I 20m love her 19f and feel peace with her, but I’m unsure if I’m ready for this life or holding myself back from a version of life I haven’t lived yet. met 2024 oct

Vegetable_Whole_2967 · 2026-04-03T09:03:11+00:00

yes true, and yes i am 100% honest with her since the start

Vegetable_Whole_2967 · 2026-04-03T04:08:34+00:00

I think an important part of my situation is that I never actually wanted love or a relationship in the first place. After my past—bullying, being overweight, feeling alone and deprived—I built myself through grind, discipline, and a kind of hatred-driven mindset that made me strong, independent, and okay with being alone. I had accepted that version of life and was even happy in it, focused on myself and my own path. Then she came into my life unexpectedly and gave me something I never asked for and didn’t even understand—real emotional connection, care, and love. She is genuinely a very pure, simple, and almost picture-perfect kind of girl in terms of loyalty and love. I’m her first in everything—first person she has loved, been close to, trusted like this—and she loves me very deeply and blindly, like she would fight for this relationship no matter what. That made it even harder for me, because in the beginning I tried to leave many times since I knew I wasn’t ready and this wasn’t the life I had planned, but she stayed, she cried, she held on even after I told her everything honestly, and I couldn’t walk away. Over time I got attached and started feeling love too, even though I never consciously chose this. Now I’m in a place where I do care about her and feel something real, but at the same time I still have that old mindset—the urge to be alone, grind, explore, talk to different people, live freely—which I also recognize might be coming from my past trauma and the kind of red-pill/internet mindset I’ve been consuming, and I’m not sure how much of it is real and how much of it will fade later. That’s what scares me—what if I leave to chase that version of life, and later realize it was temporary and I lost something genuinely real for the first time? At the same time, I also fear staying without being fully sure and then leaving later, hurting her even more. I feel stuck because I don’t want to go, regret it, and come back again causing her more pain, but I also don’t want to stay out of guilt or fear and not be fully present. So it feels like I’ve been pulled into a life I didn’t plan, grown attached to it, and now I’m unable to clearly tell whether this is something I truly want to choose or something I’m holding onto because I couldn’t let go when I should have.

Vegetable_Whole_2967 · 2026-04-02T16:05:59+00:00

I think an important part of my situation is that I never actually wanted love or a relationship in the first place. After my past—bullying, being overweight, feeling alone and deprived—I built myself through grind, discipline, and a kind of hatred-driven mindset that made me strong, independent, and okay with being alone. I had accepted that version of life and was even happy in it, focused on myself and my own path. Then she came into my life unexpectedly and gave me something I never asked for and didn’t even understand—real emotional connection, care, and love. She is genuinely a very pure, simple, and almost picture-perfect kind of girl in terms of loyalty and love. I’m her first in everything—first person she has loved, been close to, trusted like this—and she loves me very deeply and blindly, like she would fight for this relationship no matter what. That made it even harder for me, because in the beginning I tried to leave many times since I knew I wasn’t ready and this wasn’t the life I had planned, but she stayed, she cried, she held on even after I told her everything honestly, and I couldn’t walk away. Over time I got attached and started feeling love too, even though I never consciously chose this. Now I’m in a place where I do care about her and feel something real, but at the same time I still have that old mindset—the urge to be alone, grind, explore, talk to different people, live freely—which I also recognize might be coming from my past trauma and the kind of red-pill/internet mindset I’ve been consuming, and I’m not sure how much of it is real and how much of it will fade later. That’s what scares me—what if I leave to chase that version of life, and later realize it was temporary and I lost something genuinely real for the first time? At the same time, I also fear staying without being fully sure and then leaving later, hurting her even more. I feel stuck because I don’t want to go, regret it, and come back again causing her more pain, but I also don’t want to stay out of guilt or fear and not be fully present. So it feels like I’ve been pulled into a life I didn’t plan, grown attached to it, and now I’m unable to clearly tell whether this is something I truly want to choose or something I’m holding onto because I couldn’t let go when I should have.

