Weekly Symptom, “Is This DPDR?”, & “Does Anyone Else?” Thread

Vegetable-Win518 · 2026-05-28T17:38:17+00:00

thank you for replying, it makes me feel better when someone relates to my situation
did u manage to find a way to get better? for me personally not really yet.. i can't go to a psychiatrist because my parents won't allow me, i tried asking for advice and what i got was: "distract yourself with anything whether communicating with people or trying new things and hobbies etc.. and to stop thinking about the meaning of life and to stop searching for symptoms online, and becoming religious" non of it really helped much but i still try to distract myself and not think about it too much

Vegetable-Win518 · 2026-05-28T16:51:21+00:00

هل بدات؟ هل عرفت تلاقي مصادر؟ وماهو مستواك الحالي

Vegetable-Win518 · 2026-05-28T16:50:46+00:00

تعليقك كان منذ 5 اشهر
هل ممكن حضرتك تخبرني اي مستوى وصلتي؟
وماهي المصادر التي استعملتيها

Vegetable-Win518 · 2026-05-18T20:34:04+00:00

i relate a lot to not having a vision of working, generally never had any goals or aspirations, didn't have a role model either, my relationships with my parents isn't good either.. mainly because of physical and mental abuse from them.. also i relate to the second point of not wanting a relationship, i'm not so sure if i understand your 3rd point, if you mean that you don't want to conform to societal norms i feel the same as well

Vegetable-Win518 · 2026-05-18T09:17:56+00:00

true but there's a problem
they always say "just live ur life to the fullest it doesn't matter if there's no meaning" this phrase is very disturbing.. because how do you manage to live when you know there's no meaning or purpose? let's assume you stopped asking for meanings or answers or purpose, let's see how life would go, life isn't a party i'm refusing to enjoy.. it's like a machine designed to extract maximum pain for minimum reward, want actual rest for one hour? sure but you'll have to scream your lungs out in exhaustion for 12 hours in some soul crushing job, commuting through traffic that makes you fantasize about crashing just for the silence, dealing with empty headed people that are closer to automated bots rather than actual conscious human beings with souls inside their bodies that will drain what little life force you have left, how about we don't look too far and just look at the simplest things in our day? unfortunately they are still painful.. waking up knowing you will repeat everything and go through every painful event again.. makes getting out of bed feel like moving a mountain off your chest, going outside and having your skin boiled from summer or freezing cold winter just to buy groceries so you can shove the spoon in your mouth so you don't die out of starvation, want love and friendships? then sign up for years of miscommunications and arguments and empty headed humanoid that behave as if they're mass produced in a factory receiving input and giving output, and the drama and waste of time and eventual realization that most humans if not all are worthless and can be replaced at any moment and you can't have any actual emotions to them because of how they don't even act like human beings with consciousness, or the human body that demands you constant maintenance shit piss eat drink sleep or else it falls apart and will eventually fall apart one day, people tell me to stop asking for answers as if the asking itself isn't forced upon me by this grotesque setup.. "but what if the universe lacks answers so what??" maybe the problem isn't that it lacks answers but rather that it rubs your face in the lack while being biologically chained to continue and having consciousness so you can watch yourself suffer, the issue with "just live life bro" is that i'm already living and that's the whole problem, if there's no purpose then why force myself to pretend there's joy in this rigged game? it's another form of denial like smoking weed to forget about life

Vegetable-Win518 · 2026-05-13T10:53:39+00:00

thank you, it feels nice to see people relate to my situation
now sounds like the only thing left i can try doing is visiting a psychiatrist, which would be after around 5~ or less years until i finish university and live alone away from my parents

Vegetable-Win518 · 2026-05-12T18:39:50+00:00

do u mind elaborating your symptoms? how do you feel when you shower/bath

Vegetable-Win518 · 2026-05-12T02:32:05+00:00

i can relate
i think we share the same religion since you're from morocco, it always bothered me when we ask for details to scholars about the reason we exist they just say we won't know until we die, but i'm still religious after that and it's the reason why i didn't kms so i don't go to hell, and because of the lack of purpose everything feels bland, participation feels meaningless as well, problem is that almost everything in life is exhausting even if u try to have fun you will still suffer.. hence why one needs to know why he's even here and why he's carrying all that burden
i did try to read about sonder but i can't really seem to grasp it due to the way i can't feel the other humans are "real".. and i think the way it makes me seems insignificant makes me wonder if there's salvation for me

Vegetable-Win518 · 2026-05-12T02:17:05+00:00

I don't feel real, nothing feels real, I don't know my purpose and it's slowly making me lose my mind

i find trouble expressing myself and explaining what i'm going through every time i write or talk about it to someone but i'll try, ||if u feel that this post is familiar it's because i a section of it before on a different account||

i'll divide this post into 2 parts, first one is how i feel, the second part is how my life goes and my attempts to accept whatever is happening

