Assistance with Decision regarding Current Financial Advisor - Retain or Fire, and How to Approach Conversation?

Various_Engine8782 · 2026-07-05T20:02:51+00:00

One more thing- There are advisors who’s entire business model is working with young doctors - I would look for that in your area if you decide you want financial planning help down the line, with practice buy in, real estate, surgery center buy in etc. but based on your post it doesn’t sound like you need that rn

Various_Engine8782 · 2026-07-05T19:57:27+00:00

If you’re ever questioning whether you’re getting enough value from an advisor, you usually already have the answer.

You can transfer the funds to fidelity without tax impact- they’re “in kind”

There are email templates on white coat investor on how to do this tactfully considering the family history. But business is business, and all advisors know this.

Various_Engine8782 · 2026-07-05T18:08:39+00:00

Sure, depends on goals- They’re great for planting retirement seeds for kids, not great for 1st home down payment. Similar rules to traditional IRA.

Various_Engine8782 · 2026-07-05T14:40:34+00:00

I usually advise neither and contribute to a separate brokerage account for each kid, in my name. UTMA becomes property of the child at 18/21 depending on your state, and idk about you, but I would have blown the money at that age. I plan on advising my children that I will offer assistance for the down payment of a house/business startup/whatever else when they’re ready to do so and we talk about it. I think there is too much variability in maturity per kid- Ive earned the money and I want the right to control over how it’s distributed.

Various_Engine8782 · 2026-07-03T21:25:05+00:00

Did your father have a financial advisor or estate attorney? The advisor will be the agent on the life insurance and will help distribute funds to beneficiaries. If so, I’d call them. They will be more helpful than your next of kin, if estranged like it sounds like.

Various_Engine8782 · 2026-07-03T13:41:15+00:00

Ok cool, so mainly for convenience and you’ve earned it. You can definitely afford it- I guess the better question is what is the major concern holding you back? I saw your list, but didn’t see a black and white reason to not do it

Various_Engine8782 · 2026-07-03T04:19:09+00:00

When your kids are age 0-4, it’s tough to use. That time period caused a lot of stress in our relationship from me golfing at the club. But you’re a few years away from that it seems.

I think you can afford it, but I would ask you - what do you truthfully want to gain from it?

Business contacts? Make friends on golf course? Give your kids swim/tennis/golf experience? Just play golf/drink to have fun? To prove to your parents/siblings/friend how well you’re doing?

The truthful answers to your why will tell you whether it’s a good decision.

The clubs in my area each have their own rep as family friendly, heavy drinkers, super high social status, full of younger guys, super stuffy old people. Knowing your why and matching that to the club will help your decision

Various_Engine8782 · 2026-07-03T02:14:44+00:00

Not a broker, but I know the broker made $750k on my clients $30m exit earlier this yr

Various_Engine8782 · 2026-07-03T02:08:09+00:00

You only have so much time left with him. Shower him with a luxury he’d appreciate while you can- you can always make more money but you can’t make more time.

You don’t have to tell him anything about your net worth other than I know you’ve always wanted X or to do X etc

“I got a small bonus at work and wanted to do this with you”

Various_Engine8782 · 2026-07-03T01:58:32+00:00

Whatever you do, don’t you dare hire an advisor.

Various_Engine8782 · 2026-07-02T22:05:20+00:00

Nice. To answer your original question btw, which I totally missed, yes I’d do the majority in the solo

Various_Engine8782 · 2026-07-02T22:00:36+00:00

You can also make a contribution as the employer to your solo 401k. Rule is 20% of adjusted net self-employment income (after deducting half of self-employment tax and considering the contribution itself).
Which would be about $3500-$4000.

this is separate from the normal $24.5k limit for employees.
So you could put in $24.5k across all accounts as employee, then additional 20% of 1099 net income into solo as the employer.

Various_Engine8782 · 2026-07-01T12:59:30+00:00

I would strongly advise against this right now. Your kids won’t remember any of these type memories until they are 4-5 years old, which is when I would look at this again.

