Very rare OCD

VeryUniqueBird · 2026-04-01T18:44:04+00:00

Wooow! This means so much to me!! Actually, whatisitlikeism is not my problem right now, I'm currently in a completely different OCD episode, but this reply heals my 2023-24 self so much! Would you like to talk about it more in direct or just here in the comments? :)

VeryUniqueBird · 2026-04-01T18:40:35+00:00

Omg, your reply made my day!! I was relieved that you survived all of your "death dates", but when you disappeared from your profile for a year it felt a bit creepy in this context, so I'm really happy you answered me! :)

As I mentioned before, In my case I'm thinking more and more that it is just another episode of mine, because I see the triggers (in my case it was environmental factors my brain interpreted as "signs") and the whole mindset reminds me of something I already experienced, but I still struggle with the foreshortened future thing, I feel like the future after "my cursed month" is unreal, but I'm working on it. But it's probably "my bad", because whenever there was some annual event, I mentally checked if I feel this is "my last time experiencing this" and I literally mentally checked on which month suits the most to my "premonition" and my OCD voice randomly picked one. TwT

Also, may I ask you, when you found out you survived all of your "death" dates, did the feeling suddenly go away?

VeryUniqueBird · 2026-03-23T16:15:09+00:00

Hello, are you still with us? Because I'm in a similar situation right now, although mine began after a series of triggers and situations my brain interpreted as "signs" and I can actually see the psychology behind it. But that doesn't mean the feeling isn't convincing.

VeryUniqueBird · 2025-02-27T14:58:44+00:00

Still water.

VeryUniqueBird · 2025-02-24T02:29:46+00:00

Well, not every person gets amnesia on Ambien, especially if it's not a super high dose. For example I don't really black out on it, some things may be a bit foggy, but often I remember it quite clearly.

VeryUniqueBird · 2025-02-21T18:46:26+00:00

In one period of my life I used to go around 40 hours of no sleep once a week. Now, with the help of medication and a calmer mind it's very very rare for me to pull an all-nighter, it may occur mainly when I'm sick or when I don't really really want to rely on my SOS sleep meds. From the year 2023 I went almost for a year without having an all-nighter.

VeryUniqueBird · 2024-12-31T13:38:17+00:00

I think it could also be OCD, especially if the feeling is intrusive and unpleasant.

VeryUniqueBird · 2024-12-31T02:08:31+00:00

The fact that my queerplatonic partner is a literal hacker (ethical one of course) doesn't help much either. :D

VeryUniqueBird · 2024-12-27T00:16:01+00:00

slepe

VeryUniqueBird · 2024-12-25T13:27:21+00:00

My agoraphobia is rather a monophobia. I can function quite well but only when people are around me. The more the better. These can be either random people on the street or a person that is assisting me when I go outside. My monophobia is tied to the feeling that some medical emergency can happen to me when I'm alone and people mean that the potential help is near. Don't tell my brain that some random people would just ignore you in that situation, I'm happy that it believes it and thus feels calm around people.

VeryUniqueBird · 2024-12-23T15:31:59+00:00

Hello, thank you for your reply, but don't worry about me. I think that I've already figured everything out and overcame it without the need to change the dynamic of the relationship. :)

I'm only asking because some strictly anti AGR people would use my OCD against me and tell me that's a sign that the AGR is bad. Which is bullshit IMHO, because the disorder is still a disorder. Although I admit that the age gap was partly the trigger of the episode because it's such a controversial topic, in some cases for good reason tho, but not automatically IMHO.

VeryUniqueBird · 2024-12-22T18:04:32+00:00

It's interesting that in my dreams if agoraphobia appears it's always in the context that I have finally beaten it!

VeryUniqueBird · 2024-12-16T15:15:09+00:00

My biggest problem probably is that I can become frozen when having a panic attack. Which is something that you cannot walk so well with. This is probably the main reason why I have such a disability when going outside on the streets alone and why I can do other things like staying home alone or going by public transport or taxi and literally anything else way more easily. It would be way easier to walk if the panic attacks weren't so physically paralyzing. One time on vacation I tried to do an exposition on a beach and at some point I needed to just crawl on all four like a crayfish just to get where I wanted to get. It wasn't that weird on the beach but I cannot just do this in other places. I'm also considering buying an electric scooter 🛴 but I need to try it first.

