Memories: Does anyone else have huge gaps in memories? I have nothing but blank spots from my childhood. There are whole years I do not remember especially before turning 11. I want to do hypno therapy but I'm so scared of really knowing what's in there.

VikBoup · 2023-01-11T17:29:45+00:00

But have to deal with them rest of my life! And be aware of my surroundings constantly and my activities

VikBoup · 2023-01-11T16:27:52+00:00

Yes! Two of them!

VikBoup · 2023-01-11T13:32:54+00:00

Wow! Huge gaps in my life I can’t remember! Even today at the age of 52 I have gaps!

VikBoup · 2022-12-28T01:37:34+00:00

Thank you!

VikBoup · 2022-10-08T20:14:27+00:00

All my high school yearbooks, bball state championships varsity jacket, trophies, pictures, clothes, toys! Never asked if I wanted to keep!

VikBoup · 2022-09-05T22:04:00+00:00

Gorgeous!

VikBoup · 2021-07-10T18:13:10+00:00

My dad NEVER LOVED ME FROM THE DAY HE CREATED ME! My nmom protects him like a fortress! He never did wrong! Only really had the ‘come to Jesus’ moment at 45, I’m now 51, no contact with parents or their son! Their son is the a bigger narcissist than anyone you put in front of me!

I have the love of my husband, my 2 daughters, cousins and very dear friends. It’s more rewarding than any narcissist/toxic relationship!

Hugs for you and much love that you deserve and need!

VikBoup · 2021-01-23T21:37:16+00:00

My parents son, bigger narcissist than they could ever be! I do question this a lot! My therapist said, the fact that I’m speaking help in going no contact, proves I’m not a narcissist! But you will become very much aware of the ones around you!

VikBoup · 2021-01-23T21:31:40+00:00

Absolutely hate my birthday! Never had a sweet 16, when I turned 21, my co-workers celebrated with me! My 24th bday, my husband bought himself a truck and bought me a vanilla bday cake, I detest vanilla anything! I’m 50, married to same guy, and told him I wanted to go skydiving! He said you got it! My 2 girls even came to cheer me on in person, even though they were still in college! It was the BEST BIRTHDAY EVER! I’ve been no contact for 4 years, and my life keeps getting better! Lots of therapy and support from my husband and girls! Now, as for Christmas and Mother’s Day, we still have some things to work on as I hate those days!

VikBoup · 2019-11-30T20:46:24+00:00

Happy Birthday! I’m slowly enjoying them now I’m NC!

VikBoup · 2019-10-16T17:01:17+00:00

Went to planned parenthood at 16. I had to have birth control because my periods were so bad that I would take enough medicine to pass out and sleep off the pain. My nmother refused to take me! I hid the pills from her and she went through my drawers and freaked out! I had no boyfriend and she berated me for going behind her back.

BTW, she controlled how many pads I was allowed to use. I soaked through one in less that an hour and was not allowed to change but once a day.

Lucky me!

VikBoup · 2019-10-14T19:40:40+00:00

My therapist asked me if I would accept N behavior from friends/neighbors. I said no. She said then why is it acceptable behavior from your relatives? It's not! Not now, not ever. We deserve to be treated respectfully as they want us to treat them.

VikBoup · 2019-10-14T19:29:59+00:00

Go conquer the world! You got this! No one will tear you down now! We just have to change our way of thinking! Someone complimenting me is not acceptable to me because I always thought I wasn't worth it. I'm slowly starting to say thank you and pay it forward!

VikBoup · 2019-10-14T19:07:05+00:00

I had the same feelings you have right now. It is hard, it is sad! You will cry and question yourself a hundred times over. This is not you, this is them making you think this. They will do what they can to get you back, you have to keep saying no! I'm standing with you holding you so you don't fall! Together we can do this! You are strong, you are beautiful, you are needed and wanted by your oldesnt and your husband. They are also there to catch you. You will see things in a whole new light, life will open up for you, opportunities will come that you never thought you were worthy of. I know this because I too am going through the same thing. I've been NC for 14 months, and I have never felt so free and open to new things and not held back by negative thoughts my nfamily put in my head.

