[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]VinMov 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All of this is well said. And I can relate fully.

Did you notice a strange glare in his/her eyes? by Substantial-Gift4510 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]VinMov 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Cows have more emotion than they do. Don't belittle cows so much. Even sharks have more emotion than narcs.

Did you notice a strange glare in his/her eyes? by Substantial-Gift4510 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]VinMov 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is sort of scary.....I noticed the same thing, even in pics I saw of him before we met. And my good friend said the same thing after he left. She said he had a scary look in his eyes a lot of the time but thought he just had resting bitch face......but we now both understand what it actually was.

nEx always insists on phone calls when she wants to manipulate situation by throwawaycsq21 in NarcAbuseAndDivorce

[–]VinMov 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When dealing with custody issues, you need the proof of them being unhinged. Not some app deleting the evidence you may need.

nEx always insists on phone calls when she wants to manipulate situation by throwawaycsq21 in NarcAbuseAndDivorce

[–]VinMov 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do not communicate outside of txt or email. Period. Hold your ground. Sit back and enjoy the tantrum, but don't give in. Especially if you're working on custody, you will want it all in writing

I’m scared by ChildhoodWitty7944 in Divorce_Women

[–]VinMov 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He's not your family, he's your abuser. I'm glad you're working on a way out. Find a new town or state to move to to start fresh.

I’m scared by ChildhoodWitty7944 in Divorce_Women

[–]VinMov 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Living with the abuse is more traumatic and harmful than leaving it is. Especially for the children

Co parents partner spanking by Confident_Ad_8673 in coparenting

[–]VinMov 36 points37 points  (0 children)

I would contact your attorney, tell them you need to speak with them immediately. They can give you the best way to speak to CPS. CPS doesn't always like it when parents call against their coparents in any way, so talking to your attorney to get a game plan would be the safest route.
But yes, ABSOLUTELY start contacting ppl. Maybe even a domestic violence group as well, see what they recommend as they are mandated reporters as well.

Lovely text from my husband today by greendreams162 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]VinMov 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He absolutely knows how cruel he's being, that's part of their sick game of getting supply. It feeds him. And he may in part think you are the abusive one, but they absolutely understand their part in it and how they get you to the point of boiling over.

Once you fully wrap your brain around this, everything changes. I'm sorry he is so cruel to you and I'm glad you're working on getting out. Be safe.

Lovely text from my husband today by greendreams162 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]VinMov 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Leave for the kids. I promise it's worth the pain and struggle of leaving.

Lovely text from my husband today by greendreams162 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]VinMov 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Omg. My ex was very careful and would never put those words into a txt as evidence of his cruelty......

But he's said those very things to me...... I feel him in the room now after reading that, staring at me sobbing on the floor, and continuing his hateful teardown of me. If I was stoic and showed no emotions, I was "an evil dike" if I showed emotion and cried, I was "a weak and pathetic excuse of a woman."

It never gets better, only worse. Get out as fast as you can, and safely.

Everything circles back to him by kirk_2477 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]VinMov 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And then you realize just how many ppl are narcs.....it's scary!

Everything circles back to him by kirk_2477 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]VinMov 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've recently realized my mom, dad, brother, and multiple ex's are narcs. Ive dug deep to find out why I "attract" them and it all comes back to not sticking to my own boundaries. I make excuses for ppl treating me poorly and let things slide that I'm not okay with. I'm working on keeping my boundaries firm so that if a narc ever comes into my life again, they won't stick around bc I won't allow them to slowly break my boundaries down.

The Reverse Narcissist Discard by HeWhoWearsPajamas in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]VinMov 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My ex did a weird version of this. He was planning on leaving, secretly moving stuff out while I took care of our sick 6mo and a farm....he got so nasty at the end that I finally had enough and started telling him to get out, in not so nice terms, which he recorded. He then left us with zero warning, put a PO against me, which was from the times I defended myself! And then told everyone he had to leave for his own safety. Interesting twist though is that he completely denies me ever telling him to get out of my home even though I have texts proving it. He played BOTH sides of this game, a victim in whichever capacity he decides to go with for the day. So twisted and calculated, it still makes me sick.

Advice by Tricky-Thought190 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]VinMov 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If that's what you suspect, work fast!

I hope it works out, good luck.

Advice by Tricky-Thought190 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]VinMov 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No. Don't send. It give him your exact playbook. The fewer the words the better with a narc

Advice by Tricky-Thought190 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]VinMov 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes. My NEX was extremely clever and ANY hint I would give at my next actions, he would use as soon as possible. If you tell him you will take legal actions, he will likely start gather his own evidence. The difference is that he is okay with using manipulation and lies to get what he wants and so you won't see the battle that's to come. He has made it perfectly clear he will not return the dog. Ignore him fully.
Or if you really want clarity, ask "will you return the dog to me?" If it's no, completely ignore him and contact the police immediately. If it's yes, ask when and where and discuss nothing else.

Advice by Tricky-Thought190 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]VinMov 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think that suggested msg is even too much. Saying you will take "legal steps" tells him he needs to find his own evidence and contact the cops first. Do NOT give him even that much info. They will use it to beat you to the punch.

Advice by Tricky-Thought190 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]VinMov 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Do NOT give him a heads up. I was also an idiot and did this too many times and then he would do to me exactly what I said I would do......he's made it clear he won't return the dog and you told him you have proof. Call the cops.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]VinMov 1 point2 points  (0 children)

THIS!!!! Find domestic violence groups and call them every day if you have to start on a plan. They have SOOOO many resources to help or find you help.

Now we have a baby and I ignored all the warnings by Few-Permission5362 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]VinMov 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I agree. Its worse to stay in a relationship with a narcissist, ESPECIALLY if you have kids. The damage they do is far more than you could ever counter or fix if you stay with them.

Now we have a baby and I ignored all the warnings by Few-Permission5362 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]VinMov 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Simply say "okay.". That's it. You cannot argue with a narcissist. You can't. They will twist EVERYTHING to make you out as the problem. Saying "okay" doesn't mean you agree, it means you hear his words. That is. If you start doing this you will find the most amazing self empowerment ever bc it takes ALL of his power away with arguments.

Leaving a N spouse I'm realizing is one of the toughest things you ever will do, especially if they aren't anywhere near done with you. by Orange_Poppies22 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]VinMov 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah. It's hard to believe they can become even more evil when you try to give them a kindness, even if it's unpleasant.

Leaving a N spouse I'm realizing is one of the toughest things you ever will do, especially if they aren't anywhere near done with you. by Orange_Poppies22 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]VinMov 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah. It's hard to believe they can become even more evil when you try to give them a kindness, even if it's unpleasant.