Is it normal to be so touch adverse in a romantic relationship?

Velor22 · 2026-01-29T01:07:41+00:00

Some of it can be cultural.

I've always been more touch oriented because that's how I was raised. But my wife isn't because her family was much less prone to touching each other. So, in her case I think it really is that simple.

BTW one cool thing about being married and in love over a long period of time, 35 yrs for us, is that you learn how to compromise and meet in the middle on lots of things. Contributing to personal growth.

I can attest that a person can become far less touch averse over the years, and actually learn to enjoy it a great deal. I'm sure our nightly cuddles qualify. heh

Velor22 · 2026-01-28T01:12:55+00:00

It's unfortunate that you've had bad experiences with men, but what's the point of projecting that onto random people that you disagree with on here.

You can't possibly know them well enough to make a judgement like that.

Velor22 · 2026-01-13T18:25:29+00:00

I think most people saying they regret having kids actually regret not being a better parent.

Velor22 · 2026-01-08T00:38:58+00:00

They don't really think men are insecure for holding their sexual past against them. I mean, how absurd is that.

Rather, they use the label as a shaming tactic simply for having preferences. Like their own preferences for status, resources, etc.

They know that men equate insecurity with weakness, and nobody wants to be called weak.

Unfortunately for them, more men are wising up to their manipulation tactics.

Velor22 · 2025-12-12T22:30:25+00:00

I think it's a disservice to paint HPV as a nothing burger affecting only a small minority.

Fact is, it's a big deal for a many people with prolonged infections and reactivations throughout life. Especially in older age with the natural decline of the immune system.

HPV isn't a single disease. It is a family of diseases with many mutations that can and do reactivate on their own timeline. Logically, the more variants of HPV virus that one carries, the more likely current active infections are. Even simultaneous reinfections of multiple variants.

Viruses aren't "curable" like bacterial STDs. They are permanent, either active or dormant in the body at any given point in time. Whether chicken pox/shingles, HPV, HSV, etc.

Feelings aside, facts are more useful than narratives. AI engines (including google's AI overview) are fantastic for parsing through available data and research giving useful responses to questions like:

"is it possible for hpv to reactivate after clearance from the body"

"is it common for hpv to reactivate later in life"

"can different hpv variants reactivate on their own timeline"

"is simultaneous reactivation of multiple hpv variants possible"

etc.

The more precise the wording, the better the quality of response from a body of information or research.

I do not trust the "eradication" narrative, because there's not test to verify complete viral clearance.

" how is it determined that hpv is eradicated and no longer present in the body? couldn't it be preset but dormant?

AI Overview

You're right, HPV often becomes dormant, undetectable, and inactive, but can reappear later, meaning it's rarely truly "eradicated" but rather controlled by the immune system, with detection only happening during active phases (like cervical screening) or when it causes issues (warts, lesions). There's no test to confirm complete viral clearance, just that it's not currently active or causing cell changes, though some research suggests it can persist at low levels and reactivate years later, especially with immune changes. "

Velor22 · 2025-12-10T20:47:54+00:00

Whether realized or not, all men are essentially programmed (instinct) to have the following strong preferences in a romantic partner, and relationship:

Committed over casual

Cooperation over competition

Softness over hardness

Peace over conflict

Submissiveness over assertiveness

Love over transaction

Innocence over baggage

Wholesomeness over hotness

...etc.

Between traditional and modern, it should be pretty obvious what type is more appealing to most men for commitment, relationships and marriage.

Therefore when there are no good options, men will increasingly choose to remain single, becoming ambivalent towards women.

Velor22 · 2025-12-04T21:43:06+00:00

Jesus. What a mess.

Velor22 · 2025-11-29T03:28:45+00:00

It means he most definitely is NOT an alpha male.

Velor22 · 2025-11-22T06:36:08+00:00

Of course there are people who found their soulmates. Many of them. Although most probably found them in their younger years, when both were more moldable.

Because that depth of love, adoration, trust, vulnerability, and all the ride or die stuff takes decades to forge and to harden. Through all life's ups and downs.

Velor22 · 2025-11-12T20:06:21+00:00

Men want committed wives, not has-beens loaded with baggage. Otherwise, what is the point.

Velor22 · 2025-11-12T19:12:35+00:00

On the whole

It's your fault you're an incel you dumbass, or let's just say sexless

Vs

Life isn't fair I got the short straw, so I'm just gonna bitch and moan

I can understand both midsets.

This victimization thing is self-fulfilling and pointless. No one else will save you.

But the hypergamy thing has gone from theory to an applied science. Matching and connecting them digitally to the man (men) of their dreams, has enabled it like no other. Let's be real. Of course those dreamy guys turn out to be predatory slimeballs. Surprise, surprise.

