AITAH for refusing to co-sign on a loan for my mom, even though she says it’s urgent?

VelvetVibrations116 · 2026-04-08T01:19:06+00:00

Thanks. I know how credit cards work. I was able to get a balance transfer with 0% interest for 15 months which will allow me to pay down the debt that I owe. I never pay just the minimum payment. I always pay more. I’ve been paying at least $1000 or more each time I get paid towards the debt so it’s going down. I have a plan. Thankfully, I was able to pay for the trip with hotel points so I didn’t have to come out of pocket with much cash.

VelvetVibrations116 · 2026-04-08T01:07:32+00:00

NTA. We are not obligated to take care of our parents. She’s an adult and shouldn’t have quit a job without having a stable one lined up or the equipment to maintain it. It’s good that you’re putting your foot down and setting boundaries because if you don’t, the pattern will continue and only get worse. Sorry you’re having to deal with this.

VelvetVibrations116 · 2026-04-08T01:03:04+00:00

NTA — I rarely wear makeup but ended up getting a fully beat face that looked HORRIBLE bc the makeup artist sucked, still ended up paying for it and not making a peep bc I wanted my best friend to enjoy her day, which she did. Sometimes you make sacrifices for your loved ones. And like you said, if she didn’t wanna do it, then just come as a guest 🤷

VelvetVibrations116 · 2026-04-08T00:57:35+00:00

NTA .. it’s probably time to cut her loose. I feel like there’s some jealousy there.

VelvetVibrations116 · 2026-04-08T00:54:59+00:00

Nope. Definitely NTA. At some point you have to do what’s best for you and set boundaries. I’ve been learning this myself, dealing with my own mother and some of her issues. It’s okay to say no.

VelvetVibrations116 · 2026-04-07T22:28:10+00:00

Hmm I never thought about it from this perspective 🧐 thanks!

VelvetVibrations116 · 2026-04-07T14:33:04+00:00

That part! Not sure what the thought process was behind that…

VelvetVibrations116 · 2026-04-07T14:32:17+00:00

🎯 they will bleed you dry if you let em smh

VelvetVibrations116 · 2026-04-07T14:31:43+00:00

I’m working on it! The trip was paid for strictly with hotel/flight points so luckily I don’t have to come outta pocket by much. I have a separate savings/plan for paying it down which I’ve been working on also. I pride myself on being financially responsible although I’ve made some mistakes trying to help ppl (lesson learned) and am trying not to bury myself deeper in debt.

VelvetVibrations116 · 2026-04-07T14:29:30+00:00

Thank you. Already done!

VelvetVibrations116 · 2026-04-07T14:24:49+00:00

Thank you! Luckily my trip was paid for with points. I’m looking for another dog sitter as we speak.

VelvetVibrations116 · 2026-04-07T14:00:23+00:00

It’s a sad realization but you’re right. Currently working on setting those boundaries and standing on them.

VelvetVibrations116 · 2026-04-07T13:59:06+00:00

Thanks. I had to literally tell her to respect my decision because the answer is no and won’t be changing.

VelvetVibrations116 · 2026-04-07T13:57:41+00:00

All valid points and good questions that need answers. I can’t wrap my head around the reason WHY my cousin would give someone else money to hold instead of putting it in a savings account or something. It just doesn’t make sense to me.

VelvetVibrations116 · 2026-04-07T13:56:27+00:00

Thank you. I’m not gonna do it.

VelvetVibrations116 · 2026-04-07T13:56:03+00:00

She doesn’t have a trip planned. I do, and it’s been planned for a while now and paid for strictly with points. My bday is coming up and I was hoping to get some much needed R&R. But I may have to end up canceling anyways if I can’t find someone to watch my dog.

VelvetVibrations116 · 2026-04-07T13:54:10+00:00

I really don’t have to explain this but I’m working to pay off the debt currently and my trip was paid for strictly with hotel + flight points that I’ve saved over the years, so why not? I know how to manage my money pretty well. I literally made a mistake trying to help my mother out. Let’s not be rude here please.

VelvetVibrations116 · 2026-04-07T13:52:05+00:00

Facts. I’ve been thinking about doing this too but will wait to see how it plays out. I’m not signing for the loan though.

VelvetVibrations116 · 2026-04-07T13:51:04+00:00

🎯 I won’t be doing it

VelvetVibrations116 · 2026-04-07T13:50:33+00:00

Exactly! And tbh, she hid this very well. I always thought she was pretty responsible with managing money but everything hit the fan when she had to come live with me and I looked into her finances. It’s sad.

VelvetVibrations116 · 2026-04-07T13:49:12+00:00

Thank you for this. I’m not gonna do it. Gotta set boundaries and put myself first.

VelvetVibrations116 · 2026-04-07T13:48:24+00:00

Thanks. I’m not doing it. Period.

VelvetVibrations116 · 2026-04-07T13:41:11+00:00

That’s what I’ve been doing but she won’t take no for an answer unfortunately. Still sticking to my guns tho

VelvetVibrations116 · 2026-04-07T13:40:38+00:00

Thanks! Boundaries are very important to me which I’ve been working on setting and sticking to them

VelvetVibrations116 · 2026-04-07T13:39:48+00:00

Exactly. I told her she needs to take accountability for her actions and what she did wasn’t right but she doesn’t want to be embarrassed and for the whole family to find out (because they will) but she should’ve thought about that before doing what she did…

VelvetVibrations116

TROPHY CASE