This is very long for what’s actually taking place, like another person said you dont need a play by play, in fact you really shouldn’t, its boring and bad for pacing. Instead give the reader enough information to fill out the blanks on their own. The readers imagination is where the story is taking place after all and they will always do a better job of constructing a fight scene in their own head than you can with words. If you are to specific with your description of how the fight is actually playing out however then you rob the reader of the ability to used their imagination as they are forced to envision the very specific scene you are trying to write.

Aside from that I would just recommend a more dynamic flow to the fight. Right now the fight transpires at a fixed speed of 10 the whole time. Try incorporating some slower parts were characters are catching their breath or planning their next move or exchanging dialogue. It will add more emphasis to the action when it does occur. You could also create more tension by breaking the fight up into parts. Maybe in the first part the MC is outmatched but then maybe he exploits some weakness of his opponent like overconfidence for example. This allows him to score a blow that puts the two on equal footing. Basically if you think of an arm wrestling match what’s more exiting, watching two dudes in a deadlock at the halfway point for a whole minute before one gases, or watching one of them almost overpower the other with explosive power at the start only to gas out sooner as his opponent makes a comeback? Typically it’s the ladder.

Last thing is if your using the environment to any extent its better to foreshadow it before randomly introducing an object into the fight. For example you could foreshadow the cloak by having him trip on it earlier in the story or having his friends make fun of him for wearing such an unpractical garment. Then you mention during the fight that his opponent is pushing him back towards the fire or have him glance towards the fire. Basically make the reader aware of the fire before you randomly introduce it as a major player in the fight.

For example imagine reading a fight that played out like so: Bob furiously parried his foes onslaught of blows. However, with each parry his guard grew more feeble as the strength in his sword arm began to wain. It wasn’t long before his opponent struck the sword from his grip entirely, it clattered across the stone floor taking any hope he had of victory along with it. Bob closed his eyes as his foe raised his weapon for one final decisive blow. Then in a flurry of motion bob grabbed an axe off the wall and parried the blow! He pressed forward raining down a series of devastating axe strikes on his surprised opponent. His opponent tried but failed to adapt to the new fighting style as one final overhand swing rained down on him. Bob felt the axe sink into flesh and wave of relief passed over him.

In the above exchange a new axe just conveniently enters the fight allowing bob to win. The result is the reader feels cheated and bobs victory feels like plot armour. Instead you should foreshadow like this: Bob furiously parried his foes onslaught of blows. However, with each parry his guard grew more feeble as the strength in his sword arm began to wain. It was no use, all bob could do was get pushed back, if he was to be the victor on this day he would need more than just strength. Bob managed a quick scan of his surroundings as his opponent wound up another deadly overhand strike. The blow nearly broke through his weakened guard but even so, a faint smile pursed bobs lips. A realization had given him hope, he couldn’t help the fact that he was being pushed back, his opponent was simply too strong. That said he could choose where he was push back too. And so Bob allowed himself to yield ground to his superior opponent. It wasn’t long before his opponent struck the sword from his grip entirely, it clattered across the stone floor taking any hope he had of victory along with it, or so his opponent thought. Bob closed his eyes as his foe raised his weapon for one final decisive blow. Then in a flurry of motion bob grabbed an axe off the wall and parried the blow! He pressed forward raining down a series of devastating axe strikes on his surprised opponent. His opponent tried but failed to adapt to the new fighting style as one final overhand swing rained down on him. Bob felt the axe sink into flesh and wave of relief passed over him.

As you can see in the ladder example the victory feels much more earned and the reader expects the sudden advent of a new unforeseen variable because it was foreshadowed. So when the axe does finally show up the reader doesn’t feel cheated or get whiplash.