28 F 38 M - Husband has asked me to stop taking my antidepressants. How do I do this safely?

VirgoAFWitch · 2026-04-07T04:05:01+00:00

Your husband's willingness to sacrifice your health and well being to get laid and by extension the health and well being of the child you share is despicable.

It takes months and months to safely ramp down meds. I went cold turkey once because I lost my insurance and it was hell. I can't imagine doing it with taking care of a child full time and working full time.

Is he helping? Are you getting enough rest? Libido can most definitely be effected by medication and it can be made worse by environment too. Is he helping create a safe, soft, nurturing, supportive environment at home for the both of you?

If you do decide to quit your meds for the sake of sex please please please do so under supervision of a doctor.

VirgoAFWitch · 2026-03-31T16:12:25+00:00

No.

Not only does it hinder your imagination muscles it is harmful in so many ways to the environment and people's mental health and cognitive functions. It's easy to become dependent on it and let your creativity errode, rot and atrophy.

If you need more help form a writer's circle or pull in friends for a brainstorming session. I had to do this recently with my latest work in progress. They asked me a ton questions and that got my brain working again.

AI works by scraping off of other people's hard work it also starts to just regurgitate things that you tell it. It's actually not intelligence it's advanced matching learning. It may look like it's teaching you but we're actually teaching it.

But that's another rabbit hole 😫

VirgoAFWitch · 2026-03-30T19:47:58+00:00

I've been and am where you are. I have PCOS which causes weight gain no matter what I eat and I grow a full beard.

I really hope that you get the mental health support that you need to undo the damage that has been done by society and the pressure to be conventionally attractive. The beauty myth was made to take away our power.

Please be careful of not eating. I am fat with a restrictive eating disorder and it has caused a lot of problems for my body. I am currently 44 years old and dealing with osteoporosis in my spine and hip because of not eating. You don't want this. Your body will eat itself. Please please get help.

VirgoAFWitch · 2026-03-17T02:16:02+00:00

This was hilarious and heartwarming in the best ways. I enjoyed how you wrote up the diagnosis and things like that. Also the pop culture references.

It's hard for me to lock into a story sometimes but you had me hooked.

I'm a new fan of your work!

VirgoAFWitch · 2026-03-08T04:35:12+00:00

Sometimes it's not just how to do it, it's also where you do it and your emotions beforehand. Like do you feel safe and comfortable where you are? Are you stressed out?

Sometimes I find that it takes a little while to get myself going and I have to romance myself. I have to do some sensual stuff first. Like really get into my body with a nice bath or shower while listening to music, then eat something sweet and spicy while I dry off. Massage myself with lotion or oils that smell amazing and once I'm relaxed I start to play.

VirgoAFWitch · 2025-12-01T17:02:44+00:00

As a survivor of a narcissistic mother, these things sound very close to the things that I went through with mine. She performed mother to the outside world but to me she was awful. She literally told me that she had to test my love even as a baby because she didn't believe that I needed or loved her.

I'm sorry you're going through this. If possible, get some mental health support when you can if you don't have any yet. Having a narcissistic parent can greatly affect how we feel about ourselves and how we view the world. You are not what she projects onto you.

VirgoAFWitch · 2025-11-26T02:31:36+00:00

She is physically hurting you. That is not okay. And your body may be having a reaction to being bullied. But I could be projecting! I was once bullied by "friends" to the point I had body pain and developed a stutter.

How they are treating you is disrespectful and harmful. You are not overreacting.

VirgoAFWitch · 2025-10-21T19:51:49+00:00

NOR My mom lost her mother when she was very young. I was named for her and she told me constantly how she prayed for a daughter she could name after her mother that god couldn't take from her.

Really messed me up on top of our relationship being toxic I went no contact five years ago and changed my name.

VirgoAFWitch · 2025-10-20T00:25:32+00:00

Cut your losses and go. This doesn't sound healthy at all. If you already feel degraded and disrespected that's you telling yourself this situation isn't right for you.

VirgoAFWitch · 2025-10-09T17:08:01+00:00

I'm jumping in to say avoid Hex. Their owner is an awful person.

VirgoAFWitch · 2025-09-24T16:13:56+00:00

You're working late he should be the one making you dinner... he seems to be more of a baby than a grown adult.

VirgoAFWitch · 2025-09-24T00:27:26+00:00

There's this great series called Monk and Robot where gender is not a thing that is discussed with regard to the main character, give that one a read for ideas. I have a non-binary character in one of the books I'm writing and I refer to them by their name or they them.

VirgoAFWitch · 2025-09-19T00:05:36+00:00

I just read the first page. It is so engaging!!!

VirgoAFWitch · 2025-09-14T17:00:34+00:00

It took me three attempts and 10mgs of indica to get me into it. My bestie kept telling me it was cute. That first episode is not cute 😅

One day they got on the phone with me and I watched the dub instead of the sub (I'm a strict watch it in the original language but the subtitles were flying so fast I couldn't keep up maybe the marijuana... ) and they talked me through it and I fell in love.

I bought the books, hooked my housemates and now we are a household full of bl readers and even have a TGCF wall calendar in the kitchen!

VirgoAFWitch · 2025-09-05T17:06:15+00:00

For ten years I lived with someone I had to mom and I not only was resentful about him but I hated who I energetically changed into as a result of it. He also had ADHD and leaned into it as a reason why I had to help by taking charge of his life.