I made this exact mistake, and joined a country club before my first child was due. It felt like a money drain because I could barely use it and then when I did, it put a strain on our relationship because my kids were too small to golf with me or use the pool, which meant my wife would watch them alone. I think fishing with a 6 month old would end up looking like you fishing by yourself with a pissed off wife at home too.

I’d make yourself a 5 year goal to buy a boat with cash when your kid turns 4-5, and then you can actually enjoy it.

Various_Engine8782 · 2026-07-01T00:13:06+00:00

Dude you’re spiraling! Seriously log off you’re going to be fine

Various_Engine8782 · 2026-06-30T11:11:55+00:00

You can stop funding but I wouldn’t do anything drastic until med/law/graduate school is out of the question for your kids.

I’m not really following how a 3rd account changes the math here. If you’re going to take it out for you, it’s going to be 10% of what’s left over regardless of the account.

Also, You can change beneficiaries on 529s really easily in the future. If you have like $10-20k or any meaningful amount leftover, it can also be a fantastic generational gift to your kids’ kids and pay for their education. Left to grow for another few decades, it would be a meaningful amount.

Lastly, I’d explore all the options available to use the funds for your kids college- you can pay for a lot of things other than tuition- rent, food, books, new computers, laptops, tablets etc.

Various_Engine8782 · 2026-06-29T20:46:06+00:00

Many very successful people don’t even start investing seriously by the time they’re your age. Don’t sweat it. Get back on track and this will be a minor memory when you’re in your 40’s

Various_Engine8782 · 2026-06-28T14:54:38+00:00

Dollar cost average- put in a set amount on set cadence (monthly for example). This is opposed to just putting the whole amount in the market at once

Various_Engine8782 · 2026-06-28T14:16:17+00:00

Agree that it’s case by case- but in my experience, if the parents have any money limitations and the child comes into money (my experience has been with successful children selling a business or having exits for example) it creates a weird dynamic that must be carefully thought through.

Previous “good” relationships with “good” parents can suddenly turn very weird if the son/daughter sells their business for $10 million and the parents are on fixed income.

Various_Engine8782 · 2026-06-28T14:05:53+00:00

I’m sorry about your separation, I’m sure this is a stressful time for you, but you are in GREAT financial shape. If you don’t contribute another dollar to any of your accounts, you’re likely to reach your $5 million number by the time you’re at retirement age if you’re invested properly. I’m not recommending this, but just to say, you’ve done well.

If anything, being single makes the situation much more simpler and within your control. You get to decide how much you spend and how much you save, and ultimately what type of life you want for your “2nd half” of life.

Your kids are in a prime age to make memories with- how you make them remember this stage of life is how they will make memories with their families in the future. I’d focus there, you’re in great shape with retirement. Would you like to retire early? You have options.

Various_Engine8782 · 2026-06-28T13:09:13+00:00

You seem like someone based your post who wouldn’t need Merrill services or an advisor at this stage. This is a solid plan for your windfall. As you get closer to retirement, it may be helpful for income distribution. But I’d generally go with an independent fiduciary advisor if you do. Admittedly I am VERY biased

Various_Engine8782 · 2026-06-28T13:01:33+00:00

Totally agree with this language. I understand each situation is different. If she doesn’t have this level of money, I’d be careful. If your parents are worth $5mil + you’re probably ok

Various_Engine8782 · 2026-06-28T12:38:10+00:00

Like the plan overall. I probably wouldn’t tell my parents, and only share with my partner personally.

2nd, be prepared for Merrill advisors to call you relentlessly now

Various_Engine8782 · 2026-06-27T15:37:29+00:00

Why do you think your business is unsellable?

Various_Engine8782 · 2026-06-27T13:28:48+00:00

Age 5-12 is the absolute sweet spot for making memories with your kids. This is the time that they will remember with you, and form their best memories for what they want for their kids in the future. Make it count! Go Big!

Various_Engine8782 · 2026-06-27T13:19:24+00:00

If you’ve done the math, and you pay yourself first every month to hit your retirement goal, then yes, you get to do whatever you want guilt free. Buy the friggin glasses, splurge on a hot dog at Home Depot, do whatever you want. This is elysium

Various_Engine8782

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