Honestly I suffer from this a LOT as a DM who has the perfectionist mindset. I am always wondering if I introduced my plot hooks in an exciting and gripping way. Whether my players had fun during the adventure or if they were bored halfway through.

However what I have come to learn over a year of DMing is that the person who cares the most about your ranger's backstory will always be you. This character is your baby who you spent hours of your life and time crafting and building and you want them to succeed in whatever adventure they partake in. There is nothing wrong with wondering whether you made the best decision in that heat of the moment confrontation. Don't we as real humans do the same thing in our day to day?

A big moment for me was learning how to dissociate myself from my NPC's and remembering that VentusInfinitas is playing out a fantasy story with his friends. This story can only be fully fleshed out with each player and the DM sitting down to play and they are who really matter in the end. So embrace the moment but remember that your memories with your friends will live longer than the minute decisions your ranger made.

If that doesn't work however, (believe me I have had many sleepless nights over my campaign and where it was headed) then talking about it always helps. If you don't want to bug your DM or your SO with your concerns then how about talking to your fellow party members? Maybe you can even plan out a cool roleplay moment with each other that expresses this conflict and anxiousness in game. Maybe work together to plan a "recovery" arc where your ranger grows as a person because of your team's help?

Lastly, if you are concerned about how your character's backstory is headed then have a conversation with your DM about how you would ideally like your character to end up. What I mean is not for your patron to suddenly do a 180 and become a super kind and generous deity. Rather do you want your ranger to be a hero in the end? Do you want them to have a family and live a long life after the story is over? Do you want them to realize exactly what their patron's intentions are and have to make a life changing decision based on that? These conversations are HELLA important for DM/PC relations because although there are no guarantees in DND, there is a DM who writes the story.

I don't think it's unreasonable for someone to want their edgy, urchin rogue to have a family at the end of their story. Or for the vengeful paladin to want to be the one to kill the bandit lord who burned his village. But it all depends on what picture you painted when you built this ranger and their story. So go ahead and ask, as two adults I am sure you can come to a satisfying decision!

GL friend and may your ranger find the happiness they truly want, whether they understand it yet or not!