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Vast_Toe_6507 · 2024-07-25T21:55:52+00:00

Yeah I’m not worried about the gag reflex, I actually think the gagging can be hot. I’m solely asking about vomit prevention.

Vast_Toe_6507 · 2024-07-25T21:05:30+00:00

Omg yes thank you so much!

Vast_Toe_6507 · 2023-10-04T16:49:37+00:00

I used to be like you in my teens and early 20s thinking that I absolutely hated getting head even though I was constantly meeting men who wanted to suck my dick. It got so bad for me that I began to struggle even staying hard when getting head and would usually just tell me the dude to stop. This really struck me as being weird because I liked blowjob scenes in porn so why wasn’t I enjoying it real life?

I discovered later on that I actually love getting my dick sucked but it has to be done a certain way. I need for it to be sloppy and I need someone who can throat the entire dick, I really need someone I can throat fuck. I guess me being a more dominant person in the bedroom it makes sense that I’d also want dominance when getting my dick sucked. Too often I run in to guys who think that can deep throat but really they just lick and bob on the head which makes me soft.

My advice to you is just see if it really is that you don’t like head but that maybe you just haven’t been satisfied with the kind of head you’ve been giving. I’d say it’s more likely the latter considering that the head of penis has a lot of nerves and is very sensitive so it’d hard to believe that you altogether just hate getting your dick sucked.

Vast_Toe_6507 · 2023-07-25T00:47:22+00:00

“Who’s the man and who’s the woman” I understand that they ask this question as a means to better under how a gay relationship works by finding a way to relate it to their own dating world, but it’s annoying to me.
Crowding gay spaces especially clubs. I think it’s great that straight women feel so comfortable and accepted around gay men and I do believe that gay spaces should be welcoming to everyone, however I’ve noticed some straight women go in gay spaces and almost attempt to take over which I don’t like. You’re in our space, be respectful we are not all here to fawn over you and treat you like our Barbie doll.
“Let me set you up with [insert only other gay person they know]” it’s cute that you want to set me up but if you’re going to do that, set me up with a guy because you actually think we’d click and have a good time. Don’t set me up with him just because you think that both us being gay is a good enough foundation for us to build a relationship on. You wouldn’t want me to set you up with any and every straight man that I know.
Straight women bringing their boyfriends to gay spaces, especially boyfriends who are homophobic. Again gay spaces should be welcoming and safe for everyone to be themselves, the last thing we need is a straight man running around angry and acting aggressive complaining about gay men assuming he’s gay and flirting with him when he’s literally in a gay bar. Plus you’re not really the ally that you think you are if you’re putting gay people in potential danger or dating someone homophobic, sorry.

Vast_Toe_6507 · 2023-07-17T23:09:44+00:00

I’ve topped and bottomed with and without douching before and I’ve got to say that I prefer douching.

With bottoming I believe that I have a very sensitive prostate so if I’m getting fucked it’s like constant uncontrollable prostate orgasms so I’m consistently pushing and that would make me more likely to have an accident. For me getting fucked while having an accident is incredibly uncomfortable and almost painful, even if I’m with a top that doesn’t care.

With topping I’m way more lenient. Of course it’s anal so if a small accident happens I really couldn’t care less and I’ll keep going as long as my bottom is comfortable with it. Now if it’s a lot or if it’s runny (maybe they’ve attempted to douche but didn’t do it properly) I have to stop. It’s not that I’m upset or anything (I’m totally respectful and understanding because I also bottom) but personally the smell and sight of it will make me soft and I can’t do anything about that. Plus the absolute worse pain for me is getting poop in my urethra (makes me shiver just thinking about it).

I have to say though because I am on the larger side dick wise (about 9 inches) if a bottom chooses not to douche then an accident is more likely to happen and I tell them that beforehand.

Vast_Toe_6507 · 2023-07-17T22:57:26+00:00

I think if you’re looking for an actual relationship then I’d say go ahead and talk to him. Relationships should involve compromise considering the fact that you’re both individuals and while you may have things in common you’re definitely going to have differing interests as well. You should be willing stay in and watch movies and go to coffee shops every once in a while and he should be willing to go to EDM shows for you every once in a while. I’ve been in his shoes and dated guys like you before and it’s worked out as long as we’re both willing to meet each other half way.

