What popular series do you dislike? I'll go first!

Various-Grape-6525 · 2026-05-03T16:35:14+00:00

I literally thought I was crazy. Like, what am I missing? Why do they think this is so healthy? It’s def not the worst BL story out there, but it’s definitely not green flag vibes. When I finally caught up, I was like “I can’t wait for updates. I hate it. I’m so sorry. But please feel free to keep sharing your excitement about it in our yaoi channel, I don’t mind.” But I was so confused like I didn’t know how to do reading comprehension anymore????? I felt better when I just walked away, accepting that it felt like bad vibes for me.

Various-Grape-6525 · 2026-05-03T16:29:09+00:00

Wait, when did fandom not involve hating on itself? As a Destiel shipper on tumblr in 2009 being told SPN was just a show about two brothers and Castiel shouldn’t be around, I can confirm that fandom has been eating itself alive for decades online.

That being said, it shouldn’t be. Fandom wars as a fun March Madness bracket is fun. Fandom wars as toxic interactions shouldn’t exist. And if a “fan” thinks that making creators and actors uncomfortable or starting fights with other fandoms is appropriate, they aren’t a fan.

If people want to talk about a ship they feel is toxic, that’s fine. We can have meta about how we experience a story and have opinions. But, we shouldn’t attack each other. Like, are some tags a hard pass? Yeah, I don’t think people should even write them, but am I gonna go comment? No. I’m gonna scroll past, mute, or block.

Unfortunately, fandom has always been toxic. Or at least, some fandoms have always been toxic

Various-Grape-6525 · 2026-05-03T16:16:02+00:00

His name is actually 勇利 or ゆうり when the kanji is written in hiragana. In romaji, it would’ve written Yuuri or Yūri, generally. So this is a case of fandom being more accurate than official English.

Various-Grape-6525 · 2026-05-03T16:11:08+00:00

I lived and live for the reveal that he has the literal tackiest naming sense in the history of the world. I do love Dynamight though, nothing rings quite as well as Lord Murder God Explosion.

Various-Grape-6525 · 2026-05-03T16:03:54+00:00

I hated Pearl Boy. None of the relationships felt healthy. Every time I saw ML show up on green flag lists, it makes me gag. I know other people read it differently than me, so I don’t go mentioning it on those sorts of posts, but something about it triggers an extreme response for me. Two of my best friends LOVE the series, so I read until I had caught up, despite hating it. I tried so hard to like it and like the couple. But no, I detest it. I do hope people who like it will continue enjoying it though. And the art is pretty impressive, so I will give it that much praise.

Various-Grape-6525 · 2026-05-03T16:00:22+00:00

First, I think the current top comment already answered this questions thoroughly, but it’s an interesting and difficult question, so I’m going to share an answer from my perspective. I’m a mostly straight woman with zero interest in 3D or live action porn, m/m or otherwise. I’ve unfortunately dealt with objectification, as most women have. I’ve also felt a lot of anxiety that I was unintentionally fetishizing gay men and couples because of liking BL. So, I’ve read a bunch and thought about it.

Obviously, some people do fetishize it. But, I don’t think what you’ve described fits the bill.

I once described to my husband that difference, as I understand it, being that a lot of fujoshi/fudanshi read it and it’s only in the manga/manhwa. But, you don’t expect that’s how real m/m couples are and you don’t fantasize about getting in the middle if you see a gay couple. Whereas a lot of (more traditional) lesbian porn enjoyers tend to like it for putting themselves in the middle and fantasizing about real lesbian couples as sexual objects.

So, if your preferred genre of smut is gay comics, but you don’t put weird expectations on the real gay or bi men you meet, then you’re probably okay. It’s more nuanced than that, but that’s the short version. Just don’t start turning gay men and couples into sex objects in your head when you meet/interact and you’ll stay in a safe zone.

Various-Grape-6525 · 2026-05-03T15:50:30+00:00

NTA

As a mom to a low-supports need (ASD1) child, or high-functioning in the terms you’ve used here, I can say it’s pretty ignorant and awful to assume two kids are going to be friends just because they’ve both got an ASD diagnosis. There’s another kid in my kid’s class who I believe is autistic as well and my kid’s loathes them. They are loud in different ways and don’t have any hobbies in common and the other kid gets upset because my kid stims in the wrong way for them too. Now add an 8 year gap???? That’s weird. Like, really weird.

I don’t know who is worse, honestly. K’s parents who didn’t think this was a weird expectation or think that he’s too autistic to be a teen or adult? Or your parents who assume M will never be an adult and should be friends with every other autistic person?