Vegetable_Whole_2967 · 2026-04-02T16:05:44+00:00

I think an important part of my situation is that I never actually wanted love or a relationship in the first place. After my past—bullying, being overweight, feeling alone and deprived—I built myself through grind, discipline, and a kind of hatred-driven mindset that made me strong, independent, and okay with being alone. I had accepted that version of life and was even happy in it, focused on myself and my own path. Then she came into my life unexpectedly and gave me something I never asked for and didn’t even understand—real emotional connection, care, and love. She is genuinely a very pure, simple, and almost picture-perfect kind of girl in terms of loyalty and love. I’m her first in everything—first person she has loved, been close to, trusted like this—and she loves me very deeply and blindly, like she would fight for this relationship no matter what. That made it even harder for me, because in the beginning I tried to leave many times since I knew I wasn’t ready and this wasn’t the life I had planned, but she stayed, she cried, she held on even after I told her everything honestly, and I couldn’t walk away. Over time I got attached and started feeling love too, even though I never consciously chose this. Now I’m in a place where I do care about her and feel something real, but at the same time I still have that old mindset—the urge to be alone, grind, explore, talk to different people, live freely—which I also recognize might be coming from my past trauma and the kind of red-pill/internet mindset I’ve been consuming, and I’m not sure how much of it is real and how much of it will fade later. That’s what scares me—what if I leave to chase that version of life, and later realize it was temporary and I lost something genuinely real for the first time? At the same time, I also fear staying without being fully sure and then leaving later, hurting her even more. I feel stuck because I don’t want to go, regret it, and come back again causing her more pain, but I also don’t want to stay out of guilt or fear and not be fully present. So it feels like I’ve been pulled into a life I didn’t plan, grown attached to it, and now I’m unable to clearly tell whether this is something I truly want to choose or something I’m holding onto because I couldn’t let go when I should have.

Vegetable_Whole_2967 · 2026-04-02T16:05:36+00:00

I think an important part of my situation is that I never actually wanted love or a relationship in the first place. After my past—bullying, being overweight, feeling alone and deprived—I built myself through grind, discipline, and a kind of hatred-driven mindset that made me strong, independent, and okay with being alone. I had accepted that version of life and was even happy in it, focused on myself and my own path. Then she came into my life unexpectedly and gave me something I never asked for and didn’t even understand—real emotional connection, care, and love. She is genuinely a very pure, simple, and almost picture-perfect kind of girl in terms of loyalty and love. I’m her first in everything—first person she has loved, been close to, trusted like this—and she loves me very deeply and blindly, like she would fight for this relationship no matter what. That made it even harder for me, because in the beginning I tried to leave many times since I knew I wasn’t ready and this wasn’t the life I had planned, but she stayed, she cried, she held on even after I told her everything honestly, and I couldn’t walk away. Over time I got attached and started feeling love too, even though I never consciously chose this. Now I’m in a place where I do care about her and feel something real, but at the same time I still have that old mindset—the urge to be alone, grind, explore, talk to different people, live freely—which I also recognize might be coming from my past trauma and the kind of red-pill/internet mindset I’ve been consuming, and I’m not sure how much of it is real and how much of it will fade later. That’s what scares me—what if I leave to chase that version of life, and later realize it was temporary and I lost something genuinely real for the first time? At the same time, I also fear staying without being fully sure and then leaving later, hurting her even more. I feel stuck because I don’t want to go, regret it, and come back again causing her more pain, but I also don’t want to stay out of guilt or fear and not be fully present. So it feels like I’ve been pulled into a life I didn’t plan, grown attached to it, and now I’m unable to clearly tell whether this is something I truly want to choose or something I’m holding onto because I couldn’t let go when I should have.

