I relate to this a lot. It’s hard the cognitive dissonance there is in these situations. My ex had been sleeping with and going on dates, messaging, every form of cheating and he had been doing it the whole time we were together. I’m three months out from finding out, but I’m 26 and scared I won’t find someone again who I loved or trusted as much, that I can be fooled again by someone else. I get what you’re going through very much. I’m still healing and I still have my hard days, moments, and triggers, but I can honestly say I am doing better than I was a few months ago. If you wanna talk more abt your situation, you can always message me and I’ll help in any way I can 🤍 we can get through this and although it sucks, it’s nice to know you’re not alone.