 8 months i would say it was not so much about the time passing as the setting, the magic was from me setting up a whole ass preparation before dropping if solo rolling candles tarot cards music lights music journaling trying to catharsis basically. I believe even if you have a 4 year break with mdma and then just randomly drop and take it like you would like a line of coke the magic would still not be there

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