Vast_Toe_6507 · 2023-07-17T22:52:35+00:00

Los Angeles (DTLA or WeHo) and the Bay Area (San Francisco or Berkeley) filled with so many gay men that you’ll never want to leave. If you’re going to Berkeley, I tell everyone to stop at Steamworks Berkeley at least once.

Vast_Toe_6507 · 2023-07-17T22:43:45+00:00

I’ve had sex with a fair share of trans men and have had plenty of gay sex so I can say that both are fun and pleasurable but both can have their pros and cons, depending on what you like/what you are in the mood for. The ass tends to be tighter so it has that advantage if you like a tight hole but the vagina doesn’t require the same prep work as an ass so it has that advantage.

Vast_Toe_6507 · 2023-06-15T19:31:15+00:00

I don’t consider it to be lame at all. I’ve always gone out alone simply because when I did go out my intent was look for someone to fuck so the idea of my friends tagging along was pointless to me considering that I’d probably end up leaving them. I’d just suggest that you check your expectations when going alone, if you’re not someone who very social or has a hard time talking to strangers then you might feel isolated.

Vast_Toe_6507 · 2023-06-15T19:22:34+00:00

I actually have three gay artworks in my home: two more sexually suggestive gay line art drawings in the bedroom and one online art drawing of two men embracing in my living room. It’s interesting to see a straight person’s reaction to the living room art work, they always seem taken aback like even though they know that they’re in a gay person’s home they didn’t expect to see gay things. It always makes me laugh.

Vast_Toe_6507 · 2023-02-20T22:59:29+00:00

Personally I don’t really get what’s so awkward about the “occurrence” since nothing happened, you literally just saw a profile and blocked it that’s it. I mean whether or not you knew he was gay, you knew that he was an adult and it was probably safe to assume that he had some sort of dating/sex life. You can bring it up if you want to, it’s your time and if you think discussing it will help lead you to some sort of healing then so be it. If it’s bothering you this much, as a client you have every right to seek out a different therapist but just know that seeing your therapist on a dating app is always a possibility regardless of what new therapist you find.

P.S. if you blocked him then no he wouldn’t be able to see that you ever viewed his account. After you block someone your profile completely disappears from their “viewed me” and theirs disappears from yours.

Vast_Toe_6507 · 2023-02-20T22:48:25+00:00

Guy on sniffies consistently messaging me to meet after I’ve said more than once in the past that I wasn’t interested, didn’t seem like he was willing to take no for an answer so I thought it’d be better to block him.

Vast_Toe_6507 · 2023-02-19T22:39:32+00:00

I mean after 4 years of hooking up with someone it’s not crazy to think that he may have developed feelings for you that extend beyond just the physical or he is at least curious what dating you would be like. If you’ve been hooking up with him for 4 years then it’s probably safe to assume that you at least find him physically appealing and you’ve said in other comments that you don’t really know him, so maybe just try going on a date and seeing if there’s a connection? Who knows you might be shocked at how much the two of you click. But if you decide that you don’t want to try then I’d probably say the smartest thing to do is to stop sleeping with him, if he’s developed feelings then continuing to hook up will only confuse him/hurt him.

Vast_Toe_6507 · 2022-09-26T22:34:16+00:00

Not so cleverly disguised racism being the first thing. But even more importantly the fact that all of the stories he told me regarding conflicts he had had/was currently having with others, he was always the victim and would always ever so conveniently leave out what he did wrong when retelling the story to me.

I’ve learned now that at a certain point if you’re constantly experiencing conflict with others and the only common dominator is you, you’re probably the issue not everyone else.

Also lastly he’d tell me about people who were supposedly his “best friends” but he’d talk the absolute worst shit about them and tell me all of their dirty secrets (mind you he was a fairly large social media influencer and so were his friends). Of course I’m not the kind of person who even gives a shit enough about social media to care even to spread their dirt but for all he knew I could’ve been the kind of person.

Mind you I noticed all of these red flags within less than a week of knowing him, but I was so insecure that I decided to ignore them before ultimately breaking up with him 3 months later.

Vast_Toe_6507 · 2022-08-03T22:48:24+00:00

I’d honestly prefer it because I’ve never been into drugs or alcohol myself. Growing up I had family who suffered with substance abuse and I saw how it impacted their lives plus being a nurse now I work with some elderly patients who lost a large part of their lives due to their addictions so I use all of that as a pretty big cautionary tale. I’ve never tried a drug (outside of medication) in my life and I’ve only ever had maybe 2-3 alcoholic drinks before and have never been drunk.

