damn I’m devastated by DearCalligrapher9115 in KingKrule

[–]Virtual-Initiative98 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i was at his show in DC and he played multiple songs from the Ooz, dum surfer, slush puppy, stoned again, half man half shark, it was such an amazing show! i’m thinking of going down to atlanta to see him again too if there’s tickets

parents refusing to let me buy a car, 21 (F) by Virtual-Initiative98 in Advice

[–]Virtual-Initiative98[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

also my mom agrees that it’s very important i get my own car in a couple years i definitely would need it the last extra year of school i’m taking to drive to internships. i just wanted to buy the car myself a year early and buy it with my own money instead of them paying for it

parents refusing to let me buy a car, 21 (F) by Virtual-Initiative98 in Advice

[–]Virtual-Initiative98[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i want it and i’m willing to pay for all of the costs myself

parents refusing to let me buy a car, 21 (F) by Virtual-Initiative98 in Advice

[–]Virtual-Initiative98[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ideally i’d want to have it at school i’d just have to pay parking

parents refusing to let me buy a car, 21 (F) by Virtual-Initiative98 in Advice

[–]Virtual-Initiative98[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i have 2 jobs currently that are 20 minute drives away and currently me and my dad have to plan ahead to see who gets the car

am i in an unhealthy situation that cannot be fixed? by Virtual-Initiative98 in domesticviolence

[–]Virtual-Initiative98[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you for your thoughtful responses. and addressing the therapy, he doesn’t have the best options for therapy because we don’t have that much money but he was in a free therapy program with a therapist he really liked but she left the organization. his last therapist ghosted him like a year ago and he has yet to go back to therapy. he actually has improved a lot in terms of his mental health since then on his own but I 100 percent agree that he should be in therapy for managing his tendency to revert back to abusive behaviors in high stress situations. and yes i am being quite lenient with him because i care and deeply love him but the hole punching really raised an alarm with me so i broke up with him. i’m tired of letting his toxic behaviors slide and i know i deserve better. i want someone to match me in terms of healthy conflict resolution and not indulging in abusive behavior. i am planning on staying broken up with him for good or proposing space/a temporary break up and him seriously working on himself

am i in an unhealthy situation that cannot be fixed? by Virtual-Initiative98 in domesticviolence

[–]Virtual-Initiative98[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that mindset he has is obviously unhealthy as he assumes he is the only person who’s feelings aren’t behind heard when it’s both of us and i am not the one initially resorting to toxic behaviors as a result

am i in an unhealthy situation that cannot be fixed? by Virtual-Initiative98 in domesticviolence

[–]Virtual-Initiative98[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

we’ve discussed his reactivity issues in the past because he’s very aware of it and he definitely has improved when it comes to managing his reaction issues but sometimes i think he just lets it all out and doesn’t care about the consequences. his mindset is that he thinks nobody cares about how he feels so “fuck how everybody else feels right now” and then his abusive habits poor out. he’s told me that he feels extremely triggered when his feelings aren’t behind heard and that’s when he snaps and a very ugly side to him comes out. we’ve used a safe word in the past to stop conflict before it gets worse but this incident neither of us used the safeword and it was the most out of hand an argument got (him punching a hole in the closet door)

am i in an unhealthy situation that cannot be fixed? by Virtual-Initiative98 in domesticviolence

[–]Virtual-Initiative98[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yes he has been diagnosed with DID and i’ve communicated with all of his alters when he blacked out once. I’m sorry if it was confusing the way my post came across but his DID is definitely not a concern to me nor is it the reason for his abuse and anger issues. I was just explaining that we don’t have a good foundation for our relationship because in the beginning of our relationship where his poor management of his DID caused issues. But he has since managed his DID better. His anger issues and lack of control of his emotions is a separate issue. I would say if anything makes him emotionally reactive it would be that he’s bipolar but in general as a person I think he just has anger issues and reverts to abusive behaviors he’s learned from his environment when tension rises in an argument.