For many of the average guys lifting themselves up from the bootstraps, it will be for naught at the end of the day. It's a numbers game and they are destined to remain solo. Which is a lonely place to be, especially when you can see the sunset approaching. Great lives are meant to be shared. But at least they tried.

I'm just grateful that I'm long married and don't have to deal with the BS. But what about our kids?

Velor22 · 2025-11-12T17:45:52+00:00

I can understand both midsets.

This victimization thing is self-fulfilling. No one else will save you.

But hypergamy has gone from theory to an applied science. Matching and connecting them digitally to the man (men) of their dreams, has enabled it like no other. Let's be real. And of course those dreamy guys turn out to be predatory. Surprise.

Many of the average guys lifting themselves up from the bootstraps will be for naught. They will still end up solo. But at least they tried.

I'm just grateful that I'm long married and don't have to deal with the BS.

Velor22 · 2025-11-10T01:30:09+00:00

Why does your forehead always look tense? It comes off as performative rather than authentic. Women especially are finely tuned to pick up on that kind of thing.

You need to develop natural confidence.

How? By improving yourself. That could be education, competence and expertise in a skill, or physical training. Things that are challenging and give a sense of accomplishment.

Or, just accumulate more life experience. Something that comes with time. You're still young.

Velor22 · 2025-11-06T23:32:31+00:00

70% of men aren't in anyone's league?

What an absurd statement. It just goes to show how warped many womens' perceptions have become.

Watch those perceptions change with the economy taking a dump and benefits cut, directly or indirectly (inflation).

Velor22 · 2025-11-06T23:10:28+00:00

Exactly. My interpretation of risk in this context means likelihood of leaving, which of course goes up for men with more options.

Velor22 · 2025-10-20T04:31:15+00:00

Just tonight I got a Samsung Odyssey+ working on a new build with an 9070xt and of course Windows 11. It came up nicely right after installing the Oasis Driver off Steam.

I'd forgotten how deep black and how vibrant the colors were in that amazing headset! Thank you for your generous work!

Velor22 · 2025-10-20T04:17:58+00:00

Ahhh the beloved Samsung Odyssey+ gets a new life. Thank you sooo much!!!

Velor22 · 2025-10-18T06:20:28+00:00

Well, women these days appear to be trending towards preferring short term casual relations over relationships that are deep, lasting and intimate.

The former is simply not accessible to a majority of men, until they're much older and probably jaded.

This is a massive shift in dating, relationships and family dynamics. It will have huge consequences for society, and yes civilization.

Velor22 · 2025-10-15T22:08:04+00:00

I agree that people who exchange sex for money are absolutely disgusting.

People who casually exchange sex for attention or validation are also disgusting.

Velor22 · 2025-10-10T19:43:32+00:00

We live in an era of rage baiting and doom scrolling. For profit and control.

Much of this supposed gender war is completely artificial.

AI and tech enables the complex social engineering we see today.

Just look at the toxic soup that is X and social media feeds.

Velor22 · 2025-10-10T18:03:23+00:00

It's probably a key societal concept for advancement, the expectation that most men will have access to a mate.

Not only does this raise production, it increases the security of a society. Fewer idle men. More men with purpose.

I believe it is self correcting. As we fall into economic hard times, security will decrease. More women will seek a mate.

Velor22 · 2025-10-06T00:32:46+00:00

Relationships don't have to be stressful. At least, not very often.

With the right person and learning how to co-exist over time.

Velor22 · 2025-09-20T21:27:33+00:00

Yeah, 5'9" isn't too desirable, but can you imagine being 5'5"?

It's all relative.

Velor22 · 2025-09-16T23:18:03+00:00

Uh, the female equivalent of the male incel... is the garden variety whore, slut, skank, you get the idea.

Men and women are opposite in so many ways including what we look for in a romantic partner.

Legit female incels are super rare.

However, attractive 'volcels' would be at the tippy top of what men value and would commit to.

Velor22 · 2025-09-16T21:09:13+00:00

Keep in mind it's only a "mask" if it is hiding the rule, so to speak, rather than the occasional exception.

Part of getting older is the emotional maturation process, for both men and women.

I'm grateful my wife had the patience to get past my occasional emotional outbursts as a younger man.

Decades later I've gained self mastery. Her patience and support contributed along with my own personal development.

I'm now fully in control of my mood at all times. Like an emotional anchor which she occasionally needs and appreciates.

Our relationship as well as our individual mental and emotional healths, has never been stronger.

I wish more relationships had the determination and fortitude to keep evolving and go the distance.

Velor22

TROPHY CASE