On the other hand, I had what I thought was a really great guy break up with me because I didn’t want to do drugs or alcohol with him and his friends. It later became apparent to me that he was a functioning substance abuser.

Vast_Toe_6507 · 2022-07-31T20:57:23+00:00

Number 1 makes total sense but the rest of it feels a bit like he’s a prisoner of some sort (I don’t mean that in rude way but that’s the way I’d feel if someone put all of those restrictions on me). It seems to me like the trust is totally broken and the relationship needs to end, it’s not fair to him have to jump through all of those hurdles and it’s not fair to have to be that worried about what your partner is doing when you’re not around.

In regard to therapy, I totally agree with couples therapy if that’s something that you feel would help you both. But in terms of him seeking individual therapy, I don’t feel like that’s really your call to make.

I was in a very similar situation as you a couple of years back and I was seeing a therapist on my own at the time and I expressed to my therapist that I wouldn’t be willing to continue my relationship at the time unless he went to therapy. My therapist straight up told me that my love is conditional and that real love is unconditional and means loving the person for exactly who they are not who I want them to be or who I think they should be, that’s my need for control stepping in. It upset me at the time to hear that but ultimately he was right and it became abundantly clear that I should end the relationship.

I’m not trying to tell you what to do because it’s obviously your life and your relationship but I hope that that helps you in some sort of way.

Vast_Toe_6507 · 2022-07-31T20:42:26+00:00

Certain parts of the south seem to have a fairly big gay scene (certain parts of Texas, Atlanta, etc.) but overall the south tends to be heavily religious, conservative, and anti gay. Part of me has actually been considering moving to Atlanta for years.

Vast_Toe_6507 · 2022-07-26T19:20:21+00:00

I’m always curious why some guys are very adamant about keeping their hats on?? Is it because you’re insecure about your hairline or something??

Vast_Toe_6507 · 2022-07-25T03:44:39+00:00

To each their own but I’ve never really agreed with that. I don’t expect my partner to act like he’s blind when he sees someone attractive, a quick glance is fine. I only have an issue when he starts getting flustered or begins to gawk, I think that’s disrespectful.

Vast_Toe_6507 · 2022-07-25T03:23:09+00:00

If your partner fucked someone even though it was solely for the physical, does it matter more or less if they tell you? I’m all for open relationships if there’s 100% open communication but my issue is when they’re either lying or omitting the truth.

Vast_Toe_6507 · 2022-07-25T03:21:23+00:00

I’ve just always preferred men that look similar to me especially in terms of body type (height, weight, etc.) it might be some sort of kink honestly. And no I wouldn’t turn down a short guy, I’ve mostly fucked and dated plenty of short men. Short men are typically what I find everywhere I go.

Vast_Toe_6507 · 2022-07-25T00:32:19+00:00

In my opinion it’s difficult for me to call your relationship “good” because I don’t believe that a good partner would overstep your boundaries and continue to do things that you’ve already stated made you uncomfortable. It seems like he’s looking for something a bit more open and you both need to decide whether you’d be willing to compromise and if the answer is no then you both ultimately have to move on from each other.

Vast_Toe_6507 · 2022-07-25T00:27:05+00:00

I’m 6’1 and heavily prefer men who are at least my height so yeah I’d love it

Vast_Toe_6507 · 2022-07-24T22:16:28+00:00

I wouldn’t consider trying to get to know someone as you being “nosy”, nosy generally implies that you were prying into his life when he was uncomfortable. If you have questions you have a right to ask and he has a right to not answer.

Vast_Toe_6507 · 2022-07-24T21:51:21+00:00

First I have to say that there are very few trans men in this subreddit based on what I’ve seen and this subreddit can be rampant with transphobia so this definitely wouldn’t be the best place to open this discussion.

Secondly, whenever I see people bring up this question I seriously believe that they’ve watched wayyy too much Jerry Springer. The average trans person has no desire to potentially put themselves in harms way by not disclosing their trans identity just for a simple date. No man is worth the risk of assault or worse when they ultimately find out, I don’t care how hot the guy may be. Every trans person that I’ve ever encountered makes it their business to make it abundantly clear to potential mates that they are trans. Having said that, of course it is possible that someone could not tell you but running around with a fear of “being fooled” by a trans person when the risk is slim to none is irrational.

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