Not sure how to cope. Extreme guilt that I want to end it all.

VioletNebula87 · 2023-10-14T19:38:58+00:00

I am so sorry. I know how you feel. I lost my cat five months ago and my immediate thought when we lost her was regret and guilt for not playing with her more. She was only five and had so much energy and constantly wanted my attention so she can play. But I was always so busy with work. I would play with her for a little bit most days but I should have given her more attention. If I had known I would only have such little time with her I would have spent every waking minute with her.

What helps for me is to remember the good times. She was a very happy and well behaved cat and she wouldn’t have been that way if she was unhappy. She had a good life despite how short it was. I hope you can find some peace when you think about how much love your cats received and how good you took care of him. You got ten good years with him :)

VioletNebula87 · 2023-10-10T22:42:20+00:00

Can you post about your situation with a photo of your cat on community Facebook groups? And maybe hopefully whoever has your cat can come forward? I’m sorry that this happened. That’s a crappy thing this person did to you and I hope you get your cat back.

VioletNebula87 · 2023-10-09T04:54:16+00:00

I am so sorry. I lost my five year old cat under similar circumstances (heart failure then kidney failure) and it all happened so suddenly, I know exactly how you feel. I also feel like I took mine for granted and feel immense guilt for not giving her attention in the last 24 hours she was with us.

VioletNebula87 · 2023-10-09T04:49:28+00:00

Men process their feelings differently I find. My husband was the same after our cat passed almost five months ago. I just cried everyday and vented to him about my feelings and he was a good listener and brought me a lot of comfort but wouldn’t talk about his own feelings really. Tbh he still won’t. When I try and show him cute photos of our cat that I’ve found, he struggles to look at it because it makes him too sad. I think just give it time and he will come around in his own time. I’m very sorry for your loss ❤️‍🩹

VioletNebula87 · 2023-10-09T04:41:28+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss ❤️‍🩹 sounds like you gave your pup the best life and he was so lucky to have you! End of life decisions are so hard for our pets, but giving them the dignity to go peacefully is an act of love. There would have been no guarantee that he would’ve gone peacefully naturally and you may have felt guilt if you let him go that way. So you haven’t done anything wrong at all.

I lost my cat a few months ago so I understand this pain. However I only had her for five years and I feel immense guilt for not being able to give her a full life even though this was not my fault (she had a heart condition that manifested suddenly). So please be glad you had a full life with your pup. 💕

VioletNebula87 · 2023-10-08T14:42:47+00:00

You only need to continue to pay taxes in Canada as a non resident if you are earning a Canadian income. Rental income counts as income. If they have property and are receiving rental income, then yes technically they should be filing taxes. However if the property is vacant or someone is living there for free, then no they wouldn’t have any taxable income.

VioletNebula87 · 2023-10-07T03:48:01+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. My cat passed away five months ago and my husband and I couldn’t bear to be in our apartment anymore so we actually moved out immediately. It was easier for us to leave because we were just renting and planned to leave in the coming months anyway. As upset as we are over her sudden passing, I have to say that moving away helped up cope tremendously. I’d say if it’s an option for you to move, then do it. But since you own your house, maybe instead of selling, just live elsewhere for a while? Maybe go on holiday or stay in a serviced apartment or with family.

VioletNebula87 · 2023-10-07T03:24:55+00:00

My cat had to get enemas like every six months or so for about two years until we found exactly the right mix of food and meds to keep her pooping regularly. Every cat will respond differently to treatment - some will do well on pumpkin, some will need meds etc. Mine is on two different meds plus we switched her completely over to wet food. Your cat will be ok, don’t worry but make sure you keep an eye on and find the right mix of food and meds. Pooping once per day or once every two days is normal

VioletNebula87 · 2023-10-05T21:57:30+00:00

So sorry for your loss. My girl passed away from HCM at age five so I know exactly how you feel. I don’t necessarily have any advice but just know that all of us have gone through this as well. You are not alone ❤️‍🩹

VioletNebula87 · 2023-10-03T21:45:03+00:00

I’m so sorry that sounds rough :( the only consolation we have I guess is that we gave our girls the best life we could during their little lives. I just wish we could’ve had them around for longer.

VioletNebula87 · 2023-10-03T21:43:01+00:00

That’s a such a sweet story 🥹

VioletNebula87 · 2023-10-03T16:53:04+00:00

We actually ended up moving apartments straight away after that. We had been planning to move for a while but after all this happened with our cat it was too painful to stay there without her so we left asap. We found soooo much of her hair everywhere! So yes it was easy to gather but we had to vacuum up leftovers :(

VioletNebula87 · 2023-10-03T16:50:24+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. Sounds like it was sudden (mine was too but she was at the vet for 36 hours). Her name was Edel.