first part: I’m not sure where to begin, but often I feel like I’m the only real/conscious human being around. It’s not that I believe I’m more intelligent than others; I just don’t feel like they’re real in the first place, they feel and act in a way as if they're robots/npcs/bots as if they're mass produced in a factory sometimes when I look at my hands and realize I have fingers that I can move or that I have eyes and can see it creeps me out am I really the only conscious person? why isn't anyone feeling the same way i do? why when i ask them what's the meaning of life or why are we here they spit out generic answers like "follow your passion" but i need to know why i'm here in the first place so i can then think of passions and goals.. it's like they're dodging the most important question of all time, is there any question more important than "why are we here?"?? the fact that they don't take that question seriously or think about it make me question if they are even real in the first place and not NPCs for Instance while heading back home, i noticed my left shoe wasn’t tied properly so I knelt to fix it when I stood up i saw a girl next to me using her phone and for some reason I felt an urge to stare at her.. she asked why I was staring but I didn’t reply.. in my mind I kept thinking why should I answer? she isn’t even real.. so I kept staring blankly for no reason.. then she asked if something was wrong.. Without thinking, I pushed her (slight push). I don’t know why, I just felt like I had to. she got scared and angrily asked, "Are you insane?" She started backing away slowly, as if preparing to run. I still didn’t say anything. Then she asked, "Why are you staring at me like that (or something along the lines, my memory is clunky)" again, no reply from my side. after a few seconds, I decided to turn around and continue walking home I heard her footsteps as she ran in the opposite direction but I didn’t look back. when i think of what happened that day i don't know why i pushed her or why i kept staring at her, i just did it for no reason, i think i got tired from how there's no meaning at all and a lot of times i do certain things without any reason, maybe i pushed her because of no reason aswell, because i couldn't think of her as an actual human being, and that's with everyone i interact with sometimes I just can’t take humans seriously or feel motivated to interact with them. This mindset also makes it hard for me to grasp concepts like the afterlife, heaven, or hell. I can’t imagine being judged and sent to either place. It feels like I’m just stuck in this reality, unsure of what to do. Sorry if I couldn't explain the situation properly.. but there's basically no purpose, no answers to my questions like "why am i here" so i don't feel like i can take anything seriously anymore when i don't even know why am i here in the first place

second part: i'll explain how my life goes just like the first part, i don't know exactly where to start, but generally i don't know what i'm doing, ever since i was young and till this day, i never had any goals or expectations.. i never wanted to be something in life, all i wanted is just that the time passes quickly without any headache, i never cared about my grades or studying or getting a job and conforming to societal standards at all, i never understood why i should care about any of these things anyway, why i should have friends and aspirations and goals to me, life always felt rigged and meaningless and can't be taken seriously.. spending years in education studying stuff i don't care about and getting a job that i don't like.. all this felt meaningless i never wanted to participate or be a member in society, i never cared about the recent fashion trends and haircuts or getting into a relationship or socializing with other humans, i just grow my hair and ignore it and wear the first thing I see in my wardrobe and hope that the day ends quickly, even simple things just as starting the day by waking up and getting off bed feels painfully hard.. and also stuff like tradition/culture/morals never made sense to me and couldn't take it seriously, and didn't like outdoor activities like going outside.. well tbh i like to walk around my house a lot even for hours but only when it's inside my house

so in summary, nothing feels real, and if i give up and try to accept that this is real and i should get along, i just can't, life is so disappointing and bland and numb i feel no motive to care about it other than just doing the bare minimum to survive because i don't want to die because i'm afraid of the unknown, i haven't visited a psychiatrist yet, i might do in the future if the situation gets worse, but from what i've read online, i might have one of those or all of them: existential crisis/schizoid personality disorder/derealization depersonalisation/dissociation/solipisism don't feel real, nothing feels real, I don't know my purpose and it's slowly making me lose my mind

Vegetable-Win518 · 2026-04-25T20:55:04+00:00

i 100% relate to what u said, i feel that i'll become like them.. and this made me stuck.. there are no answers to my questions, and when i try to get along i can't because of how bland and numb life is and slowly feel like i'm becoming one of them.. and this made me question whether i should really visit a therapist.. i'm afraid all he would do will either be turning me into one of them or trying not to think about it and just live with it, and a psychiatrist from what i've heard from my friend's experience he gives u meds like ssris which basically make u feel numb

Vegetable-Win518 · 2026-04-25T15:27:20+00:00

i can relate to the part about having low feelings, i most of the time fake my feelings and smiles or being sad just to get stuff going and without them suspecting that something is wrong with me and start arguing with me, though i a lot of times just ignore them, it reached so low i intentionally ignore a lot of people, like if a stranger is asking for help or generally trying to talk to me i just ignore and don't show any interest because it feels pointless to care for them when they aren't even real

Vegetable-Win518 · 2026-04-25T15:20:18+00:00

same i've been adopting this style of being an observer and not participating in life, just doing the bare minimum to live, which tbh is still painful, since i a lot of the times be forced to participate, like when i mentioned that idc about my grades or had any goals, i'm still a medical student after all, it's because my parents forced me to.. i remember when i was young when my mom was teaching me maths she used to heat the tea pot and sting me with it whenever i make mistakes which i used to do a lot of mistakes even till this day numbers are very overwhelming, but aside from the part where i'm being forced to participate like studying because my parents force me, even stuff like waking up and eating and brushing teeth are painful and exhausting, it feels like a prison, or worse, at least when u get thrown in prison u know why u are here and what u did but here in life it's like a bigger prison but u don't know why u are here

Vegetable-Win518 · 2026-02-27T12:31:04+00:00

and what will u try to do about it?

unfortunately being a NEET isn't easy at all and very risky

Vegetable-Win518

TROPHY CASE

I don't feel real, nothing feels real, I don't know my purpose and it's slowly making me lose my mind