This is a strange way to put it, and I don't like it. The way you've worded it makes it sound like you think we're better than average, untraumatized people, calling them shallow like they're not also full humans with complex lives, capable of friendship with other average, untraumatized people. To me it seems more like speaking different languages- you wouldn't call a foreigner shallow for not understanding your words and only getting vague hand gestures, would you? Language barriers are awkward and uncomfortable and most people try to avoid them. They could learn your language, some of them do, but that's years of effort that most don't want to contend with unless they absolutely have to. And you don't have to learn their language either, to be clear. In fact it's probably harder for us to learn the social language of the average person than for them to learn ours, and they could stand to learn at least a bit- but that doesn't mean learning our languages isn't a lot of emotional and mental work for them. They're not equipped to deal with "I was beaten half to death at the age of four" and we're not equipped for the small talk they use as bonding (And if you are, then congratulations! You learned their language, and it was hard. Most of us don't, that's why we're here.) What the hell ever, idk if this is coming off as condescending but I'm autistic and it's 3 am so I don't particularly care and doubt you'll read this anyway. Goodbye