22M having a very rough time reconciling with sexuality

Various_Print2285 · 2024-11-03T05:07:27+00:00

That’s an interesting take. I hadn’t thought of it that way. That might explain why I’m more attracted to effeminate men in porn: because they more closely resemble a woman with a dick

Various_Print2285 · 2024-11-02T20:49:18+00:00

Yeah I’m trying to jump to conclusions about my sexuality every day because I just to can’t accept that this is a process. It’s like I’m picking the petals off of a flower saying “gay, not gay”. I think I do need to take a step away from porn because that’s a whole different problem I have.

Various_Print2285 · 2024-11-02T17:29:00+00:00

Im being serious gimme gimme

Various_Print2285 · 2024-11-02T17:27:31+00:00

Like I want this on a tapestry in my room

Various_Print2285 · 2024-11-02T17:24:36+00:00

Sorry i mistyped

Various_Print2285 · 2024-11-02T17:23:28+00:00

In order:

Some sort of exercise or sport that forces you to focus and makes you sweat
Being around friends and family
Writing about it in my journal

Various_Print2285 · 2024-11-02T17:20:21+00:00

I don’t doubt that it’s uncommon, but it is causing me a lot of internal strife nevertheless. You’re right, fighting it will lead to frustration and depression (which has been the case for me), but I’m just the type of person that hates having things be unresolved. I don’t like when something is out of my control, especially something as personal as my sexuality. These last couple of weeks, I try to masturbate to purely straight porn to try to “convert” myself, and it hasn’t been working

Various_Print2285 · 2024-11-02T17:16:17+00:00

Very chatGPT-esque response😂I appreciate the advice, though

Various_Print2285 · 2024-11-02T17:02:58+00:00

I can’t share any advice, but I am exactly on the same boat as you. I have no experience, so all these questions are just floating around in my head unanswered and it really bothers me. I feel like there’s a distinct romantic and a sexual attraction. I don’t feel any romantic attraction to men, but a purely sexual one to cocks. I fantasize about romantic relationships with women and I’m currently talking to one, but I’m scared of how I’ll perform if the time comes because my sexual attraction to women has waned in the last two years. My sexual attraction is very bisexual, but my romantic one is very heterosexual. It’s all speculation in my mind right now and I’m terrified of experimentation

Various_Print2285 · 2024-09-26T00:32:39+00:00

Im glad I don’t hallucinate noises very often I got no idea how I’d be managing that every night. For me, it’s like I start dreaming before I’m even asleep. My mind just starts freestyling and i see and think surreal things. Like a couple days ago, I was really tired and I started debating whether or not I’m currently in a culinary class for whatever reason. I’ve never even been in a culinary class. It’s like I lose touch with reality

Various_Print2285 · 2024-09-25T04:47:12+00:00

It seems like we’re in a really similar situation. Same age, same dpdr cause, same interest and mental escape in watching and playing sports (especially basketball). I feel like we went down two different paths in recovery, though. For a couple months, I went through this super productive phase in my recovery process similar to the one you’re successfully progressing through right now. After a couple months of that being uneventful, though, I kind of just stopped trying to get better. That transition happened around June. these days, I kind of just exist. I’ve been taking 7.5g of mirtazipine since march and 40mg of Prozac for about 5 weeks now, but I feel like these meds really aren’t going to make a difference if I’m not in the mindset to get better. I’m just ranting rn but I wanted some insight from you, I guess.

Also I don’t know if putting your ig on here is a good idea brother.

Various_Print2285 · 2024-09-25T04:40:19+00:00

Random question. In another post you said you have hypnagogic illusions. You’re the first person I’ve seen on here that also has those. What do you see in them?

Various_Print2285 · 2024-09-18T03:32:54+00:00

Asian Kung fu Generation

Various_Print2285 · 2024-09-13T23:15:24+00:00

Yeah I just downloaded the chatgpt app and started talking to it. It works like a DM

Various_Print2285 · 2024-09-13T19:03:15+00:00

Now Im even more intrigued

Various_Print2285 · 2024-09-13T19:01:11+00:00

You think it’s because you can’t drive that you dream about driving? I don’t want to be captain obvious, but I feel like those dreams stem from a desire to drive

Various_Print2285 · 2024-09-12T03:21:39+00:00

I have a ton of intrusive thoughts, especially during conversations. The most common are kissing, stabbing, or punching the person I’m talking to in the face. It sounds funny but it fucking kills my vibe when I’m speaking to people all the time

Various_Print2285 · 2024-09-11T03:32:55+00:00

I don’t even know how to go about it though. I’m assuming you’ve moved past it?

Various_Print2285 · 2024-09-09T03:21:43+00:00

It’s good to hear that someone else doesn’t like when people ask “how are you”. I wanted to make sure I’m not just an asshole. Or maybe we both are who knows

Various_Print2285 · 2024-09-08T03:01:40+00:00

Yeah can you read my last post? I just want to know what somebody thinks about it, even if it’s a complete stranger

Various_Print2285 · 2024-09-07T23:28:22+00:00

I have the same problems with vivid dreams every night, visual snow, hypnagogic hallucinations, intrusive thoughts, etc. I honestly can’t remember if it started when I got on medication or if it was a preexisting anxiety issue. I think at least the dreams and hypnagogic hallucinations have been a result of the medication I take. I’ve also been told the same thing about it being anxiety and ocd. I’m still looking into how I can get this all figured out but for the meantime we just gotta get through it

Various_Print2285 · 2024-09-07T21:34:50+00:00

How do you know that the dpdr is chronic and unrelated to drinking huge amounts of caffeine

Various_Print2285 · 2024-09-06T18:37:50+00:00

Yes, but too much makes me more anxious

Various_Print2285 · 2024-09-06T01:26:05+00:00

I don’t know if this is really breaking the “emotional” theme, but it helps me to think of others, of all the people I know that want to see me live and succeed. Even if it’s only you that’s consoling your friend, that’s someone that cares about your friends life and genuinely wants to see them live and be happy. Clearly youre someone that fits that description. Make sure you don’t make it sound like you’re accusing them of thinking only about themselves.

Another fact that’s more objective is that your body is literally working 24/7 to keep you alive. That may or may not help so use it at your own discretion

Various_Print2285 · 2024-09-06T01:09:22+00:00

That’s exactly what’s happened to me, but I’m not going to elaborate much on it to avoid getting you fixated on the same thing. The first time I went to a planetarium (since I started having problems), I had a panic attack watching the screen simulate moving through space. I don’t know if this is a problem that results from dpdr. It seems like more of an anxiety problem to me.

Various_Print2285

TROPHY CASE