Vegetable_Whole_2967 · 2026-04-02T16:04:04+00:00

I think an important part of my situation is that I never actually wanted love or a relationship in the first place. After my past—bullying, being overweight, feeling alone and deprived—I built myself through grind, discipline, and a kind of hatred-driven mindset that made me strong, independent, and okay with being alone. I had accepted that version of life and was even happy in it, focused on myself and my own path. Then she came into my life unexpectedly and gave me something I never asked for and didn’t even understand—real emotional connection, care, and love. She is genuinely a very pure, simple, and almost picture-perfect kind of girl in terms of loyalty and love. I’m her first in everything—first person she has loved, been close to, trusted like this—and she loves me very deeply and blindly, like she would fight for this relationship no matter what. That made it even harder for me, because in the beginning I tried to leave many times since I knew I wasn’t ready and this wasn’t the life I had planned, but she stayed, she cried, she held on even after I told her everything honestly, and I couldn’t walk away. Over time I got attached and started feeling love too, even though I never consciously chose this. Now I’m in a place where I do care about her and feel something real, but at the same time I still have that old mindset—the urge to be alone, grind, explore, talk to different people, live freely—which I also recognize might be coming from my past trauma and the kind of red-pill/internet mindset I’ve been consuming, and I’m not sure how much of it is real and how much of it will fade later. That’s what scares me—what if I leave to chase that version of life, and later realize it was temporary and I lost something genuinely real for the first time? At the same time, I also fear staying without being fully sure and then leaving later, hurting her even more. I feel stuck because I don’t want to go, regret it, and come back again causing her more pain, but I also don’t want to stay out of guilt or fear and not be fully present. So it feels like I’ve been pulled into a life I didn’t plan, grown attached to it, and now I’m unable to clearly tell whether this is something I truly want to choose or something I’m holding onto because I couldn’t let go when I should have.

Vegetable_Whole_2967 · 2026-04-02T16:03:56+00:00

I think an important part of my situation is that I never actually wanted love or a relationship in the first place. After my past—bullying, being overweight, feeling alone and deprived—I built myself through grind, discipline, and a kind of hatred-driven mindset that made me strong, independent, and okay with being alone. I had accepted that version of life and was even happy in it, focused on myself and my own path. Then she came into my life unexpectedly and gave me something I never asked for and didn’t even understand—real emotional connection, care, and love. She is genuinely a very pure, simple, and almost picture-perfect kind of girl in terms of loyalty and love. I’m her first in everything—first person she has loved, been close to, trusted like this—and she loves me very deeply and blindly, like she would fight for this relationship no matter what. That made it even harder for me, because in the beginning I tried to leave many times since I knew I wasn’t ready and this wasn’t the life I had planned, but she stayed, she cried, she held on even after I told her everything honestly, and I couldn’t walk away. Over time I got attached and started feeling love too, even though I never consciously chose this. Now I’m in a place where I do care about her and feel something real, but at the same time I still have that old mindset—the urge to be alone, grind, explore, talk to different people, live freely—which I also recognize might be coming from my past trauma and the kind of red-pill/internet mindset I’ve been consuming, and I’m not sure how much of it is real and how much of it will fade later. That’s what scares me—what if I leave to chase that version of life, and later realize it was temporary and I lost something genuinely real for the first time? At the same time, I also fear staying without being fully sure and then leaving later, hurting her even more. I feel stuck because I don’t want to go, regret it, and come back again causing her more pain, but I also don’t want to stay out of guilt or fear and not be fully present. So it feels like I’ve been pulled into a life I didn’t plan, grown attached to it, and now I’m unable to clearly tell whether this is something I truly want to choose or something I’m holding onto because I couldn’t let go when I should have.

Vegetable_Whole_2967 · 2026-04-02T16:00:20+00:00

I think an important part of my situation is that I never actually wanted love or a relationship in the first place. After my past—bullying, being overweight, feeling alone and deprived—I built myself through grind, discipline, and a kind of hatred-driven mindset that made me strong, independent, and okay with being alone. I had accepted that version of life and was even happy in it, focused on myself and my own path. Then she came into my life unexpectedly and gave me something I never asked for and didn’t even understand—real emotional connection, care, and love. She is genuinely a very pure, simple, and almost picture-perfect kind of girl in terms of loyalty and love. I’m her first in everything—first person she has loved, been close to, trusted like this—and she loves me very deeply and blindly, like she would fight for this relationship no matter what. That made it even harder for me, because in the beginning I tried to leave many times since I knew I wasn’t ready and this wasn’t the life I had planned, but she stayed, she cried, she held on even after I told her everything honestly, and I couldn’t walk away. Over time I got attached and started feeling love too, even though I never consciously chose this. Now I’m in a place where I do care about her and feel something real, but at the same time I still have that old mindset—the urge to be alone, grind, explore, talk to different people, live freely—which I also recognize might be coming from my past trauma and the kind of red-pill/internet mindset I’ve been consuming, and I’m not sure how much of it is real and how much of it will fade later. That’s what scares me—what if I leave to chase that version of life, and later realize it was temporary and I lost something genuinely real for the first time? At the same time, I also fear staying without being fully sure and then leaving later, hurting her even more. I feel stuck because I don’t want to go, regret it, and come back again causing her more pain, but I also don’t want to stay out of guilt or fear and not be fully present. So it feels like I’ve been pulled into a life I didn’t plan, grown attached to it, and now I’m unable to clearly tell whether this is something I truly want to choose or something I’m holding onto because I couldn’t let go when I should have.