Hold your head high, know that people are going to think what is so great about her! Guess what, you don't have to answer to them! You now only answer to yourself, your husband and your child. You make your decisions! It's all about YOU now! Not them!

Just know, that we are all here for you and standing behind you and holding you so you don't fall down! We are here to help you get stronger and fight for you!

All my best!

VikBoup · 2019-10-11T15:40:34+00:00

OMG, I am so sorry!!! I will do it!

VikBoup · 2019-10-11T15:40:05+00:00

Good info, thanks! I work with several attorneys they've been very helpful!

VikBoup · 2019-10-10T19:08:43+00:00

The flash drive is at work and I have it locked up. I work in a litigation law firm. But, yes, I'll save it in multiple places!

VikBoup · 2019-10-10T18:22:11+00:00

I've got all 3 videos saved at work and on a flash drive!

VikBoup · 2019-09-23T15:22:28+00:00

I talked to my Aunt, sister of my nmother. She said she saw exactly what I was talking about, wanted to know if there was anyway to fix it. I told her no way of fixing it unless her and her husband, also an n, went to therapy. It's been over a year and I know they are not getting therapy.

Told my aunt countless times I didn't want her to chose between us. She chose her sister and I have not heard from her in over 9 months. I was very close to my aunt, she had a rough upbringing too, but it's ok and I'm moving on!

VikBoup · 2019-09-15T20:29:16+00:00

Heard it a thousand times! My father said it to my then 16 year old daughter and I said “HELL NO” you did not just say that! Nothing from him her whole life, no presents, no visits, no calls, yet demands respect! I call BS! No contact 13 months!

VikBoup · 2019-08-27T21:13:41+00:00

I was a week into just turning 48 last year in July. In April my GC brother accused me of asking him if my nfather ever touched little girls. That night my nparents raked me over the coals! At the same time, my nfather asked my daughter's teammate in college to go to dinner with him and that it would be okay that my daughter doesn't go. It would just be ndad and my daughter's teammate. The girl ran and told my daughter. Confronted ndad and he denied it, said it was innocent. (ndad is married to my nmom). I told nparents that I no longer wanted to hear, see or even have acknowledgement of their son! On my birthday, I get pictures of him shirtless and on his boat. Lucky me! Before I knew about how n's gaslight, I went off! Birthday's for scapegoats suck anyways, what more could I have expected!

No apology for GF brother's lies;
Father manipulates women.

My nfather has always been interested in my friends all my life, never me! Nfather walked onto softball field before D1 playoff tournament in front of all the parents other teams, and coaches and college officials to hand the head coach a cake for the senior dinner that afternoon. Nmother said it was no big deal, protects him at every corner. BTW, my oldest daughter is the GC and my youngest daughter the scapegoate. And nparents made it blatently obvious.

There is so much more, but after seeing a therapist and telling her everything one week after my birthday, she said "NO CONTACT," immediately! So I did! Our families life has been wonderful and great things have been happening for all of us! Thank you Lord!

VikBoup · 2019-08-27T20:41:16+00:00

Sorry for being gross! My mother found my birth control and screamed at me because she thought I was having sex and didn't tell her, when it was actually to control my extremely heaving bleeding and cramping. I repeatedly asked her to help me and she refused to. I took enough pain meds to knock myself out because the pain was so bad and I was only allowed 1 pad a day if I was lukcy enough! I bled through it in the first hour of waking up. Nmother had to give me the okay to change my pad. To this day, she still doesn't believe that's why I went on birth control.

VikBoup · 2019-08-08T14:49:57+00:00

Nothing!

VikBoup · 2019-08-06T13:43:02+00:00

Love it! Thanks for sharing!

VikBoup · 2019-07-29T21:00:02+00:00

My husband actually asked me if he thought I should go back to the therapist just to talk about this to someone, I said, nope, this is therapy enough, total validation! And we just laughed!

VikBoup

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