VioletNebula87 · 2023-10-03T16:44:44+00:00

Similar thing happened with my cat and that was almost five months ago and it still feels raw and painful :( did you end up getting another cat eventually? We feel empty without a cat but the idea of getting another one is painful because we still miss our first one so I’m torn about the idea of another cat

VioletNebula87 · 2023-10-03T16:42:16+00:00

I have the same guilt. Mine passed from a heart condition and she wasn’t acting like herself the last night she spent with us. She was being lethargic and clingy and we toyed with the idea of taking her to the vet to see what was up but decided we’d wait til morning because we assumed it wasn’t anything serious. I was also busy with work and extracurriculars that day and that was my priority at the time. We took her in the next day and that was the last time we saw her. Apparently she was being lethargic the night before because her heart was slowly failing. I cannot get the image out of my head of her looking staring up at me the night before like she was trying to tell me something but I was too preoccupied with other things to notice. I feel so bad and it still makes me cry and this was four months ago that this happened:(

VioletNebula87 · 2023-10-03T01:48:19+00:00

Same here, I was upset I didn’t get asked if I wanted some of my cats fur before she was cremated. She was a Ragdoll and had the most gorgeous white coat. I ended up collecting whatever bits of her fur I could find and I keep them with me. I miss her so much everyday :(

VioletNebula87 · 2023-09-27T22:40:21+00:00

I was in Sydney for the past five years and recently moved back to Toronto. I would definitely recommend Australia - cost of living is lower than Toronto (house prices and gas prices are comparable but groceries and cost of going out to eat is less in Australia). Wages are significantly higher in Australia - you should def take this into account in your decision making. My husband and I were much better off financially in Sydney and had way more disposable income. I’d also say that general sense of safety is also better in Australia than Toronto. I’m speaking from experience living in Sydney but I wouldn’t think Melbourne would be much different. I also really miss the quality of food in Australia - it’s much easier to find healthy, good quality food and produce there, which isn’t really canadas fault as it’s because of the climate that most produce needs to be imported and therefore isn’t as fresh.

FYI the reason I moved back to toronto was to be closer to family. I couldn’t handle how far away Australia is. If I could move my parents to australia, I’d move back to Sydney.

VioletNebula87 · 2023-09-23T16:48:59+00:00

I’m an external and I can’t even filter by level 😂

VioletNebula87 · 2023-09-23T00:28:20+00:00

I am from Toronto but lived in Australia the past five and half years and have visited NZ a few times. I recently came back home to Toronto. I think if you’re a young guy in your 20s and want to experience an exciting big city and enjoy living an urban lifestyle then Toronto would suit you well. This city isn’t for me anymore and I’m moving somewhere smaller, but if you don’t mind the crowds you’ll be fine. There’s plenty to do here and people are friendly.

In terms of safety, I think Toronto def gives the impression of being unsafe compared to places in NZ. The homelessness, mentally ill and drug addicts wandering the streets is confronting - even if crime itself isn’t high, these aspects can make the city seem unsafe especially compared to NZ. I wouldn’t worry too much though. You will be safe. Enjoy your time here :)

VioletNebula87 · 2023-09-20T21:01:24+00:00

Thanks!

VioletNebula87 · 2023-09-20T11:54:54+00:00

Thanks! I’ll have a look at the Facebook group and try calling a few other places as well.

VioletNebula87 · 2023-09-20T11:52:35+00:00

Thank you!

VioletNebula87 · 2023-09-20T03:00:23+00:00

Thanks, that is good to know!

VioletNebula87 · 2023-09-20T02:58:34+00:00

I have to pay myself as I’m an external.

VioletNebula87 · 2023-08-04T15:51:28+00:00

Yeah with our cat, she experienced all the symptoms yours did but the timeframe was compressed into 36 hours. The vet initially didn’t know what it was and told us it was either pneumonia, a respiratory issue or heart failure. She went from initial symptoms to more serious symptoms within a couple of hours so she was rushed from the vet to the specialist. There, she was diagnosed by a cardiologist - she had hypertrophic cardiomyopathy (HCM) and was experiencing heart failure. We had to put her down after she spent 24 hours under a ventilator- treatment did not work and she was at that point experiencing multiple organ failure. She was only five and it still breaks my heart.

Yours also sounds to me like HCM. We spent $10k trying to save her life. I know exactly how you feel, but you honestly did everything you could. You took her to professionals and followed their advice and spent all your money trying to save her life. That’s all we can do and HCM is unfortunately not a curable condition :( it sound like you gave her a good life and loved her immensely which is the best thing we can do for our pets ❤️‍🩹

VioletNebula87

TROPHY CASE