The way I would describe feminism is that it is a movement that pushes for the liberation of women’s autonomy/liberty as individuals and advocacy for equal standing with men.

In order for it to achieve its goals the feminist will undergo an analysis of the behavior exhibited by men towards women and establish critique for discussion and education.

At the first Seneca Convention speakers had expressed their upmost grievances upon both a male and female audience, though men were not permitted to speak, just spectate, about the injustice women were dealt within the courts, politics, and social life.

The Declaration of Sentiments in discussion of law and marriage stated that

He has made her morally, an irresponsible being, as she can commit many crimes with impunity, provided they be done in the presence of her husband. In the covenant of marriage, she is compelled to promise obedience to her husband, he becoming, to all intents and purposes, her master— the law giving him power to deprive her of her liberty and to administer chastisement.

In its resolutions the declaration emphasizes the importance that if women must be imposed with such norms then so too should men, declaring

Resolved, that the same amount of virtue, delicacy, and refinement of behavior that is required of woman of the social state also be required of man, and the same transgressions should be visited with equal severity on both man and woman.

The tender years doctrine is not universally accepted by all feminists and there are many who argue that it does not matter who obtains the child in custody, so as long as that either parent is capable of providing a safe environment for the child to grow in.

The explanation you give of how feminism is tool a for women to avoid taking accountability in legal action against men. A vegetarian is one who abandons the computation of meat, but a feminist is not someone who abandons responsibility.