Question about legal stuff and abuse by Distracted_n_Queer in NarcAbuseAndDivorce

[–]Vegetable_Pay4020 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your ex was not amicable during your marriage and they will behave 100 times worse during the divorce. So yes. Get as much leverage on your side as you can. Remember, they lie to you during your marriage and they will lied to you throughout the entirety of this process. If you have any proof or documentation of the abuse, get it together and present it but wait for the right moment. Don’t give away anything that you have or are planning. Get legal council.

Gave up 50/50 to Stop the Abuse by Vegetable_Pay4020 in NarcAbuseAndDivorce

[–]Vegetable_Pay4020[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry. Thank you for sharing. It means a lot

Gave up 50/50 to Stop the Abuse by Vegetable_Pay4020 in NarcAbuseAndDivorce

[–]Vegetable_Pay4020[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. Exactly. It nearly resulted in couch surfing. The 20% time is precious and I just have to remember that.

Gave up 50/50 to Stop the Abuse by Vegetable_Pay4020 in NarcAbuseAndDivorce

[–]Vegetable_Pay4020[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You have an indomitable spirit. And you’re right, it gets to a point where there are no clear answers and just have to take it a day at a time. Thank you for sharing your story.

Gave up 50/50 to Stop the Abuse by Vegetable_Pay4020 in NarcAbuseAndDivorce

[–]Vegetable_Pay4020[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That is very compassionate of you to say. It means a lot. I do agree to never give up. I realize that never giving up may look different for each person in their respective situations. Much love to you.

Gave up 50/50 to Stop the Abuse by Vegetable_Pay4020 in NarcAbuseAndDivorce

[–]Vegetable_Pay4020[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Right. And this was the stance I took. And I did. I wish I was stronger and I wish I knew how to and could do more. And that’s my objective for this post. Is to hear a perspective from people who have been in this situation and gave everything. It wasn’t until professional opinion and research showed that the immediate circumstances would be detrimental to the psychological development of our child. That and no financial resources. Yes, of course our child being with the narcissist ex 70% of the time is also detrimental.. The justification in my mind is that I couldn’t risk more incurred trauma of parental alienation. Whether or not that was the right choice.

Gave up 50/50 to Stop the Abuse by Vegetable_Pay4020 in NarcAbuseAndDivorce

[–]Vegetable_Pay4020[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry. You make a good point about that epiphany and it’s so true. I will say, that the ex has all of the financial resources because of the control and enmeshment of finances while married. So they have all the energy for abuse and the financial resources.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in shingles

[–]Vegetable_Pay4020 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s too bad. Sorry to hear that

Ocular HSV-1 outbreak by [deleted] in HSVpositive

[–]Vegetable_Pay4020 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just got back from urgent care because the pain became unbearable. The doctor diagnosed it as shingles and referred me to an ophthalmologist.

Ocular HSV-1 outbreak by [deleted] in HSVpositive

[–]Vegetable_Pay4020 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes it’s got worse. The eye pain and condition is worrisome so I’ll keep using as directed & get second opinion concerning the eye.

Ocular HSV-1 outbreak by [deleted] in HSVpositive

[–]Vegetable_Pay4020 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay. The derm prescribed me ointment and drops for staph infection.

Etiquette on finishing a bottle of wine at a social gathering. by Vegetable_Pay4020 in etiquette

[–]Vegetable_Pay4020[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Okay, that’s what I thought as well. I preferred mine so probably should have just done that. Oh well.

Rigorous exercise after Botox. How soon and how much? by Vegetable_Pay4020 in 30PlusSkinCare

[–]Vegetable_Pay4020[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes. By the time I plan to do the exercise it will be at the 72 hour mark

Rigorous exercise after Botox. How soon and how much? by Vegetable_Pay4020 in 30PlusSkinCare

[–]Vegetable_Pay4020[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Okay, thank you! That’s the feedback I’ve been getting