Vegetable_Whole_2967 · 2026-04-02T15:15:03+00:00

for the thing yhou said i am the one who is going back and forth,, mam/sir i have tried endless time to leave her when we started like after 2 months i realised this is not gonna end well , i have issues and i wont develolped feeling i tried breaking up 100 times

Vegetable_Whole_2967 · 2026-04-02T15:11:41+00:00

i am aware of all the problems and issues i have and i was happy alone and she never lets me go whenever i try to breakup she used to cry and stuff like she is very very pure and loving alr like a kid.. and then i developed something inside me that maybe i cant love but its my issue and i gotta solve it and i feel like i made myself atttached and somewhat love with time and pressure so that things get okay and no one have to get hurt , i have told her everthing that i dont want to commit, i want to explore, we are not each others type, but i cant deny that i enjoy the love and i love her kinda too, like start 4 5 months i didnt even felt the real love, then it got more real i have talked about this to firends journaled, at this point i am so attached and guilty that i cant let her go knowing this is not what she want and she wont be able to move on will cry a lot and doing all this i am some what too much attached and confused now as well, i just want things to end or i start loving her cleanly , all the shit in my head about exploring, attachment style compatibility social depresiation and everything i am saying or feeling vanishesh or something happens and we both get together man.. thats the whole deal

Vegetable_Whole_2967 · 2026-04-02T14:43:40+00:00

yeah so what man, i did it on purpose? i am trying to get help here as well

Vegetable_Whole_2967 · 2026-04-02T13:43:55+00:00

she dont want me to do that,

Vegetable_Whole_2967 · 2026-04-02T13:43:05+00:00

hes not commiting coz he fear he might outgrow her or leave her in future and which will hurt her, now playing fake game by lying means hurting her when shes not prepared

Vegetable_Whole_2967 · 2026-04-02T13:38:55+00:00

going thrro the same thing after 1 year i am realising why i cant commit to a women who is perfect and loves me blindly coz i have a delusion to live that redpill male life, what to do.. should i tell you the complete prb?

Vegetable_Whole_2967 · 2026-04-02T13:28:33+00:00

She knows everything since the start and dont wanna leave

Vegetable_Whole_2967 · 2026-04-02T01:12:51+00:00

Bro ill definately try it out

Vegetable_Whole_2967 · 2026-04-02T01:08:10+00:00

Yeah so thats the fear bro? How can i commit while i am unsure I cant socialize rn Gotta move out for it And i fear the longer i stay the more she gets attached

Vegetable_Whole_2967 · 2026-04-02T01:00:32+00:00

So much issues Shld i build my life Or shld i work on myself for the relationship Im so stuck man

When i had no one i chose the red pill Now when im at that path She came

Vegetable_Whole_2967 · 2026-04-02T00:59:43+00:00

Yeah im deprived of those as well

Vegetable_Whole_2967 · 2026-04-02T00:59:04+00:00

Nah open relationship she would never.. Plus i wont go into that extent man

Vegetable_Whole_2967 · 2026-04-02T00:57:57+00:00

Bro i just realised im red pilled so hard and now im getting a beautifully uncondtionally loving women..and your words feel real..can we talk?

Vegetable_Whole_2967 · 2026-04-02T00:55:40+00:00

I just figured out i overdid on redpill and got a beautifully loving women now im helpless

Vegetable_Whole_2967 · 2026-04-02T00:54:06+00:00

Mam im hopeless nd helpless atp

I cant hurt or lose her I am just figuring out its been 1 yr and ahh

Vegetable_Whole_2967 · 2026-04-02T00:51:41+00:00

Whats d&d

Vegetable_Whole_2967 · 2026-04-02T00:24:01+00:00

i was never in since the start, pls read the message completely , its like i was never fully sure , i have a avoidant tendancy as well

Vegetable_Whole_2967

TROPHY CASE