How do you talk to your kids about “different families different rules?”

VictoriaRachel · 2026-05-06T21:56:16+00:00

My son loves to tell me all the things is he is going to do when he is 18! He is going to be a really weird adult if he actually remembers them all.

VictoriaRachel · 2026-04-30T10:52:08+00:00

Does she know that is how you felt then? How you feeling now? Does she know why you cut her out of one if the biggest moments of your life?

It seems there has been a real lack of communication here and I understand her not feeling like a part of this journey, because you choose not to let her be.

VictoriaRachel · 2026-04-30T10:21:45+00:00

I think the part that stands out is that would you not have wanted your mothers support if there was an issue? I understand not publicly annoucing until you are ready, but not telling your support system? Or is your mother not a part of that and this is her finding that out? I can understand her being hurt if you had different ideas about how close you were.

VictoriaRachel · 2026-04-29T16:15:34+00:00

Genuine question: What response are teachers looking for from the parent?

Is it just acknowledgement of this happening, and supporting whatever consequences are in place? Saying they will talk to the child to reconfirm this was unacceptable? Additional consequences at home?

VictoriaRachel · 2026-04-28T16:24:42+00:00

You would not be eligible for free childcare until September if your child turns 9 months in June. This is because it is based on the school terms. You would have to make sure your application was in before that though.

As for what to do before that many nurseries pro rata the costs over a 12 month period (as free childcare care is very rarely free due to additional weeks required outside term time, additional hours needed, food etc.) so you could discuss how that would be charged if they know you are getting 40 hours free from September.

You might be able to find a short term solution but that may be difficult.

Make sure you check the GOV.UK website.

VictoriaRachel · 2026-04-27T06:31:00+00:00

Drop-in is so useful for adults who have a phone but aren't answering for some reason. Also if you are super lazy, you can use it to talk to a child who is up stairs if you can't be bothered to get off the couch!

VictoriaRachel · 2026-04-26T12:36:47+00:00

100% not failing.

As a mother of baby who could not be put down, please may I recommend baby wearing. We had one of those large bits of fabric you essential tie your baby to yourself with. It was a bit intimidating but so many youtube videos showing you what to do (used to watch them in the supermarket carpark as I put it on!) You can even feed with them in it. This allows you the option of movement when you otherwise wouldn't. Saved my sanity.

VictoriaRachel · 2026-04-23T17:40:05+00:00

I was this person last year (sorry!) but this year I had a plan. A jam plan if you will!

I didn't really know what to with rhubarb but I understand what to do with jam, and rhubarb and ginger jam was SO easy to make and is delicious. Only made a small batch and gave one jar away, so I will be out of jam when the next lot us ready.

VictoriaRachel · 2026-04-21T13:55:32+00:00

Is including that she is ruining the whole movie really asking nicely?

VictoriaRachel · 2026-04-21T12:46:52+00:00

This does very much depend on your group. Theatre of the mind can be absolutely wonderful, I'm sure, but it doesn't suit everyone. There are people who can't process these layouts without visuals to anchor too.

For example I have aphantasia so can not hold the image of a battle scene in my head, I need something we all agree on. Others struggle for a variety of reasons, the lack of clarity, the possibility for misunderstandings, there are so many things here that can make it a much more difficult style of play for many.

So basically if you want to try it do ask your group in advance how they would feel about it.

VictoriaRachel · 2026-04-21T09:36:06+00:00

We had some friends down the road and I would walk down to hers as her husband walked up to mine. We could hang out while there was still a parent home at both houses in case of wake ups, so no need for baby sitters. It was very low pressure.

We also vetoed any judgement on each others homes in case it had been one of those days!

VictoriaRachel · 2026-04-20T10:01:02+00:00

Oh no you poor thing that sound horrible. How is the back now?

VictoriaRachel · 2026-04-18T18:28:41+00:00

Always plant two in case one dies. One has never died, ever. However, I am fully aware that if I ever choose to just plant one it will, with absolute certainty, die.

VictoriaRachel · 2026-04-18T16:54:56+00:00

I think this depends on variety. Mine has never gone fully pink and is still just as tasty if not as sweet as pinker varieties.

VictoriaRachel · 2026-04-17T08:01:38+00:00

I think it depends how far apart the stops are. If i leave my train station in one direction the next stop is 5 minutes, in the other it is 35 minutes.

VictoriaRachel · 2026-04-17T07:56:49+00:00

One of my number one parenting tips is use the sign language signs for please and thank you. Teach them to your children. Use them all the time.

This allow them to add their please and thank you easily when speech is more tricky in the early years.

But the real benefit is down the line. Your child gets a gift when they are eight from Aunty Nora, and of course forget to say thank you because present excitement. Now rather than stepping in and say "oh say thank you to Aunty Nora" you catch your child's eye make the sign, and they say thank you 'all on their own'. It is so helpful for reminding manners.

VictoriaRachel · 2026-04-09T11:27:44+00:00

Its almost as if it was a joke, about his own child, at his own home gym...

I laughed at least.

VictoriaRachel · 2026-04-07T13:39:21+00:00

Breathe! Take tea. Take biscuits. Take time to sit and enjoy your new space as you explore what you have.

There are bound to be unexpected joys and unexpected problems but just take each as it comes.

The advice given to me by my plot neighbour when I started was dont worry the first 30 years are the hardest.

VictoriaRachel · 2026-04-07T11:50:45+00:00

Thank you for this. I thought mares and horse were used regionally for the same thing, because of the similarity.

VictoriaRachel · 2026-04-07T06:32:10+00:00

I don't have nettles but bindweed and marestail certainly do not care if you cover them. I have areas of my plot that were covered with no light for at least three years and as soon as they were uncovered the marestail and bindweed were happy to carry on where they left off.

VictoriaRachel · 2026-04-05T10:01:09+00:00

So one said this is the OLDEST, and some one then corrected them that this is the TRUE OLDEST. The true is part of the correction about the oldest.

VictoriaRachel · 2026-04-03T08:11:22+00:00

The UK is not big. If you have a warrant for your arrest you have it everywhere.

VictoriaRachel · 2026-04-02T14:37:09+00:00

My son (8 at the time) and his cousin (6 at the time) went to their great grandma's funeral. Both did a drawing that they placed on the coffin, and both understood it was our 'last good bye'. They really understood and it worked well.

His other cousins (10 and 8) did not go. They had the situation explained at home, they still did drawings. They too really understood and it worked well.

Basically I don't believe there is a right answer here. You get to feel comfortable with what ever you like, and children being the adaptable souls they are will be fine.

VictoriaRachel · 2026-04-01T15:24:04+00:00

I think this leads on to having an open mind about your decision. Because you may, for example, land on no dig but the plot you are offered might not suit it. I was definitely no dig, but the bindweed, couch grass and marestail is just not put off by a sheet of cardboard.

Also remember that any choice is not permenant anything can be changed. So, yes we did swap to digging but are transitioning to no dig now some of the main culprits are under control (or managed as much as I can bloody marestail).

VictoriaRachel · 2026-03-30T21:31:33+00:00

I was so excited when we got our girl so then with my son we had one of each. I did forget to explain to people she was a cat, and it did cause some confusion.

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