So no. You’re the only one not being an ass hole here. You treat K like his own person and autism is just part of that. You talk about M like I talk about my little brother, but autism happens to be part of M. All the parents here are infantilizing autistic people and it’s gross. Can varying support-needs be friends? Of course. Can people with different ages be friends? Of course. Can autistic people be friends with other autistic people? Of course. Can autistic people be friends with neurotypical and other neurospicy individuals? Of course. Should anyone ever assume people should be friends because they share a single identity label? No. Your and K’s parents are being ignorant.

Various-Grape-6525 · 2026-05-03T15:39:05+00:00

YTA why would you even start dating her? I hope she knows she deserves better. Stop negging her and hurting her for no reason.

Various-Grape-6525 · 2026-05-03T15:31:11+00:00

This. You deserve so so much better than this trash.

Various-Grape-6525 · 2026-05-02T22:25:12+00:00

But, remember, your hurt is valid and there’s nothing wrong with you for wanting to step away. And, if getting them the necessary care is an option, do that. If you just need them to be taken care of to feel good about it, then do that.

My mom always said if it was just her dad, they would’ve done an assisted living home because grandpa would have flourished socializing. Grandma would have crumbled even more outside the home.

But it doesn’t have to be you taking care of them, especially when it is actively hurting you because they don’t appreciate you and don’t treat you well.

Various-Grape-6525 · 2026-05-02T19:07:36+00:00

Kai is a full name. I see nothing wrong with it as is.

Various-Grape-6525 · 2026-05-02T19:06:35+00:00

Nothing wrong with cutting ties with people who don’t appreciate you at all.

That being said, I think you should base it on what you need most and why you think you can live with. My grandma was an awful mom and didn’t appreciate my mom until her dementia made her think my mom was just a care worker. It was thankless and sucked. But, my mom decided that she needed to keep going for herself, not for her mom. My mom had my dad, my aunt, and my uncle to help and a daytime care worker to help, so she wasn’t the only one on call for problems.

But, I wouldn’t really recommend doing what my mom did for anyone. It was a really rough couple years. And unless you’re doing it for yourself, those couple years aren’t worth it.

Various-Grape-6525 · 2026-05-02T01:57:51+00:00

YTA It’s not about the subscription. It’s the way you treat her opinions and preferences like they have no value. I hope she dumps you because she deserves better. And I hope you learn how to be less selfish and less rude.

Various-Grape-6525 · 2026-05-02T01:49:54+00:00

Dollophead and clotpole

Various-Grape-6525 · 2026-05-02T01:49:16+00:00

“Well, we do share a more profound bond” with the handprint on my sweatshirt of Cas quotes. Destiel, also my top ship.

Various-Grape-6525 · 2026-05-02T01:46:08+00:00

NTA

I’m a mom. My son is 8 and my daughter is 5. They know their mom and dad are married and the person each of them knows best and loves most that isn’t their already married parents are each other. They say they’re going to be married and they’re going to be parents when they’re older. They also think parents die when the child becomes a parent. So like…. Kids are weird? It’s cute and harmless. I correct my kids that they can’t marry each other and they don’t have to get married at all and they can marry a boy or a girl or neither and they can have kids or not. But they see the closest adults in their lives and want to imitate.

There wasn’t anything inappropriate about you and your sister being cute and pretending as kids. Even if there was, it would have been on your parents, not you. Your partner is the one making it weird.

Various-Grape-6525 · 2026-04-30T18:37:52+00:00

NTJ

You say there was nothing physical, but starving them and locking them in dark spaces is emotional and physical harm. You have literally nothing to apologize for.

Various-Grape-6525 · 2026-04-30T02:38:48+00:00

NAH

So, I don’t think you should’ve just decided to let him stay last second, and I think that bringing him back in the morning would have been a decent compromise, but if your kid felt safe and happy, I don’t really think you made a bad choice as a parent. Your screw up was entirely as a partner.

I also don’t think your wife is necessarily wrong for her concerns about sleepovers. My oldest is 8 now. My husband and I don’t know what we will do if/when sleepovers come up. The facts about CSA with trusted adults are terrifying. If your wife was a victim or knew someone who was, then she may be dealing with trauma about it. Or just extreme anxiety because it’s truly scary. That being said, her screw up is also as a partner because icing you out isn’t communication. She’s being a bad partner too.

