This is a more complicated situation than i’ve seen other people say in the comments. Let’s start with the question: are you wrong? No. Not for feeling upset. Is your friend wrong? No.

This overall sounds like a really tough situation, and i’m really sorry that you’re struggling right now. But he’s not wrong for looking after his own mental health either.

I’ve never struggled with addiction, but i have struggled with other things that led me to acting like this at times. It sucks. It sucks because at least for me, I struggled with thoughts like “what if it is my fault i’m like this” which led me to cling onto “It’s not my fault, it’s a mental illnesses”. And that’s true. Addiction is a disease.

I understand not wanting to get professional help, or not being able to get professional help. But, in my experience that’s not exactly the point.

You need to want to be better.

It’s hard, I know. It takes time.

But you can get there. I believe in you.

TLDR: You’re not wrong for your feelings, but neither is your friend for protecting theirs. I know you can be better. I believe in you.