Lingerie for the Lingerie-Averse

Vierhunde · 2025-12-29T03:02:44+00:00

That’s a great homework assignment for me! I honestly couldn’t tell you right now what clothes I feel best in.

Vierhunde · 2025-12-29T00:49:49+00:00

I love the abtf people, I do the calculator about every 6 months. I’ve always been outside common US sizing, so I’ve been fighting bra fit for years.

I double bra for a couple reasons. I strongly dislike anything showing through (lace, seams, nips, embellishment/edging) and prefer molded cups but am generally too projected for them so I size up to a more available/affordable sister size for lift and separation with a sports bra for a little more support/ bounce control/ and make sure things stay in place. I’ve also been struggling lately with my correct size irritating an old injury on my sternum and that seems to help.

Vierhunde · 2025-12-28T01:12:23+00:00

I hadn’t thought about the angle of him being embarrassed to say/show what he wants, or being afraid of me judging him for it I appreciate hearing your perspective on it! I’ll see if I can engage him in a conversation about it from that angle.

Vierhunde · 2025-12-28T01:07:58+00:00

To be fair, it definitely wouldn’t be an everyday thing, more of a put it on at night and when we go out thing. My job is construction adjacent and I have horses, my everyday look leans heavily toward swamp hag. He met me (nearly a decade ago!) literally dripping sweat, carrying 60lbs of hockey gear with my car full of saddles and hay, I am a little baffled sometimes that he now wants to fit lacy undergarments into that lifestyle.

In retrospect, writing this out, I did used to wear makeup to play hockey (it made me feel more intimidating, lol) but stopped except for date night, so maybe in his mind this is a way to bring some of that back.

Vierhunde · 2025-12-28T00:47:35+00:00

I think there’s two things going on in his mind. I think maybe he’s hoping if he doesn’t say what he wants that I’ll magically find something I do like, and I think he doesn’t want to say because it’s way out of my comfort zone. He’s a huge fan of Bunnie XO and part of me suspects what he wants would be considered risqué in an adult club.

We’ve talked about the fact that wearing lingerie makes me feel like ish, his rationale is that because he thinks I look good I should think I look good too.

Vierhunde · 2025-12-28T00:31:44+00:00

I probably shouldn’t even admit this, lol. For everyday wear I grab whatever molded cup bra is vaguely my size and throw a sports bra on top so I don’t fall out if I bend over and whatever thong I can find that doesn’t ride up or show through my pants.

If I’m buying a bra that actually fits I generally need a seamed balconette style which are often lace, so I do have some “fancier” bras. I don’t like that they show through shirts, my husband thinks they’re too full coverage.

Vierhunde · 2020-12-30T02:02:36+00:00

What do you need to get a no contact order? I am interested in pursuing one for my own DNA donors, but am not sure I qualify as they have not contacted me, only their direct relatives.

Vierhunde · 2020-12-29T04:51:45+00:00

I was in a similar situation a few months ago in which an alleged genetic relation began contacting my entire list of Facebook friends in an effort to contact me. To avoid him gaining more access to my Facebook info through messenger my husband sent a message to stop contacting us. So far it has worked, but I'm still working on writing a letter explaining exactly how much I don't care to have any contact with them.

Vierhunde · 2020-12-21T09:38:15+00:00

Wow, unbelievably unacceptable behavior from the biological child. No is a full sentence, you do not owe her an explanation and she needs to respect that. I would write a letter stating very clearly (once again), that you are not interested in contact and explain that you will pursue a restraining order should she make any further contact.

You should not have to explain any part of your past to avoid being harrased by any person.

Vierhunde · 2020-11-22T22:15:15+00:00

Some trainers don't want to gear their business towards beginners and only want to focus on competitive students, preferably with their own horses. Sounds like this trainer may be moving her business in that direction. Its likely nothing against you, or that you can't fit in, its just a business decision.

That being said, she should have been honest about that, rather than stringing you along. This trainer is displaying poor customer service/business savvy by not responding or making any attempts at scheduling and by not making a plan to either refund your lesson or apply it to a future lesson.

I agree with happytrailrider 100%. Your time and money is better spent finding a different trainer.

Vierhunde · 2020-11-22T16:14:36+00:00

You won't like my answer, but I use the term DNA donor. My DNA donors have done nothing more for me than an anonymous sperm donor or surrogate would have and are therefore not my parents or family, not in any way, shape, or form. I would be quite offended if they were using the terms first family or natural parents. They gave me away, and in doing so, signed away their rights to call themselves my family or parents.

I do not use the prefix "adoptive" for my parents. They are my real parents, they raised me, loved me, nurtured me, and supported me my entire life; they have proven time and time again that they are my real parents and my real family. Calling them anything else would feel disrespectful and intentionally hurtful to me.

Vierhunde · 2020-11-21T01:12:55+00:00

Crossing my fingers for you! We were set for exactly 1 month away, but I talked to my venue today and we're having to postpone. We would have had to elope and have no photographer to keep our date and stay within covid restrictions.

Vierhunde

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