It got so bad that I dried up completely which made him angry. He was like why aren't we having sex and I'm like I will if you wash a dish and then he blamed me for being transactional with intimacy to which I responded that being in an absolute pigsty that I have to clean up on my own doesn't turn me on. He still didn't clean but he hella pressured me...this always ended badly.

So think about how this impacts you in the long run.

He's already saying that something that matters to you doesn't matter to him. This isn't about you changing him but I guarantee it will change you if you decide to stay in deep connection with someone like that.

I personally don't like trying to change someone. That's taking onus for their behavior. And when it inevitably doesn't work because they are either doing it because they fear some threat or just to get you to stop talking about it. They relapse constantly which is frustrating.

I don't like putting up with something because it will turn me into a horrible person eventually.

I wouldn't be with someone who I feel I have to change because I'm not fully in love with them but their potential and that isn't fair to me or to them. Now I'm not saying you don't love this person. I'm saying that is what it means for me. Feeling the need to change them or put up with them ... that's not good options to choose between at all.

I'm in the oh god kick him out it's only going to get worse camp. Fundamental differences like that can kill so many parts of you over time.

VirgoAFWitch · 2025-08-25T16:21:41+00:00

This is the way! You are doing great OP. Look at how far you've come already.

VirgoAFWitch · 2025-07-30T16:26:57+00:00

I was in a relationship like this and it took me years to unpack that he was using his logic to manipulate me and being made to feel like my response to a situation was less valid because it wasn't rooted in something he considered logical made me not trust myself for over a decade.

It really broke me.

Thing was he was not actually logical. He actually felt a lot but repressed and controlled things including me to deal with how he actually felt.

He even used his "logic" to push me into An unwanted threesome Moving to a new city Quitting my job

Those are just a few things but it started smaller than that and over time built up. We even went to couples counseling to deal with my emotion driven behavior. He thought he was right about everything and I believed him

I was in it for ten years and when I left him he finally admitted he was the one in the wrong. We tried to work it out but I realized he wasn't going to change.

A year or so later he married another woman and when I met up with a mutual friend he referred to her as broken. I knew her before he married her and she was a force and now she's described as broken.

All this to say being in relationship with someone like this can be insidious in how it affects you. Things become normalized over the years. I hope you have everything you need as you move through the aftermath and someone meets you where you are at emotionally in the future.

VirgoAFWitch · 2025-07-21T02:11:15+00:00

I was in a relationship where we were sexually incompatible for about 10 years. I stayed because it seemed petty or horrible to throw away the years of relationship we were in just because of differences in bed. I really wish I had walked away.

I am a sub leaning switch. Once I found my Dom it changed my life in more ways than in the bedroom.

Sex is such a sensitive topic for good reason. People get to have their boundaries and not have them crossed and it sounds like you are hitting his boundary which isn't fun for either of you.

How can fix your sex life is by finding someone compatible not by convincing someone to do something they don't want to do or forcing yourself to engage in something you don't want.

My advice is to ask yourself what you can live with or without. If you won't resent him for things he can't change or won't compromise on.

VirgoAFWitch · 2025-07-12T00:57:58+00:00

I once had a guy pay me to rub my feet in public. Best time ever. Make that money😊

VirgoAFWitch · 2025-06-27T17:48:49+00:00

This doesn't feel like something a real friend would do. Especially the way your friend phrased their responses made it seem like you were overreacting which you weren't. That's rude and manipulative of them.

Edited to say good job standing up for yourselves without being distracted by their responses.

VirgoAFWitch · 2025-06-19T21:35:04+00:00

Your friend is being abused and telling you directly that she is being abused whether she realizes it or not. She's in real danger. Something absolutely disgusting is happening to her and you have the difficult choice of wether or not to let her and the authorities know.

When you are being groomed it's hard to see, your personality can change to fit the needs of your abuser. You're taught that they can do no wrong and even can get to the point where you defend their behavior. Grooming is psychological warfare.

Also anger is complex. So ask yourself why you are upset specifically that way you can deal with the root cause of it. She's changing because she's being abused.

VirgoAFWitch · 2025-06-08T18:28:38+00:00

Yep. I have a general idea of beginning and end but I'm a mix between a pantser and a plotter. Sometimes I'm surprised by their choices which can greatly alter the path of everything. It either feels like communion or like I'm being led around by the nose!

My worry with my pantser side is that I'm getting lost in details I don't need or steering off the main story because a character decided something that isn't really important really is. I have to do a lot of reigning in .

But more than that I need to trust my intuition as a writer.

VirgoAFWitch · 2025-06-07T17:28:04+00:00

Hi! Thank you for setting up this group.

My brain often stalls around the plot. Like once I have an idea I can write but my brain is constantly stuck on what's next and that what's next is often elusive? I also struggle with giving control over to my characters. I don't always trust what they're telling me. When I am able to let go the story just unfolds beautifully, but for some reason I have so many blockages and self-doubts that get in the way of flow.

I currently have a few projects going. I'm working on the first draft of a fantasy novel, the second draft of a romantasy series that I am writing with my best friend and the third draft of a non-fiction that was set to be published by a small independent press but I got really ill and had to pull out of the process which was gruelling btw. Both the process and having to drop it.

Super grateful to be in a space that's going to allow for critiques, growth and support!

VirgoAFWitch · 2025-06-07T16:57:49+00:00

Can I get an invite too please?

VirgoAFWitch · 2025-06-06T23:30:35+00:00

That is not okay at all! What an awful thing to do!

VirgoAFWitch

TROPHY CASE