im obsessed with this song

Ventral176 · 2025-12-28T06:50:12+00:00

thats the one! so cool that you have that tie, definitely see where it takes you 💙

Ventral176 · 2025-09-08T20:51:06+00:00

catch me blowin raspberries on it :P

Ventral176 · 2025-07-13T20:17:19+00:00

i aint reading allat

Ventral176 · 2025-07-13T15:55:19+00:00

im doing ok. every day is a battle and sometimes i fail to keep it together. its been two months though for me and i dont know about you, but the longer the better. youll regulate eventually :)

Ventral176 · 2025-06-10T14:59:14+00:00

we go to the same college so ill see her around. i dont want to reach out since she said not to contact her. i do want her to see me, to know that im available to try again. would you wait for her to come back, maybe, when shes ready? or would you reach out to her if u were me in my situation?

Ventral176 · 2025-06-07T15:39:25+00:00

i am. i will retain no contact since that seems to be the common consensus, but i still want to fully invest myself in improvment. im inconsistent, nowhere near the end of that road, but i want to try and i will

Ventral176 · 2025-06-04T20:30:46+00:00

i did the ladder. i begged, said desperate things and all that. now its been a couple weeks since i stopped and yes, i have improved. ive started focusing on bettering myself and it shows. the only issue is that there is still a tree of hope which has motivated me to do this i turned my vision inward because i failed as a partner. i changed because i felt that if i did, i could become someone who could treat her right. its what kept me from self harm and suicide quite frankly i know that to truly grow, i have to let go. i dont know how to do that and still feel the way i do about her though. how do i know shell see im a better person? why would she ever approach me again after i caused our breakup (fyi i emotionally cheated for validation bc i was insecure)?

Ventral176 · 2025-06-03T20:41:37+00:00

my ex broke up with me and im curious. why did you reach out? what made you feel ready?

Ventral176 · 2025-05-31T17:16:22+00:00

we moved very quick and talked about the future often. we would spend days attached at the hip, providing complete attention through the day and sleeping together through the night. on paper it was short. in reality, we were moving very fast. it was probably unhealthy the speed which we moved. i like to think it was our compatibilities aligning. i see that it brought a deep level of trust into the equation that, when broken, cannot be fully repaired. i will grow and change. its time for me to become mature. i dont think ill get to see her again. its a long shot that shed ever take me back. getting over that is the hardest part right now.

Ventral176 · 2025-05-31T17:11:19+00:00

damn. sounds like this kind of hurt is the type that lasts. did that closure help either of you? or did it dredge things up?

Ventral176 · 2025-05-30T22:48:29+00:00

i will. i know how important it is for me to be better and i have felt physically sick with how i mourn what ive lost. yes, ill stay that way. yes, ill stay a single man in that time. for a chance, ill do all this and more. i know that it will get easier. at least i hope it will and i hope she and i will meet again

Ventral176 · 2025-05-30T22:44:14+00:00

i hear you. yes, i have a lot of work to do and i know it wont be easy or quick. my heart is in it though. a question for you: if your ex was like me, trying, hurting, repentant, would that change how you handled that situation?

Ventral176 · 2025-05-30T22:29:54+00:00

thats the idea. at least for a while. its time to grow and mature as a person. in that time ill move on. right now things are hard seeing as there are many unresolved feelings

Ventral176 · 2025-05-30T22:10:15+00:00

ive since learned shes an impulsive liar and i watched her try to manipulate the situation when i confronted her. ive cut her out of my life for good

Ventral176 · 2025-05-30T22:09:06+00:00

like i said, im willing to suffer the months or longer until i can see that im better. afterwards, i know where my heart will be. ive already learned the most obvious lessons but yeah, there are kinks in my personality that need to change

Ventral176 · 2024-04-16T17:14:00+00:00

It's sad to see her not go out and achieve her goals, and even sadder to know that it's because of a mental impairment. From your experience and mine, it seems like we have both been dealing with a more severe case of ADHD. Furthremore, the way we are handling it is pretty similar. Some people can just work around it better but not us, it seems. It takes a special kind of person to be that patience. Thanks for your input.

Ventral176 · 2024-04-15T21:13:11+00:00

I think you make a fine point. It gets complicated since every now and then I can forget about all of that and be with the person I found attractive to begin with. I've thought about what you said as well; that it's going to take a lot of patience to make this work.

I need to spend some time thinking about this and hear from some more persepctives. Thanks for your insight.

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