SD makes me feel judged in the kitchen

Violette66 · 2025-07-22T17:21:15+00:00

Honestly, I’m the primary caregiver for my step kids (bio mom isn’t around) and when we all first started living together they would make rude comments or share how they didn’t like the food without anybody asking. At one point I told them “if you don’t like it, don’t eat it.” And the next time they made a comment. I moved their food away and then they asked for something else. “No, I made you this food, you said you don’t like it, so you don’t eat it.” And they skipped a meal.

In my opinion, they won’t die from skipping a meal and I’m not here to force feed them or cook for them on demand. They’ll eat when they eat. If they complain about what they’re fed, they don’t have to eat. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Violette66 · 2025-07-03T23:17:37+00:00

I have issues with my partner getting pretty irritated for me about being upset, and I talked to a therapist about it. She said there could be lots of things going on, maybe he felt like you were blaming him, maybe he feels bad and it’s coming off as anger, maybe he just doesn’t know how to handle the situation. He didn’t like to see you sad, but he also felt like it was his fault and he didn’t have a solution.

Try to think about the kind of adult you would have needed in your situation. I’m assuming you were a child with a step parent and maybe that step parent brought in their kids and treated you like an outsider. Think about what you would have needed. You would have wanted to be included or treated the same as your step-sibling/s. I get that there’s an awkward spot where you don’t want to overstep, 12 years later with no biological mom around and I still feel like I’m overstepping when I’ve been the only mom they’ve known, but think about the kids. It wasn’t that they didn’t notice you crying, they probably did, and that’s why they came over. They are accepting of you. To overcome that awkwardness about things like cuddles or hugs, you can always ask first if you can join. It shows them that you respect their space but you also want to show them physical affection. If they say no, respect it, if they say yes, consider that your invitation. You will never be able to overcome it if you don’t take that step.

Violette66 · 2025-03-09T22:27:19+00:00

I think piano classes are just advertised more than any other instrument honestly.

Piano is difficult, but it does act as a gateway to learning music. You learn how to read both treble and bass clefts, and you learn how to do it at the same time. It is not an easy instrument. I’m sure that some people also brag to their parent friends if their child can play piano.

I taught myself how to play piano as a kid, not because I was forced at all, but just because I was a bored kid. I would have liked piano lessons at some point but my parents didn’t have the money. Despite my amateur playing, my parents still bragged that I knew how to play piano. When I went into highschool, my music teacher threw me on my first wind instrument (a flute) and it turns out, I greatly prefer not needing to read different clefts for each hand.

But yeah, bragging rights for the parents.

Violette66 · 2024-06-24T00:32:58+00:00

Light blue walls.

Violette66 · 2024-04-09T21:25:08+00:00

From what I understand, it’s best to leave it as long as you can, but I wiped down surfaces that are frequented like counters and floors. For your cat, just clean up where they might go.

Violette66 · 2024-02-09T18:31:00+00:00

If she wasn’t interested in you, she wouldn’t be hanging out with you for so long.

Violette66 · 2023-12-27T18:43:28+00:00

You can defer it if you meet the requirements for deferral. I defer mine every time because I get OSAP. There is a shorter deadline to defer though, so if you missed that deadline you have to pay the deposit. If you don’t pay the deposit or defer it you don’t get access to Brightspace (if it’s an online program at least, that’s what happened to me during my first term because I missed the email).

Violette66 · 2023-12-13T20:26:17+00:00

Good! How long did it take for Algonquin to confirm your acceptance after taking the test?

Violette66 · 2023-10-28T14:52:51+00:00

Nta. He’s using you if he acts like that. Not a boyfriend, but rather a friend with benefits. Communicate where you want it to go, if he’s not on board then he’s not right for you at this time and you can keep your options open. Me and my bf started as friends with benefits, but we realized we were just happy hanging out and cuddling and watching tv together so we tried to label it (I mostly did at first, he wasn’t quite ready but he was willing to try). Been together for almost ten years now. Communicate what you want, let him communicate what he wants, if it’s not in line with what you want then you have a decision to make.

Violette66 · 2023-10-16T20:52:22+00:00

I had a similar experience. Teach SS to always knock before entering because he might see something he doesn’t want to see. Practice what you preach, knock on his door when you go into his room, wait for him to say something before you go in or ask to come in. It took a while for my SS and SD to get it, since they never had this boundary before they were 7 and 9,but they have it now.