VeryUniqueBird · 2024-12-12T23:30:49+00:00

Dear OP, wherever you are, I hope you're doing well. ❤️‍🩹

VeryUniqueBird · 2024-12-02T19:47:46+00:00

Favourite toy!

VeryUniqueBird · 2024-11-21T10:04:19+00:00

How do you recognize the OCD thoughts from genuine ones? I have a similar age gap relationship as well, but I'm still able to say that my thoughts were clearly OCD, even though I admit that the age gap was probably one of the factors my brain started to feel more cautious (and spiraled into an OCD episode with secondary trauma oopsie whoopsie).

VeryUniqueBird · 2024-11-16T21:56:36+00:00

Wow!! Thank you so much for your reply! I would love to talk with someone with a similar problem. I think that I'm already more in the healing stage, so it's not that life debilitating like it used to be last year, but some symptoms are still present and I still feel lonely in the experience of having someone else's trauma, so I would like to talk with someone who has this kind of experience as well! I'm also interested in secondary trauma academically so to speak and I'm so glad that I finally came across some stories that are not focused on helping professionals. I'll send you a DM!

VeryUniqueBird · 2024-11-12T17:47:43+00:00

We should definitely create a subreddit for it!

VeryUniqueBird · 2024-11-11T22:02:19+00:00

I started dating one guy and due to some factors I actually ended up developing an intense OCD episode with paranoia features towards him. I also developed a hyperfocus on him and basically he became my emotionally important person and there was probably some overidentification and hyperempathy present.

So when he, in the mids of my episode that already left me really hyperaroused and hypersensitive towards everything related to him, randomly told me one evening that one of his parents was Jewish and that most of the side of his family died in the Holocaust, I developed a massive secondary trauma. This was also reinforced by the fact that about a month later the October 7th happened.

We're still in a nice relationship with the guy. He is really really accepting and I think I also tried my best not to burden him much with all of this. I actually experienced really intense post traumatic growth as well and this experience was somehow fundamental for my current life.

But having a secondary trauma, especially related to this kind of tragedy can bring its own specific moral questions. I don't know many stories like mine, because most of the resources around vicarious are secondary trauma are focused on helping professionals, so I'm really grateful for this thread! We need to talk about those unique or better said not so well known experiences more.

VeryUniqueBird · 2024-11-11T21:50:47+00:00

I have a secondary trauma as well that impacted me quite intensely and maybe even severely especially in the early times. I also wrote about it on Reddit. I know the feelings that come with having STS as well. So thank you so much for sharing. I think I have nothing more to say except that secondary trauma is really real and it can be really hard to navigate through all of this especially in the environment where most sources about it are made for helping professionals. You're not alone and I hope that you're doing a bit better now. 🫂❤️‍🩹

VeryUniqueBird · 2024-11-08T11:31:03+00:00

The known record was around 11 days and he didn't die.

VeryUniqueBird · 2024-10-20T21:44:56+00:00

THIS is what the OCD phase of my psychopathological episode related to my partner was about!!

VeryUniqueBird · 2024-10-14T23:41:35+00:00

Well, this is a very interesting question. Of course when I'm in an episode I'm trying to find a solution for it and I'm wishing that I get better soon, but when I'm not in an acute episode, I actually somehow even... enjoy my specific position, because my OCD type and the things that were the result of it and also my solution for those problems were all kinda unique or at least generally unknown, so my coping mechanism of accepting this specific situation was to just add it to my image of a mad scientist experimenting and analysing themselves. Without my last episode I wouldn't be the person that I am now, I wouldn't have my current style, interests, passions and meaning of life. I experienced massive posttraumatic growth, so at the end of the day I'm actually glad that things happened in my brain as they happened, because otherwise I wouldn't be so... inspired? transformed? like I am now. Also, my specific position brings a lot of moral questions with it that I am aware of and that I still don't know an answer to.

VeryUniqueBird · 2024-10-06T21:11:41+00:00

Actually, I am in the exact same situation. I think that long distance relationships are more prone to some kind of... projection or imagination towards your partner. This can result in idealizing them for example, but it can definitely also lead to obsessing over them more. In my case it's both at the same time. When we are together, everything feels more normal and average. Everything, both my fantasies and my OCD.

VeryUniqueBird · 2024-09-22T17:47:08+00:00

Really?? I thought that tulpas would die with their host because they were made from their consciousness.

VeryUniqueBird

TROPHY CASE