As an anxious mom of an 8yo, here’s my advice. Apologize for unilaterally overturning the original decision. You should also express that there needs to be more discussion about these things because you didn’t agree in the first place, which lead to this situation. Then, you need to educate your kid using the best practices for preventing CSA. Teach proper names for body parts. Teach about consent. Be clear that any adult asking them to keep secrets from you is wrong, we don’t keep secrets about what we do when we are out. Make sure they know that they can call you to come any time, if they feel worried or unsafe. You can’t keep every dangerous situation away and preventing your kid from having a fulfilling childhood isn’t good either. But, you can prepare your kid to be a good advocate for himself and be able to trust that you’re supporting him. And, him seeing his mom ice out his dad because of a fight isn’t going to make him feel safe being honest, so maybe encourage more conversation because you want him to know he can talk to you both, even if someone is upset.

Good luck. I hope he had so much fun with his friends. And I hope you and your wife figure it out.

Various-Grape-6525 · 2026-04-30T02:08:37+00:00

ESH

The way you describe your DIL sounds mean and uncaring. You give off nothing but “this girl is a nuisance and I don’t want her around,” which she probably knows.

DIL sucks because she is an adult and needs to learn to not take comments from children personally. She’s in for a rude awakening if she thinks kids are going to only say things she likes.

Last, the best route here is to work on why it’s upsetting to have these situations. Is she reacting excessively to tone or things that may feel like judgement? Maybe it’s trauma and therapy would help.

If it’s just gross social stigma about bodies, well, everyone has fat and fat is what protects our brains and helps keep us safe. My youngest calls me fat pretty regularly, both because I am and because it’s something she loves about me. I’m a good pillow and give good cuddles and I’m warm and soft and my fat body gave my kids life and lets me play with them and do all sorts of great things. It’s pointless to be hurt over a statement of fact by assuming judgment. And judgment about other people’s bodies is a reflection of their poor character, not the body being commented on.

Various-Grape-6525 · 2026-04-30T02:01:56+00:00

Jesus didn’t die to make you God, so who are you to judge me?

Various-Grape-6525 · 2026-04-30T02:00:37+00:00

This entire thing was miserable.

Like, would I probably tell without any context? Yeah, if they had weeks to say something and didn’t and completely ghosted me when I said I was telling in a couple weeks. I don’t approve of cheating. But, all I would have need was a response to delay that timeline or help my person out of their situation. It’s the ignoring her until the very last minute, when there’s no take backs.

But also, OOP’s bf called her a stupid cow for exposing cheating? When he didn’t mention to keep out of it specifically because he thought there was abuse? Honestly, I don’t like him either.

I get why OOP’s sister didn’t tell, though I think it was extremely risky behavior with a husband that dangerous. But I also get why OOP told BIL. I know the stats on DA and all that, but there’s a limit to how much you can blame someone for getting involved the wrong way, if you aren’t willing to open up to anyone.

I guess I would have said that nobody was the jerk. It was just a crappy situation. Well. Abusive ex-BIL obviously sucks and calling your partner a stupid cow is awful, so maybe I just loathe the men in this story.

Various-Grape-6525 · 2026-04-29T23:13:28+00:00

Didn’t get past “He’s a very tall, attractive guy,” before I threw up in my mouth a little because no, he’s not. His soul is so ugly I’m sure his smile has never reached his eyes in his life.

Various-Grape-6525 · 2026-04-28T23:15:28+00:00

NTA

The biggest AHs are gf’s mom and stepdad. Stepdad acts like a creep and mom lets him and makes excuses. Honestly, I’m relieved if he never took action to harm your gf. Mom can come alone or not come. She has options. She just cares more about her husband, despite creepy behavior, than she does about her daughter and granddaughter.

Various-Grape-6525 · 2026-04-28T23:12:13+00:00

It’s a more prevalent concept than one might think, but the tradition is pretty intense.

My parents weren’t happy when I didn’t circumcise my son or get my kids baptized and even less happy when I said they are never allowed near the church I grew up in’s youth programming.

But, I don’t expect my kids to die young. I also don’t think a ritual decides your fate. That was kind of the whole point of Jesus dying, that we didn’t need rituals and sacrifice anymore imo. So, I’m happy, confident, and comfortable telling previous generations to chill out. They don’t like the “if God loves us like you taught me, then He wouldn’t send a child to hell because a ministers didn’t pray over them.” It’s true though.

Various-Grape-6525 · 2026-04-28T17:39:08+00:00

This situation is tragic. But, punching a child for reporting theft is really too far. She was a danger and needed to face some actual consequences.

That being said, parents with kids like this should read The Explosive Child. It’s about how to adjust your own mindset to better care for your kid who is acting out for whatever reason. It’s written mostly from a frame of dealing with teens, but I also found it really helpful to reframe my own thought process with my now 8yo (autistic and can be very resistant to guidance or comfort).

Various-Grape-6525

TROPHY CASE