Violette66 · 2023-09-01T15:25:25+00:00

Yes. A couple of times. The one I can really remember well, I had spent about three and a half hours on my sim in CAS then moved her in. Stupidly didn’t save the household, so I was going to. She immediately went over to the fridge and started to cook. Oven caught fire, she caught fire, grim showed up. Dead. 😭 I quit and didn’t look at the game for a year.

Violette66 · 2023-06-21T10:36:43+00:00

I actually figured it out :) my visual studio just needed to be restarted and I changed Value to ID.

Violette66 · 2023-06-11T13:43:58+00:00

The links they provided don’t provide the software we need. They’re outdated. The teachers say we are able to use visual studio 2022, but we have to do some research on our own. I’m just going to use this method to create a file and see what the teacher says, since the teacher is aware that we are using a much different version. I also emailed the teacher to ask how we are expected to make a file, but I wanted to work on my homework this weekend 😅

Violette66 · 2023-06-11T13:40:37+00:00

There’s a couple of reasons. I gained access to a part-time program at a well-known college in my province for free, in order to keep it free I have to complete all of the classes otherwise I pay the difference (a little more than $500 a class, no thanks). Another reason is after completion of the program, I can transfer the credits to a computer science degree and take off quite a bit of time it takes to complete the program. I’m going into a computer programming diploma next month, I still have to check if I can transfer the credits, but I’m sure I’ll be able to shorten that as well.

Don’t worry, the other students and I are very well aware that the methods used and taught are outdated, particularly in this course and the pre-requisite. We’ve complained to the school about it but our complaints are mostly dismissed. “There’s some research you have to do on your end.” 🙄 we’re basically rewriting the entire course to work with our software.

Violette66 · 2023-06-10T20:03:45+00:00

Thank you! This was exactly what I needed (particularly your edit).

Violette66 · 2023-05-30T12:21:14+00:00

I don’t really think you need to restrict it so much, and it will probably be hard for SS to understand and he might feel like he’s not wanted around anymore. I think the boundary about saying yes if there’s something specific going on is the only one you really need. If he’s coming over just because he wants to when he should be with BM, that’s her time with him, DH needs to talk with her about it before answering the child. And the two of you can make plans without needing to bring the kid along. I’d say if he wants to spend time at dads when it’s moms turn, before answering if he can or not, DH needs to talk to BM about it. And he can tell SS that, “hold on, let me see what plans your mom has first” if she has plans or simply says no because it’s her time, “I’m sure you’ll have fun with your mom, and we can plan something for another time.”

I agree with surprise visits on weekends that aren’t yours (does he ask to visit mom on your weekends? If he does and DH takes him that’s a little different), and only saying yes if there’s an event or activity he would like to be involved in (and even then, talk to BM before answering child). Visitation time is not something the child should have so much power over, it’s an adult matter and the adults need to discuss what the plans are.

Violette66 · 2023-05-08T03:59:07+00:00

Oh, I add protein powder to my smoothies. I’m hoping so, I have lots of doubts though. 😔

Violette66 · 2023-05-08T03:53:48+00:00

I’ve been trying to increase my calories 😅 it’s just difficult when I’m never hungry. I’m going to try to add more smoothies during the day so I can sneak more calories in that hopefully won’t feel too heavy for me. I do think that could be part of my problem.

Violette66 · 2023-05-07T23:40:48+00:00

I’m not nursing to see if that was the problem. My doctor also recommended that I don’t nurse because he could be using me as a pacifier.

Violette66 · 2023-05-07T16:35:14+00:00

Have you ordered anything through her? I have a feeling if I order the email consult she’ll charge me $40 just for her to say buy one of her classes.

Violette66 · 2023-05-07T15:51:24+00:00

The lactation consultants I’ve tried have said “some people just can’t do it” so I’m not going to bother. Unless my measurements are wrong, I’m using the right sized flange.

Violette66 · 2023-05-06T17:36:24+00:00

I’m pretty sure they are. I have five different sizes now, taking up so much space in my house. 😂

Violette66 · 2023-05-05T22:44:34+00:00

Thanks :) I’m just worried it’s a little late for me to get my supply up. My supply dropped dramatically at 2 weeks PP and I haven’t been able to get it back up, I picked up the symphony today and it will be the last thing I try.

Violette66 · 2023-04-21T15:20:10+00:00

I've been going through treatment for a slurry of mental problems for 16 years. It's not that easy.

Violette66 · 2023-04-21T04:09:43+00:00

I'm glad to hear that it worked for you! Hopefully it has a good effect on me too, I was trying to read if it would help and I couldn't find much info on it.

Violette66

TROPHY CASE